Out of the Shadows
by BeckyLadiye
Summary: Christine Farlow is hiding from a dark past. She finds herself befriended by young Renesmee Cullen and her strange family. While trying to decipher the puzzle that the Cullen's present, she finds herself drawn to beautiful, tortured teacher, Daniel Gray
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Only gonna post this here, this once, on the prologue. It applies for ALL this fanfic, Out of the Shadows. Twilight and all recognizable bits/ideas/characters herein belong to Stephanie Meyer. I don't own any of it, I just like to swim in the loveliness occasionally. However, any ideas contained in this fanfiction that you don't recognize from the books are mine. So, don't steal my bits/ideas/characters or I'll send Major Whitlock to your house with instructions to short sheet your bed and bring me all your cookies.

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Prologue - Bella

Deep down, I've always wanted to go to college. It was a dream of mine before I met Edward and all my priorities changed. Funny how love changes things. Now I have everything I could ever want and then some. A loving husband and a beautiful daughter, a large family that loves me dearly and friends I would die for. And I have them all forever. So now that things are as close to perfect as I could ever ask for, maybe it's time to start thinking about what I'd like to do. Besides spend all my time adoring my husband and watching my daughter grow, that is.

Alice had a vision. Not terribly odd, at least not for us. But this one was a little scarier than her usual day to day forecasts, since it involved a serious exposure of our world to the humans. We have little choice but to try and change this future, for all of our sakes. And so, I'm going to get to fulfill that old dream of mine. Dartmouth, here we come.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

One thing that you learn from tragedy is the incredible loneliness that comes when you're the only one left after the world crumbles to dust. My world had crumbled to dust six months ago and I was still struggling to find a solid place to put my feet so I could start putting the pieces back together. My handler, Fran, assured me that things would get easier, I would make new friends and find my place in society under an assumed name. Easy, she thought, when everyone I'd ever loved was either dead or completely out of my reach. When I couldn't even be myself, couldn't touch a piano for fear someone would look too close and see Christine Farlow and not Chrissy Radcliffe.

"We'll catch him, Chris, I promise. Just be patient with us."

I could still hear the FBI's Agent Marcus Franks' voice echoing in my head, pleading for patience. It wasn't a virtue I had cultivated. I had always done things on fast forward, as if somewhere in my subconscious I knew that time was a precious thing that couldn't be wasted. I had learned that the hard way, so it was even harder to reign myself in now.

"Welcome to Dartmouth. In front of you, you'll find class schedules, residential assignments and admission packets. You've got everything in there to get you started. Tour's over, freshmen. If you have any questions, feel free to hunt me down." Our tour guide was a perky senior with a wealth of blonde hair and great big blue eyes. She looked like the perfect Ivy League pin up model, paragon of virtue and obviously the sweetheart of some rich, handsome male specimen just waiting for her to finish her liberal arts degree so she could become his trophy wife. I could almost envy her. I gathered the things in front of me and shoved them into my backpack, all except the residential assignment.

"Hi."

The quiet voice to my right caught my attention and I turned. I blinked in surprise to find a girl beside me. Not a young woman, but a girl. If she was more than 14 years old, I would request a new pair of contacts from Fran. Not only was she young, she had the face of an angel. I swear it glowed from the inside and her deep brown eyes were mesmerizing. Her hair was a shimmering mass of bronze curls that gleamed in the shafts of sunlight coming through the window of the classroom. She kept that hair pulled in a curtain around her face, as if she was hiding from everyone in the room but me.

"Hello, hi." I smiled down at the girl curiously. She was the first thing to break through my zombie-like progression through student orientation.

"I'm Renesmee Cullen. Did you mind if I introduced myself? I'm just a little overwhelmed." Her voice was musical, but her tone was uncertain.

"No, not at all. I'm Chrissy Radcliffe. Are you a student here?" I asked this softly, my gaze flickering around the room as the rest of the freshmen class began to disperse. I let my eyes rest back on Renesmee and I smiled again. She returned my smile with a flash of perfect white teeth.

"Yeah. I know, I'm pretty young. But I'm legit. I've decided to ask my parents to frame my acceptance letter so that people will believe me when I tell them that." She laughed softly, the sound causing a few heads to turn in our direction. I cringed inwardly, but I was intrigued enough by this small, beautiful person to continue our conversation.

"You must be very intelligent, then. What are you majoring in?"

"I'm in pre-med. You?" She lifted her face towards me, exposing more of her pale face to the room. Most of the people were gone now.

"I'm...undecided at the moment. I'm leaning towards music." I answered truthfully. Of course, the only class I had this semester connected to the arts was women's glee club. I had been told I could be suitably anonymous in such a large group. When Renesmee suggested we compare schedules, I was shocked to see we shared that class and one other, a Creative Writing class in the evenings. I grinned and felt something inside me relax. I finally knew someone on campus.

"I'm so glad I finally know someone besides my family here." Renesmee said, echoing my sentiment as we walked together out of the classroom and then out onto the Green, the large grassy area that served Dartmouth's students for everything from picnics to sporting arenas. I noticed a few pairs of eyes following us as we past, but for once it didn't make me feel paranoid. Renesmee was a strangely beautiful, incredibly young student who would undoubtedly draw attention, but it would be focused on her and not any of her companions.

"Oh, your parents live in Hanover?" I wouldn't have let something this precious out of my sight for long, if I were them. She grinned, flashing perfect white teeth again.

"My family has a house up in the mountains. My brother Edward and his wife Bella are going to be students here, too, but they're taking mostly night classes. We are all taking that Creative Writing class together, so you'll get to meet them. Where does your family live?" Her question caused a sharp pang and I had to turn my head to hide it. She noticed anyway.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I wish my da…brother were here. He never says the wrong thing. Do you want me to go away now?" Her voice was very quiet, full of distress. I swallowed and shook my head.

"No, no, don't leave. I just…lost my family recently. It's hard to talk about. So, who's picking you up?" I changed to subject quickly and her smile returned.

"Jacob is waiting for me. Would you like to meet him? He's my best friend." She led me towards student commuter parking. It was a long walk, so we continued to chat, mostly her telling me about her family.

"Bella and Edward are more like my parents than my sister and brother. Very protective, really. And they are so in love. I hope I'm that in love when I get married." She said quietly. We were approaching the lot now and as I considered her words, a giant of a man folded himself out of a dark green Jeep and approached us. Obviously of Native American heritage, he loped more than walked. He couldn't be much shy of seven feet tall and his dark hair was cut into a longer, shaggy style. Something about him screamed predator and danger, causing a tingle down my spine, yet the expression on his face when he looked at Renesmee was a curious mix of adoration and confusion.

"Jake! I found a friend. This is Chrissy Radcliffe. We have two classes together." Renesmee was obviously pleased with herself. Jake moved in and rested his hand on the young girl's head, his long fingers trailing through her curls gently. I was shocked by the tender way he touched her. He didn't look much older than 17 or 18, despite his size. Renesmee had said he was her best friend. I decided quickly that it wasn't my business and gave him a shy smile. He looked at me warily for a moment and then nodded his head.

"Nice to meet you, Chrissy. Thanks for watching out for Nessie." His voice was deep and quiet, like his eyes. His obvious implication that Renesmee needed a keeper made the girl duck out from under his hand and stick her tongue out at him.

I laughed, "It was a mutual thing, I promise. It is nice to have a friend. I didn't know anyone before she introduced herself. But really, I'm probably keeping you both and I need to go find my dorm room."

Renesmee frowned and then looked up at Jacob. "Oh, yes, well. Do you think it's too early to invite her for dinner?" Jacob snorted and grinned.

"Ness, I don't think your pa…family would like that, if they didn't have time to prepare first. Let her get settled in and if she still likes you on Monday, we can think about it." Jacob's voice was amused and I reached out tentatively to touch Renesmee on the arm.

"Really, I need to go get my car unloaded at the dorm and settle in. I need to find out who my roommate is so I can get to know them, too. But I promise we can hang out on Monday. I can't wait to see you in glee club. What part do you sing? I'm guessing first soprano. We can sit together in the section." Three things I usually noticed about a person first off. Their voice, both pitch and tone, their hands, and whether or not they posed any threat to my life or the people in it. The last thing was an ability I'd always had. Unfortunately, I had gotten too good at ignoring that odd sixth sense up until about a year ago, when I had learned to trust that uncanny sense of danger during the nightmare with my stalker. I still hadn't been able to save my parents.

Renesmee seemed mollified by my promise to hang out with her on Monday and we said our goodbyes. I couldn't help smiling as I tried to remember where I'd parked my unassuming old Buick. It had plenty of room for packing a girl away to college, but I really didn't have much to unpack. My last few months had been spent tucked away in a safe house. I had a handful of clothes, a few books and my notebooks for composing. I hadn't been allowed to bring the small keyboard from the safehouse, not that I'd lamented leaving it. Everything I'd tried to create the last few months was all very dark, clashing. Nothing I wanted to pursue. But now, Renesmee had inspired me. I grinned triumphantly. I couldn't wait to get settled so I could play around with notes, keyboard or no keyboard.

****

My weekend was uneventful. I wasn't speaking to Fran at the moment. The FBI had decided it would be 'safer' if I didn't have a roommate. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, but in rebellion I had purchased a keyboard when I'd gone shopping for bedding and other usual dorm things, like a microwave and a small fridge. It was one of those keyboards you could put headphones in, so no one would be able to hear my compositions. I spent most of my time Friday, Saturday and Sunday writing Renesmee's song.

For the first time in six months, I woke up excited. I had two morning classes on Monday before glee club, so I sat through them as the teachers introduced the classes and gave us syllabi. I got out of both classes very early, as most of the students didn't have their books yet. I still had some time before glee, so I headed back to the dorm to make a sandwich and change my clothes.

As I brushed my teeth, I studied my reflection in the mirror critically. My thick auburn hair was caught up in a pair of pigtails, curling around my shoulders. I had always worn my hair shorter, so the length was hard to get used to. The length and style made me look younger than my 19 years, so they were deemed worthy of my 'disguise'. My eyes were brown due to contacts I wore to hide the more noticeable pale green they really were. They were lashed thickly and the shadows under them spoke of a multitude of sleepless nights. My skin was pale and nearly flawless, sprinkled with a dusting of freckles. It was a pretty face, surprisingly enough, and my figure wasn't too bad either at a lush size ten. I had never been pretty before, always fighting with about fifty pounds of extra weight and a nasty case of acne through my teenage years. Ironic how tragedy had changed me so much on the outside as well as the inside.

I sighed and grabbed my latest composition notebook and shoved it into my backpack along with a bottle of water before running for the door. I walked into the Hop, the Arts building, and beelined for the large choral practice room. I stood in the door, looking around. I was one of the first people to arrive. A quiet question to the graduate student hovering at the piano got me a score and a general idea of where each section was located. I was trying to decide where to sit when I heard an excited exclamation from behind me.

"Chrissy! Hi!" Renesmee was just as bright and beautiful as I'd remembered. She had her hair pulled back today, her face drawing stares from the handful of girls already here. I smiled and drew the young girl to the piano so she could get her score. The grad student, who hadn't done more than smile half heartedly at me, perked up and introduced himself to Renesmee eagerly.

"Hi, I'm Ted Morris. Welcome to glee. I heard the rumors that we had a real genius prodigy on campus but I'm surprised to see it was true." I saw Renesmee's smile slip a little and she blushed crimson. My danger sense hadn't pinged so I figured the man was harmless, but he didn't have much tact. I rolled my eyes at him as Renesmee responded.

"Renesmee Cullen. Um…thanks." Then she took my hand and dragged me into the soprano section, all the way at the top of the risers. She was incredibly strong for such a frail looking person. "Sorry, I don't like drawing attention to myself."

"Actually, I completely understand. So, how was your weekend?" I tried my best to distract her from her discomfort. It seemed to work, because she started talking about a hiking trip she and her family had taken up in the White Mountains. I let her talk quietly as the risers began to fill up. A few of the girls around us introduced themselves then and we exchanged generic personal information until the class began. It took the whole hour for Ted and Dr. Jorgen, our instructor, to listen and rearrange the sections to their liking. Luckily, Renesmee and I had similar tones. She had the end chair on the first row and I had the end chair on the second row.

"Carmina Burana…it's a challenging piece but a fun one, I think." Renesmee's insight about the piece we were doing surprised me. Most people, even those that claimed to enjoy music, wouldn't have known anything about Carmina Burana, expect perhaps to recognize the 'O Fortuna' theme as a popular choice for action movie soundtracks. The two of us were walking towards the student life center to hit the bookstore. We both had a couple of new books we needed for classes and Renesmee mentioned that she was hungry.

"Yes, I love the whole production. So, where's Jacob today?" I held the door open for her. She shrugged as I fell back in beside her.

"My…Edward dropped me off today. Jacob is starting a new job. He's a mechanic. It gives him something to do while we're all in classes. I'm supposed to call Edward as soon as I'm done getting my books. Our class isn't until six, so I have about four hours to kill." She smiled as we entered the bookstore. We separated for a few minutes, looking for different things. I met back up with her outside the store. She was sitting on a bench with a cell phone to her ear.

"…can take care of myself. Besides, Chrissy is here. No, I haven't asked…" Renesmee looked up to see me and grinned. "Do you mind if I hang out with you instead of my brother?"

I shook my head. "I don't have any other classes until six, either." I stood by while Nessie confirmed with her brother that she'd meet him and Bella a few minutes before our mutual class. Then she dragged me across the Green to a little café where she ordered herself lunch. I wasn't really hungry so I just ordered a glass of tea.

"So, do you mind me asking about your family?" She asked between bites of her steak sandwich. I was quiet for a moment before shaking my head.

"I'm all alone, actually. My parents are…dead. My brother and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. I really miss them all. My parents were wonderful. So supportive and they encouraged me to try anything. Not that we didn't have our arguments. They hated that I traveled so much, thought I needed a more normal teenage life. I wish I'd let them win that argument towards the end…" I trailed off, realizing I was probably saying too much. I stared into my glass of tea with a glum expression. Renesmee reached out and touched my hand with her own warm fingers.

"I'm sorry. That sounds lonely. I don't know what I would do without my family. What about friends? Any of those you can call if you're really sad and need someone to talk to?" She asked so hopefully that I almost hated to shake my head. Most of my 'friends' were employees of my record label, my agent or other musicians who were closer to my parents' age than mine. My brother was my best friend and I wasn't allowed near him right now. Nessie studied my sad smile for a long time before smiling broadly.

"Well, I can be your best friend, if you'd like. I really don't have any friends either, besides my family. Maybe I can share my family with you too. I think you and my…Bella will really get along. I can't wait for you to meet her tonight. So, what shall we do today?" I was looking at her with what had to be a dumbfounded expression. I shook my head a bit and then laughed.

"Well, I…okay. Um…there's supposed to be an Outing Club here. Want to head over there and see what that's all about? You mentioned your family likes to hike, so maybe if I have you to motivate me, I'll actually do some stuff like that. I really do need the exercise." My suggestion was a good one obviously, because Nessie, as I was instructed to call her, finished her lunch in record time and we headed out.

By the time six o'clock rolled around, I was completely in love with young Nessie. She had such a bright outlook that you couldn't help but smile when she was around. My maternal instincts kicked in any time someone approached us, curious about the young girl. I was only five years older than her, but her sweet personality and air of naiveté made me want to protect her. I couldn't understand how her parents could allow her out of their sight on campus for hours at a time. I wondered why she had attached herself to me so firmly. It really made no sense, unless she was one of those rare empathic souls that just knew when a person needed a bright soul to distract them from lonely existence.

"Nessie." The musical voice behind me made my danger sense ping weakly, like it did when I was driving too fast on the freeway and I knew if I didn't slow down my chances of ending up in an accident were pretty good. I'd felt that when I'd met Jacob on Friday, but this particular reaction happened so often, I'd learned that it was more of a warning to approach with caution than a warning for impending doom.

We were already seated at one of the tables scattered around the large classroom. They were set up for groups of four students. I looked up as two of the most astoundingly beautiful people I'd ever seen settled into the other seats at our table. I shouldn't have been surprised, since I'd been looking at Nessie's beauty all day. It was the girl, Bella, who settled to my right and her husband Edward across from me, his back to the front of the classroom.

"Hi, Bella." Renesmee addressed the girl with a grin. Strangely, I'd noticed a slight hesitation whenever she'd called her sister in law by name all day, but now she said it almost as a challenge. I noted the resigned look in the girl's golden eyes and wondered if there was some jealousy between them. I hadn't noticed it when Nessie talked about Bella. In fact, I was sure she loved Bella very much.

Bella's skin was white. Not just pale, but lily white, with ruby red lips and a perfect complexion framed by a wealth of dark brown hair. Snow White, I thought, and her equally snowy Prince Charming. Edward had the same white complexion and beautiful features, but his hair was a match for Nessie's bronze locks, though cut short and without the curls. The pair of them were about my age, though Bella looked a little older than Edward. He was probably as smart as his sister, so I wondered if he'd skipped a grade or two in school himself.

"Aren't you going to introduce your friend, Nessie?" Edward wore a brilliant smile as he looked at me, his eyes sparkling the same golden shade as Bella's. How odd, I thought, but was distracted by Edward's beautiful voice. Another thing he shared with his sister. I looked down at Edward's hands and noted the beautiful, long fingers and had the overwhelming urge to ask him if he played the piano. They were musician's hands. I saw those hands twitch, almost as if he knew what I was thinking. I turned my head back to Nessie as she introduced me to her family.

"Edward, Bella, this is Chrissy Radcliffe. She and I are going to be best friends this semester." She sounded very smug. I caught a concerned glance that passed between Edward and Bella then, and Nessie's face set into a determined frown.

"Nothing is going to happen to her." Nessie mouthed this at Edward. She'd spoken fast, but I was a good lip reader. It came from days in the studio when I would watch the producers through the glass when they were discussing my music without consulting me. I hated not knowing what people were saying about my music and so I'd learned quickly. I had no time to think what she could possibly mean when my danger sense began pinging wildly, so hard that I actually cringed. Our teacher had just entered the room.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I sat beside Renesmee in the back seat of Edward and Bella's sleek Mercedes Guardian. It was an older model but it purred so quietly I almost forgot we were speeding along the roads north of Dartmouth heading to the Cullen's home. Odd that the Cullen's had a car like this, one that was reputed to be exclusive for VIP persons and world leaders because it was almost as safe as a tank. I wasn't a car person, but my handler had teased me often that they needed to get me a Guardian for my twentieth birthday. I knew Fran'd just been teasing because my life was not worth the price of one of these cars. Evidently the Cullen's had a lot of money, but who on earth would want to hurt these beautiful people? The thought was repulsive.

Edward laughed from the driver's seat and I wondered idly if I'd missed something that Bella'd said to him. Renesmee had her arm around my shoulders, talking non-stop about nonsense. It was almost soothing, but I was still tense. The last hour in Creative Writing had been a nightmare as I'd tried to keep myself from running out of the room. The last time I'd felt that helpless was six months ago, before my stalker had killed my parents and then had proceeded to carve his name into my body. The only thing that had saved my life had been my brother's arrival.

Our teacher, Dr. Daniel Gray, was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. His raven hair was long and caught back by a leather thong, his body was built but not outlandishly so beneath his tailored gray slacks and short sleeved black dress shirt. His eyes were dark, black I thought, and his complexion was as pale as the Cullen's. If I hadn't been so preoccupied with my fears, I might have dwelt on that fact. Instead, I'd spent the hour staring at this gorgeous man, watching him move like a restless cat pacing the front of the classroom. He had never stepped beyond the desk in front of the room, always asking a student to pass out the materials. He'd seemed nervous and his gaze had flickered over our table at the back of the room often. The two times our eyes had met and held for more than a brief moment, I'd been shocked by a deep sense of dislike bordering on hatred searing through me.

The only time I had gotten anywhere near the man had been on the way out of the room. I had stopped at his desk, wanting to introduce myself despite the pulsing waves of fear and danger I felt surging between us. I needed to know if he was a threat to me, see if there was something familiar about him that I'd missed. I couldn't very well ask the FBI to run a background check on one of my teachers just because I sensed he was dangerous. They'd laugh me into a straight jacket, or into another psychiatrist's office at the very least.

"_Hello, Dr. Gray. I'm Chrissy Radcliffe. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know how excited I am about this class."_ I had said. My voice had broken a couple of times, but maybe he'd just attributed that to nervousness. I hadn't been the only female in the class hovering near the front of the room. Daniel really was 'smokin' hot' as the younger set would have said and despite the danger, I'd felt an odd sense of attraction to him. That frightened me even more, that I could be attracted to such a dangerous man.

"_Hello, Chrissy." _His voice had rolled over me like honey, almost a seductive invitation to…something. His black eyes smoldered with a hunger that had frozen me in place. I now knew what the proverbial deer in the headlights felt like. My mind had screeched for me to move but my body quivered like it had been about to melt into the floor, my blood pumping with a flood of adrenaline hotter than lava. Edward and Bella had flanked me on either side and the shock of their cold hands on my arms had been enough to break through my daze. They had gently pulled me from the room with Nessie literally plastered against my back, subtly pushing me along. When I had looked back over my shoulder and noticed Daniel Gray's face, his lips had been curled back into a snarl, his hands clutching the edge of the desk as if he were holding himself back. The rest of the females that had been hovering scattered like frightened doves.

"Thank you for coming tonight. I've never really had a friend I could invite over for dinner. Crazy, I know. You're probably thinking how incredibly juvenile that is, but…" Nessie voice trailed off as I offered her a smile, my mind snapping back to the present.

"No, I'm glad to come over. I…don't think I'd want to be alone tonight. I didn't get a roommate, so it's very lonely in my room." My voice must have sounded more frightened than wistful because Nessie's arm tightened about me. I was a little shocked by the strength in her thin arms. Edward's voice broke my thoughts.

"Most people would kill for a room to themselves. You don't like having time to yourself?" His voice was quiet, as if the answer was very important to him. I sighed.

"I've spent too much time alone in my life. I mean, I've always had people around me, but I never really connected with anyone but my family. And with Nessie here." I added the last quickly, not wanting to hurt the girl's feelings. I gave the girl a grateful smile. "I'm very glad she decided to adopt me. I really did need a friend."

Bella laughed softly, a very musical sound, and I glanced at her. She was looking back at Nessie with love shining in her eyes. "Our Nessie is a treasure, certainly. We don't let her out much, so I'm glad she's found someone to befriend besides our family and Jacob. We were worried about her being on her own so much during the day, but she insisted she needs some independence."

"Independence would be nice. But since I'm wearing a freaking tracking device and a panic button, it's a little hollow, Bella." Nessie sounded a little frustrated and she drew out Bella's name at the end. She flourished her wrist in the air and I noticed her bracelet. It was a beautiful silver cuff with a family crest inset, a lion and a hand. The name Cullen was scrolled under the lion. It didn't seem to have a latch but it was fitted to her wrist fairly snugly. Surely there was a hidden catch.

"You know how frantic your parents would be if you got hurt or went missing, Nessie. Is it too much to ask in exchange for a few hours a day without us hovering?" Bella's question was laced with the same frustration that Nessie had shown. Obviously this was an old, well worn family debate. Renesmee didn't answer. She just sighed and laid her head against my shoulder. I patted her curls awkwardly and gave Bella an understanding smile. I'd known Nessie two days and already I was fairly certain I'd fight off wolves to keep her safe. I blinked in surprise when Edward started laughing in the front seat again, this time so hard I was a bit afraid he might lose control of the car. Bella's gaze narrowed on Edward and he murmured something between laughter that was too low for me to pick out. Bella's mouth curved into an amused smile. I wondered what the private joke was.

"Well, I'm glad you found Chris, Nessie. I think we'll all be great friends." Bella's words warmed me and I relaxed a little more against the seat as we turned off the main road onto a wooded lane that wound up into the mountains. I was a little surprised that the Cullen home was nearly an hour from the school. That was a wicked commute. It was dark when we pulled up to the house, so I didn't see much except for a vague, dark outline. Edward pulled the car into a three car garage. I was aware enough of the Cullen's obvious wealth not to gape at the Ferrari or the Aston Martin that flanked the Guardian. I wasn't exactly poor myself, but I couldn't flaunt that. Not until the dark menace stalking me was caught.

The Cullen's house was decorated in cool colors, lots of pale blues and creamy whites. There were windows everywhere and I thought how bright and airy the house would seem in the sunshine. There wasn't much décor other than some generic looking white furniture. Renesmee had told me that they had just moved into the house, so I supposed the house wouldn't have a personal stamp on it yet.

I spent a pleasant evening with the small family. Renesmee gave me a tour of the house while Bella and Edward laid out an impressive sandwich spread in the kitchen. The couple didn't eat with us, instead just sitting with us as we munched. I learned about some of their other family, finding out that Edward and Nessie had been adopted by Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme, into a large foster family. I saw the pictures that Nessie insisted I look at and I was amazed. Dr. Cullen didn't look a day over twenty five, and yet he had adopted a house full of teenagers. All three of the Cullens with me spoke highly of their 'Dad' and the rest of their precious family. I couldn't help a twinge of jealousy. To distract myself, I asked about Edward and Bella's relationship.

"We met in Biology class," Edward said with a grin. Bella reached up to touch his cheek and their gazes locked. I blushed and looked over at Renesmee. She was calmly munching her sandwich, so she must be used to them going googley eyed on her. She finished the story for them.

"They fell deeply in love, overcame terrible opposition to their union and finally got married. In a nutshell." I had the distinct feeling there was a lot more to the story than that, but I didn't know them well enough to ask for the more part.

"What's your Tuesday schedule look like, Nessie?" I asked her this as I finished off a piece of lemon meringue pie. "And where did you buy the pie? This is wonderful."

"Oh, Edward made the pie. He's an awesome cook, oddly enough." Nessie flashed Edward a grin, which he returned briefly before returning his full attention to Bella. Nessie finished answering my questions. "I've got a full day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm trying to finish up in three years instead of four so I'll stay pretty busy. Wednesdays, I have two labs in the afternoons, but my Mondays and Fridays I have glee to Creative Writing free. So I'm hoping we can spend time together on those days. Maybe that will keep you from getting sick of my company." She laughed, but I could tell she was unsure of herself. I patted her hand.

"Nessie, I don't think I could ever get sick of your company. You're just what I need in my life right now, a breath of incredibly fresh air. But, since you've got a full day tomorrow, I really should be getting back to the dorm. If I'd realized what a drive it was, I wouldn't have come up on a weeknight." That seemed to break into whatever love trance Edward and Bella were enthralled in. They both made polite noises.

"It was nothing. We wanted to meet you. We're night owls anyway." Edward smiled and offered to take me home. I agreed and was thrilled to get a hug from Nessie. As we were saying goodbye, Edward stiffened at my side.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked the very question I wanted to.

"I forgot that we've got other company coming. Someone I need to talk to. Chrissy, do you mind if Bella takes you home instead?" He gave me an apologetic smile and I shrugged.

"I don't want to interrupt your evening. It was wonderful meeting you. Thank you for letting me visit your beautiful house," I said quietly. He nodded and then drew Bella aside as Nessie walked me to the door. I looked out and saw a car pull into the drive. I heard Edward groan behind me and suddenly I found myself bustled away from the front of the house and out a side door into the garage. I noted again the cold touch of Bella's hands on my elbows.

"Sorry, sorry." Bella was muttering as she opened the passenger side of the Ferrari and literally helped me into the seat. She slammed the opening shut and was in the driver's seat, buckling herself in before I could breathe twice. I blinked.

"Bella, what's wrong?" She didn't look at me as she waited for the garage door to open, her fingers tapping a fast rhythm on the steering wheel. As soon as the door was up enough, she gunned the engine and sped from the garage. I gasped and clutched my hands around the shoulder strap of my seatbelt. Not because of the speed that she was driving, but because I caught a glimpse of the man standing on the front porch with Edward. Daniel Gray.

"Oh my god. You know him?" I asked. Bella sighed.

"He's an old family acquaintance. That's why we're all taking his class." I thought Bella's answer sounded strange. I was pretty good at catching people in lies. This didn't sound like a lie, really, but I thought she was leaving something important out.

"Funny Nessie didn't mention that," I commented softly. Bella grimaced and I focused on the road. I immediately wished I hadn't. The landscape was flashing past at an alarming rate of speed. The Cullen's really didn't want me anywhere near Daniel Gray. Somehow they knew about the danger that I'd sensed with him. What did they know about Daniel Gray that would make them so concerned for my safety?

"Chrissy, I think you should consider dropping Creative Writing this semester." Bella's chimelike voice echoed my own thoughts, but I really didn't want to drop that class. Maybe I was just stubborn, but I was too fascinated by the Cullen's to miss one second of time with them. I felt safe with them, for the first time in months. Even when my danger sense was pinging off the charts around our Creative Writing teacher.

"Why?" I had to know Bella's reasons. All I had was my sixth sense of danger, which was pretty reliable, but Daniel Gray didn't know me. Did he?

"For your own good." Bella winced as she said those words, as if they were hard for her to say. I blinked.

"Does Daniel Gray pose a threat to me?" Bella's grimace was barely noticeable in the dim blue lights coming off the dashboard, but it was there. I waited, hoping for an explanation.

"If I tell you yes, would you promise not to ask me why again?" Bella's question was hopeful but I knew she saw me shake my head. She sighed softly. I echoed the sentiment.

"Just tell me, does Daniel know me somehow? Is this danger because of who I am?" In a round about way, I was asking Bella if they knew I wasn't really Chrissy Radcliffe. Maybe that's why my danger sense had screamed. Perhaps Daniel was going to expose me. Bella's words eased that particular fear.

"Dan didn't lay eyes on you until today in class. I can't really tell you why you're in danger, Chrissy…" Bella trailed off when her phone rang. She pulled it out and lifted it to her ear.

"So he's going to behave himself? It isn't that easy, as you well know." Pause. "What did Alice see?" Pause. "A human stalker?" Bella listened for a few more seconds and then put her phone away. She glanced over at me with speculative eyes.

"You have a stalker?" Her voice was gentle and low, questioning. Just the word 'stalker' sent me into a panic attack. The world blurred for a moment and I had trouble breathing. The next moment, I found myself outside the car, on all fours with my hands buried in a carpet of damp grass beside the road. Bella hovered, but didn't touch me.

"How did you know that? You do know who I am, don't you? Oh, god. Fran's gonna kill me. What did I do to give myself away?" My voice was frantic, breaking at odd intervals. Bella's cool hands came to rest on my shoulders.

"Chris, its okay. Just remember to breathe. Everything's fine, we aren't going to say anything to anyone. Trust me when I say we know how important some secrets are to keep." Her words weren't soothing. Instead, I began to hyperventilate. They knew my secret. I was going to have to move again. Blackness crept up on me as I passed out in Bella's arms.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The first thing I noticed when I came to was the hard, cool cradle I was in. I was shocked when I opened my eyes to register Bella's face above my own. She was carrying me. Me, who had to outweigh her by twenty pounds. She held me as if I weighed no more than a baby. The next thing that registered was the speed. I could literally hear the wind whistling by as she ran. I could feel the panic welling up in my chest again, but before I could choke out an exclamation, we were on the front porch of her house.

"Chrissy, are you okay?" Nessie's concerned voice caught me and held back the panic. I couldn't break down in front of this beautiful, innocent girl. She didn't need to be touched by my horror. Suddenly Edward's face was hovering over me. He touched my face with cool fingers and his smile was dazzling.

"Don't worry about Nessie, Christine. She's not as fragile as you think." His use of my real name confirmed my worst fears and I fought hard against the blackness that threatned to pull me under again. Bella set me down on the couch and suggested I put my head between my knees. I noticed one thing, however, as I was trying to remember how to breathe. My danger sense was completely quiet. Not a ping. That did more to soothe me than any words.

"Daniel left?"

"No." That single word, stated in a bass voice that made my spine tingle, came from across the room. My head came up and I saw him sitting on the stairs to the second story, his long, wavy black hair down around his broad shoulders. He looked even better in a pair of blue jeans and a crew neck t-shirt than any man should be allowed. My danger sense chose that moment to ping, but it was weak. Yes, he was still a danger to me, but it was a nebulous thing now, not the raging certainty it had been this afternoon. I relaxed back against the couch and stared at the four people who where now the most important people in my life. Did they really know who I was?

"Christine Farlow." Edward's words made my eyes snap to his face. I frowned. He had the uncanny ability to answer my questions before I even asked them. I narrowed my eyes. I'm not the only one with weird mental abilities, am I? When his mouth tightened, as if he'd heard the question I'd only thought, I considered putting my head between my knees again. How much stranger could this situation get? Edward snorted softly and mouthed something that looked vaguely like 'You have no idea.' I glared at the beautiful man with the bronze hair.

"It was a rhetorical question." I snapped the words, a little angry at him. Instead of being shocked, remorseful or angry, Edward smiled. He crouched in front of me and looked me in the eyes.

"Now you know something about me, too. I trust you with my secret, you can trust us with yours." And suddenly I knew how they knew who I was. It wasn't because they'd recognized me. It was because Edward was meddling in thoughts. He threw up both hands and shook his head.

"Involuntary, I swear. It's not something I can control, really." His tone was laced with resignation and frustration. I relaxed a little and tried my best to think of absolutely nothing. A little hard when my life was swinging over a wide chasm of loneliness and death. A little melodramatic? I glanced at Edward and he wore an expression of complete understanding. So, he knew a little bit about loneliness and death.

"Okay, so what exactly are you going to tell your friend Fran about us?" Bella's voice was soft. She was sitting on the other end of the couch from me. Nessie's warm body was beside me, her thin arm wrapped around my shoulders. I sighed.

"Well, I suppose I could try absolutely nothing, but Fran already knows I came up here for dinner. If I don't check in with her by nine o'clock, she's going to call me." I didn't see any more reason for secrecy. All they had to do was google 'Christine Farlow' and they'd have the larger part of the story anyway. Now I had to decide if I lied to my handler and got to stay at Dartmouth with these people that knew exactly who I was or if I told the truth and ended up in Nome, Alaska until the end of time. Edward's lips twitched again and I rolled my eyes.

"What?"

"Alaska's really nice this time of year."

For some reason, I found this extremely funny. I laughed. Okay, so it bordered on hysterical, but I pulled myself together before the sobs started.

"I don't want to leave." I said this and it was true. I had a reason to stay here now. People that I felt safe with…well, maybe not Daniel…but I would miss them if I had to go. After months of being isolated, suddenly I had a reason to do more than stare at the walls and sigh. I had songs bouncing around in my head that I had to compose before I burst. Happy songs, thoughtful songs, even a couple of scary songs, but for the first time since the mess with the stalker began, over a year ago, I felt truly alive and I wanted play my music.

"Daniel, are you okay over there?" Bella's quiet question made me look up. My eyes met Daniel's and I was shocked by the look of pain that spread across his beautiful face. Our gazes locked and my heart stuttered. His eyes, which I thought had been black only two hours ago, were in fact a deep burnished gold. I couldn't help but wonder what it was about me that made him into a tortured, dangerous man. He was a college professor. Teachers, by definition, usually liked being around people. Didn't they?

"I'm fine. In control, I think." His voice feathered across my brain and down my spine, as it always seemed to. Earlier, it had caused alarm. Now, it was something different. I sighed softly and had the nearly overwhelming urge to comfort this man. Edward cleared his throat and I looked away, blushing like a teenager caught staring at her first crush. Okay, so I was still a teenager, but I wasn't exactly a typical naïve, easily impressed youth. I couldn't really tell how old Daniel was. His smooth, pale face was ageless, but it still bore a youthful cast. But he had a doctorate, so I guessed at least thirty. I glanced at Renesmee and adjusted my estimate to at least twenty five. But the main issue here was my attraction to this dangerous man. I wasn't usually a glutton for punishment.

"So, we need to get you back to campus by nine o'clock. That gives us…about an hour." Nessie was looking at me with concern, her gaze flickering between me and her brother. Edward shook his head at her and I realized she asked him a silent question. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the couch, just breathing for a moment. My mind was running in circles, but I needed to make some decisions. My fingers twitched. It was times like these I really mourned the loss of my beautiful baby grand. I shuddered as I remembered my stalker hacking away at the beautiful instrument with a fireman's axe.

"Christine?" Edward's voice was quiet and I heard an echo of my pain in his tone. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His smile was one of kindred soul to kindred soul. "I think we're going to be very good friends. Let me show you something." He gestured towards the rest of the house and I scooted forward and Renesmee pushed me up from the couch. I trailed after Edward, pleased that my legs seemed happy to support my weight again. He led me through the kitchen and large formal dining room and pushed open a pair of beautiful mahogany double doors. This room hadn't been on the tour earlier. He stood back and let me proceed him into what I would have thought to be an office. Instead, I walked into a music room. My gasp of wonder brought Edward to my side.

"This is…wow. This is all yours?" I stepped forward and gently brushed my fingers over the glossy black top of the grand piano. I realized that since these people knew who I was, playing in their house was not forbidden. There were other instruments along the walls, shelves full of recording and playback equipment, stacks and stacks of CDs, but I had eyes only for the piano. Edward reached out and lifted the cover from the keys.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts," he said softly and retreated from the room, pulling the doors almost closed behind him. I slid behind the keys and caressed a scale. The sound was beautiful. I launched into my favorite guilty pleasure, Fur Elise, and quickly blended into one of my own compositions. I just let my fingers fly, the feel of the keys under my fingers and the sounds working their magic on my brain. I let my thoughts drift.

By the time Edward knocked politely on the door and let himself back into the room, I had made a couple of decisions. One, I would not be telling Fran that the Cullens knew about me. Two, I wasn't going to be dropping Creative Writing. This little family was too intriguing for me to lose any amount of time with them. What I was still having trouble deciding was exactly what the Cullen's *were*. There were a lot of little things that didn't add up about them. Renesmee's intelligence could be explained away. There were enough examples of smart youngsters in the world. I suppose most people thought I qualified as one myself, but in regards to music instead of general intelligence. But what didn't add up was Edward's telepathy, Bella's strength and speed, and both of their incredibly cool, hard, pale skin. It was a puzzle that I just couldn't leave in the box. My mind kept trying to put the pieces together in a manner that made sense.

"Aliens?" Edward's incredulous laughter made me glare at him.

"Just wait. I'm sure that's the least embarrassing thing my mind will come up with over the length of our acquaintance. I'm hoping to shock you with a few, Mr. Cullen." He sobered and tilted his head as I began to think through a list of outrageous possibilities. He chuckled.

"You're running through comic books." He didn't sound impressed. So I wasn't terribly original. Just wait until I started running through episodes of Supernatural and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Aha! He grimaced. I had a starting place. His face hardened and I felt just a tingle of danger shiver down my spine. Okay, so maybe Daniel wasn't the only dangerous person in this house. I jumped up from the piano and gently closed the lid before sidling past Edward and out the door. I beelined for the living room where I heard Renesmee's voice.

Bella and I drove with Daniel down the mountain so we could pick up the Ferrari. I stayed quiet for the drive, watching Daniel from the back seat of his roomy black Lexus. He was tense and still, almost as if he wasn't breathing. Surely I was just missing the rise and fall of his chest due to the dark and the angle I was watching from. He didn't speak at all until we stopped by Bella's car. Then he turned and looked at me.

"You play beautifully, Christine. I really hope you'll continue coming to my class. I'd…like to get to know you better." His eyes tightened throughout his speech, as if talking caused him pain. But his smile looked genuine so I returned it and nodded.

"I'll see you on Wednesday, then." And then Bella and I stepped out of his car and he was gone.

Over the next few weeks, I was almost relieved not to get another invite to the Cullen home. I needed time to adjust to my classes and settle into dorm life. Renesmee and I still spent Monday and Friday afternoons together, just talking about nonsensical things and having lunch before our Creative Writing classes. The classes themselves were the highlight of my days. As much as I tried not to, I counted the hours until I could chat with Edward and Bella again. And to see Daniel. He still remained firmly planted behind the desk in the front of the room, but as the classes progressed, he seemed to lose that pained tightness behind his eyes. I began to enjoy just listening to him talk between our brainstorming and thirty minute writing blitzes.

I often noticed Edward watching me with a frown when I'd been staring at Daniel too long. He had even kicked my chair a few times when my mind wandered down paths that he most definitely should not be eavesdropping on. At which point I would concentrate on some recent composition or on Renesmee. At least she didn't seem to disapprove of my fascination with Daniel. Not that I talked about him much. Our conversations usually revolved around Nessie. She was very good at turning the conversation when it suited her, but she did it rarely. We talked a lot about her family and Jacob, with Jacob being a safer subject. I was still trying to piece together the puzzle that was the Cullen's and Nessie was careful not to give me any new pieces. And so I learned that Jacob was not only Nessie's best friend, but that she harbored an affection bordering on love for the tall, Native American man.

"We've been together since I can remember. Our families pretty much expect us to be a couple." Nessie sounded content with that. I was shocked. This beautiful, smart creature was content to settle for the boy next door, as it were, at age fourteen. Okay, so Jacob seemed like a very grounded, incredibly wise young man from all accounts, but still. I felt the need to offer some advice.

"You talk about him so much, I feel like I know him. But you're only fourteen, Nessie. Don't you think you, or him, might consider dating other people? Just to make sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together?" I was shocked when Nessie frowned angrily. Evidently I wasn't the only one that had suggested this and she wasn't having any of it. I decided to change the subject.

"Speaking of fourteen, I heard Bella mention you're birthday is coming up soon. Are you having a party?" This was a subject that Nessie bubbled over about. Her entire family was coming to New Hampshire for the party. I really wanted to go, not just because I wanted to be there to celebrate with Nessie, but because I was hoping that I would get more pieces for the Cullen puzzle.

"Oh, we're going to be late for class." Nessie's exclamation shocked me. I still had to run back to the dorm and get my homework assignment. I thought I could just make it if I sprinted. Nessie grinned.

"I'll cover for you with Daniel." I chuckled softly at that and almost hoped that the man would call me out for being late. He was a teacher, so I suppose that being friends with him was somehow forbidden, but he fascinated me as much as the Cullen's. Or maybe he fascinated me because I knew that somehow he was another piece of the puzzle in my head.

I was out of breath by the time I made it to the classroom and I paused outside the open door to catch my breath. I didn't want to walk in gasping like a landed fish. I leaned against the wall outside the door and I could hear Nessie talking to Bella. Our table was the closest to the door.

"Mom, she wouldn't be the only human there. Jake and the pack will be eating too. I want her to come." Despite the hushed tone of Renesmee's voice, for some reason the acoustics were perfect to carry her words to me. Words that slammed into my pile of Cullen puzzle pieces and scattered them to kingdom come. I had been trying my best to keep the edges of my puzzle grounded in reality but now the possibilities were endless.

"Hello, Chrissy." My thoughts stuttered to a stop as the familiar voice cut through my musings. Daniel was standing in the doorway, smiling at me. I inhaled his scent, an intoxicating blend of woodsmoke and something that hinted at cinnamon and chocolate. His posture was tense, but his voice was almost teasing. "A bit out of breath, are we? Nessie mentioned you'd left your homework and we were betting whether or not you'd make it to class on time."

"I'm a fast runner, when the situation calls for it." I said quietly. Something flashed across his face then, anger? My danger sense wasn't making much noise so maybe I was mistaken. Whatever it was melted into something akin to concern and I felt an overwhelming urge to reach up and brush back the lock of hair that was falling into his eyes as he leaned close to me.

"Aside from forgetting your homework, I hope the situation never arises." His cool breath feathered across my face and I had to give my heart a pep talk to keep it from tripping a crazy rhythm in my chest. My brain knew that he was making a reference to my stalker, but my heart was only interested in the fact that he was concerned for my well being. And less than six inches from me with his hard, gorgeous body. The pep talk failed miserably as my heartbeat sped up and a blush rose in my cheeks.

"Thank you." It was the most I could manage at that moment. I heard his sharp intake of breath a split second before he moved so quickly it was almost a blur. His eyes were pained as he gazed at me from six feet away. I ducked my head and slipped into the room, stealing into my chair.

"You made it on time! Maybe you should go out for track." Renesmee's words were teasing. Obviously she didn't know I'd overheard her talking to her mother. I was trying to wrap my head around that bit of information. She had called Bella 'Mom'. Nessie had always alluded to the fact that she thought of Edward and Bella as parents more than siblings. It seemed impossible. I quickly glanced over at Bella and she seemed as unconcerned as Nessie. Edward was notably absent. I was grateful, because I didn't know how he would react to my jumbled thoughts.

"Where's Edward?" I asked softly as I unzipped my backpack and pulled out my notebook. Bella chuckled. As always, I was mesmerized by the musical tones she made when she was amused. I had composed a piece earlier this week inspired by the sound of her laughter. I had once pondered that maybe they were angels in disguise and that had sent Edward into a laughing fit in the middle of class a week ago.

"He and Jacob were working on a project when I left and he decided to ditch. He's always maintained that it's healthy to ditch class occasionally." Bella's words made me relax completely. At least I had another couple of days to sort my thoughts. Little did I know that by the time I saw Edward again, the least of my worries would be the Cullen puzzle.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The flyer on the corkboard would never have caught my attention if I hadn't been looking for a place to stick up an invitation to the glee club's mid-semester concert. The thumb tack I'd been holding hit the floor and the flyer in my hand fluttered after it. I didn't remember running back to my dorm room, but I found myself curled up on my bed having a fairly impressive panic attack. It was a good ten minutes before I trusted myself enough to speak coherently. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and called Fran.

"Raoul is coming here."

Fran had been completely shocked. She asked me for the details and I forced myself to get back up and go down to the dorm lobby to look at the flyer again. After giving her the date, she hung up and I retreated to my room again. Raoul was my brother, my older brother. My mentor, my teacher, my savior. He was eight years older than I was and he was as much of a music genius as I was, he'd just never flaunted it. He was a piano teacher at the University of Colorado. Or he had been until tragedy had stunned us both. Now he was traveling the country doing an artist series at various universities. A Christine Farlow artist series. A tribute to the sister that had disappeared into thin air. Most media speculated that I was dead, but some of them had their story straight. I was in hiding, afraid for my life. Not even my brother knew where I was.

It was Sunday afternoon and I had the urge to call Renesmee. She was my friend, someone that knew everything about me. Perhaps not the little details, but she was in the loop. My hand shook as I flipped open my phone and scrolled to her number. I hesitated for a moment, but I finally got up the nerve to call. I got her voicemail and very nearly cried. I hung up without leaving a message. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and decided I needed some fresh air. I pulled on a pair of hiking boots and headed for my car. There were some trails the Outing Club had suggested a few miles out of town. I found a small parking area just off the scenic route out of town and pulled in. It was overcast, so I pulled the light rain jacket from my back seat and tied it around my waist before setting off.

I don't really remember the hike beyond the memory of being hot and breathless for the duration. Renesmee and I had done a few short hikes during our free afternoons, but we had always gone at a fairly leisurely pace. Not for Nessie's sake, but for mine. I wasn't exactly in great shape, something I'd been meaning to remedy this semester.

Today, I climbed further than Nessie and I had ever gone, leaving one of the nature trails to follow a faint path that lead up the side of one of the mountains. I was beyond thinking at this point, uncaring if I got lost in the wilderness. I was just holding onto the numbing fire in my muscles and the scorch of hot air in my lungs as I pushed my limits. I stumbled once or twice over roots and slipped on a bit of loose rock, but I picked myself up and moved on.

I don't know how long it was before I came to the top of the trail, noticing only because the trees disappeared and the dirt path became rock with some hearty shrubs and spearmint plants growing defiantly in the thin, cool air. I walked along the summit, careful of my footing, and found a flat, cool stone to rest on.

I spent the next few minutes calming my heart and cooling down, my eyes drinking in the view of the wide valley below me. I was able to concentrate on that for a long while, keeping thoughts of my brother at bay. It didn't work for long. In the back of my mind, I knew I'd come up here to do something I hadn't ever allowed myself to do. To grieve.

The first tears fell silently, streaking down my cheeks one at a time. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, burying my face in the soft, worn denim of my jeans. I let the memories flood me, the dark horror of my recent past. The loss of my parents was the hardest to bear, the one thing I had truly repressed. I hadn't been allowed to attend their funeral, something I would never forgive the FBI for.

They had insisted I see a shrink, of course. No one, they said, lived through what I had without having serious psychological trauma. It had worried Fran that I never cried, never spoke of my family or my friends from Colorado. The psychiatrist they'd brought in hadn't gotten very far with me. I often wondered what he'd told Fran after our sessions. No doubt he'd rejoice if he could see me now, letting my grief take over all conscious thought.

As I remembered the night my parents were killed, I shattered. The sobs ripped through my body in violent spasms and I couldn't control my hitched breathing or the groans that shuddered into my knees. My family had been murdered in front of me by a man whose face I had never seen. Yet his voice was forever seared into my psyche. For months it had overshadowed every piece of music I tried to create, threading through it like a cancer until I had despaired of ever being free of his influence.

I forced myself to remember my family before that terrible night, remembering the happier times with my parents, with my brother. It didn't ease the pain, but I wanted to grieve for what I had lost, not rage against the vision of death that night had forever branded on my soul.

I sobbed myself sick. I had always thought that was impossible and that people who claimed to have done that were just being melodramatic. But the combination of my violent grief and the unaccustomed exercise upset my internal balance and I found myself kneeling beside my perch, retching between bouts of weeping. It was then that I became aware that I was not alone. Before I could give into the urge to crawl behind the rock I'd been sitting on, he spoke.

"Christine." The pain in his voice slammed into my heart as I raised my head. Daniel was on his knees a few feet from me, his face twisted by the same emotions that were still raging within me. Just seeing him there, I should have been terrified. It was too much of coincidence that he was here, on this trail with me.

"Renesmee called. She was worried, so I tracked you." His quiet words eased the hysteria that had been rising in my gut. I remembered then that he wasn't human. I still didn't know what he and the Cullen's were, but I realized it didn't matter. I wanted, no needed, to be close to him. As if he could read my mind, he was suddenly by my side. He had moved so quickly that I hadn't seen the movement. Ignoring the delicate tingle of my sixth sense, I fell into his cool embrace.

He held me gently against his stone hard chest, as if he were afraid I would break if he moved wrong. I wept against the thin cotton of his t-shirt, uncaring that I left him wet and covered in grime. He murmured softly against my hair, comforting words that wrapped around my heart like a balm.

How long we stayed on top of the mountain, I couldn't really say. As I calmed, I began to notice how dark it was getting and how cool the air was. I couldn't suppress a shiver. He immediately moved to put me back on the rock I had been curled up on before, but I tightened my arms around him.

"No, please. The rock won't be any warmer." I lifted my face as I spoke. He stiffened, becoming as still as a marble statue. I drank in the sight of his beautiful face. His eyebrows were dark, graceful slashes above his golden eyes, his nose perfect and his lips full. Right now, those lips were pressed tightly together.

"Yes, but the rock is safer." He hissed from between clenched teeth. My danger sense flared in perfect sync with his ragged intake of breath. I realized two things that I had only noticed vaguely as I'd cried myself out in his arms. First, his chest didn't rise and fall in a natural rythym. In fact, it rarely ever rose unless he was speaking. And second, the man had no heart beat. My own heart stuttered to a stop as another piece of the puzzle snapped into place. Suddenly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer seemed more and more feasible as my starting place. When Daniel tried to put me down this time, I let my arms slide away.

"Safer." I echoed his sentiment as he stepped back, the pained expression on his face no longer an echo of mine but one he usually wore whenever I was too close. As if his control were being tested to its limits. He sucked in another breath and the expression deepened before he spoke.

"What happened?" I knew he meant what had triggered my grief. I dropped my eyes and sighed softly. I could tell him. He knew who I was and he cared enough that he'd followed me to the top of a mountain to make sure I was okay. Though why Nessie had called Daniel was a mystery, especially when I hadn't even left her a message.

"My brother is coming to Dartmouth in three weeks. I haven't seen him since the night my parents were killed. I still don't know if I'll be allowed to see him. I've never really let myself dwell on what happened to my family." My voice broke on the last word.

"Do you want to see your brother?" Daniel's voice was quiet, rough. But he dove into the middle of the situation and asked the most important question. I simply nodded, a single tear trickling down my cheek. I thought I couldn't possibly have any tears left, but I felt another chase the first.

"Why can't you?" Daniel asked, his tone confused. I sighed and brushed my cheeks with angry fingers.

"Because the FBI thinks the stalker will be watching him. If I try to contact Raoul, he could find me again. So I spend my entire life isolated from my only family just to keep myself safe from a man that they might never catch. He stole my family from me, my life, my ability to feel safe, my music. Everything that made me who I was. For almost six months, I wished I had died that night with my parents."

"Something changed." Daniel wasn't asking a question. He could tell from my tone that I no longer wished for death. That's why I had broken here, tonight, because I realized I had to live, that I _wanted_ to live on without my parents.

"Renesmee happened. The Cullens happened. You happened. My music is pure again, I feel safe again. Or I did until I learned Raoul was coming. It brought everything rushing back. I remembered the feel of that evil man's hot breath against my face and I lost everything again. I hate feeling this way! I want to tear his soul from his body and make him feel what he made me feel. I want him to know fear, terror…" I was crying again, but they were angry tears. I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth. Daniel leaned forward and laid a cool hand on my knee. I looked into his eyes and saw the echo of my pain and anger again. I saw just a hint of the violence he was capable of shining from his beautiful eyes.

"I promise you, I will never let him near you again. But something must be done to draw him out, Christine, or he will never be caught. Men that do these things, they will move on to another victim if they bore of the chase. Trust me, I know. I used to hunt men like him." This was the longest speech Daniel had ever made to me. My heart leapt joyfully. He wanted to keep me safe. I didn't miss the allusion to a darker side of his life, however. Was he in law enforcement? Was he in the military? Were he and the Cullens some strange kind of assassin the government had created? Strange, undead assassins? But where did Renesmee fit into all of this?

"I agree with you, but the FBI are more concerned with my safety than the actual capture. They are sure they can catch him without exposing me. Maybe, maybe not. But I want this over. I'm sick of feeling hunted and I don't want some other poor woman to have to live through my own personal hell."

"Drawing him out does not have to mean exposing you. I agree with them. Your safety is the most important thing. Can you tell me what you know about him?" He wanted details. I was perfectly willing to share them, but getting off the mountain was my first priority. The sky was turning dark so I reasoned the sun must be almost set. I was going to have to hike back down the mountain in the dark. I grimaced. I was cold, damp and the taste of bile still lingered in my mouth. I glanced back towards the trail. Daniel seemed to read my mind.

"I guess we need to get you back to your car. How do you feel about a quick jog down the mountain?" His smile was wicked. Just the way he said that made me wary. Before I could ask, he stepped forward and scooped me into his arms, swinging me around to his back. I clung to him, my arms in a choke hold around his neck and my legs around his hips.

"Daniel?" Was that my voice? It sounded a little shrill. Daniel laughed and then he began to run. I buried my face in his back, sure that any moment we would go head over heels like a giant, out of control snowball. But there was no disastrous fall, no missed beat in his step. If I hadn't felt the wind in my hair or heard the rush of passing foliage, I would have believed he was strolling smoothly along. I risked a peek and gasped as the forest blurred past at a terrifying rate of speed. I groaned and tucked my head against his back again. His back didn't move against my face. How could he run like this and not be sucking in huge amounts of oxygen?

When he stopped, I thought he might just be trying to get his bearings or might have run up to a drop off. I peeked again and my eyes widened. We were at my car.

"Alright, I think I'm going to pass out now." I felt Daniel stiffen as he swung me back around into his arms. There was just enough light left for me to make out his concerned expression. I laughed weakly and he rolled his eyes, putting me back on my feet. His hands hovered about my waist until I took a couple of unsteady steps to regain my balance. I turned and looked up at him once I was sure I wouldn't fall flat on my face.

"You're incredible, do you know that?" The words slipped out before I could censor myself and I watched his face harden into that pained expression again. He shook his head and gestured towards the car.

"Your chariot…" He didn't finish the thought, but I doubted it was because I frightened him with the murderous look I shot him. Instead, his expression smoothed out as he made a suggestion. "Maybe you should go back to the dorm, get a hot shower and call Nessie. She's worried sick. Then you and I can get together tomorrow after class and you can give me the rundown on this stalker of yours."

"Um, okay. Where is your car?" I looked around, but I didn't see another vehicle. Daniel's beautiful mouth curved up again.

"I really don't need a car. I can get home quicker running a straight line." I nodded hesitantly, still shocked that he had shown me this side of himself. I remembered my run with Bella the night I'd gone to the Cullens' home. I had been unconscious for most of that run, so it had been easier to wonder if I'd just imagined it. Yes, I very much needed to talk to Renesmee. I climbed into my car and started the engine. Daniel stood and waited until I put the car in gear and turned back onto the road. My sigh was forlorn as I left him behind, thinking it might be the last time he ever allowed me as close as we had been today.

Once I got home, I did as Daniel suggested. I took a hot shower and then used the pay phone in the deserted third floor common area. I knew my room and my cell phone were bugged, so this was the best place to have this conversation. Nessie answered on the first ring.

"Chris! Are you okay? I was so worried when Aunt Alice said…" she trailed off. I wondered what Alice could possibly have to do with my hike today. Nessie hesitated so I answered her first question.

"I'm fine, Nessie. Well, not fine, exactly, but I'm safe."

"Ah, Daniel found you! I was so worried. I was afraid you'd get lost up there after dark." She sounded so relieved I couldn't help but smile, despite the questions her comments stirred up in my mind.

"How exactly did he find me, Nessie? I mean, I didn't tell anyone where I was going. Not that I'm not grateful, but I…I'm really tired of trying to piece together this puzzle with only half the pieces and no picture to use for reference." Nessie sighed and I waited patiently for her answer. It wasn't very satisfying when it came.

"Can we please just talk about what upset you today?" Her voice was pleading and sad. A group of girls suddenly spilled into the common room, talking loudly and toting a bag of movie rentals and a bowl of popcorn. I sighed.

"I'm really tired, Nessie, and its not something I can talk about on the phone. I promise we'll talk tomorrow." Nessie wasn't satisfied but we said our goodbyes. I hadn't lied when I said I was tired, but I had a hard time getting to sleep that night. When my alarm woke me at a quarter of six, I actually considered unplugging it and sleeping the day away. But I knew I couldn't. I had my weekly breakfast meeting with Fran and this one would be important. So I dragged myself out of bed and into the first set of clean clothes my hands touched.

"The concert is on Wednesday night. We'll move you to a safe location for the entire week. You're physical appearance has changed but we don't want someone to notice the family resemblance and blow the whole operation." Fran was outlining the 'plan' for my brother's arrival. I just listened, pushing a bite of waffle around on my plate until she seemed finished with her speech. Then I started in on the questions.

"I can't believe the concert schedule managed to get past you without you noticing it. I thought you were keeping an eye on my brother. He's in as much danger as I am, isn't he?" I had stopped asking questions a few months ago since I never got a straight answer from anyone I asked them to. But Daniel wanted details and I wanted to know exactly where the investigation stood. Fran looked surprised and then panicked. She mumbled something non-commental and stuffed her mouth full of pancakes. So I tried a different question.

"So, what is being done to draw out the stalker?"

"I'm sure he will slip up eventually, and when he does we'll be ready." Fran's panic seemed to ebb as I asked what must have been an easier question. One that she had a ready answer for - the same answer I'd been given four months ago. I wasn't going to let it go this time.

"What, when he decides to fixate on some other poor girl? Or if he decides my brother knows something and tries to torture it out of him? Why should someone else pay the price while I hide? I've read enough about criminal profiling to know these kinds of people don't just stop their obsessive, violent behavior. He's out there, somewhere, and I want him caught. If that means sticking me out there as bait, so be it." Fran looked positively floored. I had never taken an aggressive stance when it came to the investigation. Times were changing.

"Um...I don't think that's a good idea, Chrissy." I waited for Fran to elaborate on why it wasn't a good idea, but she didn't. She was suddenly looking around for our waitress, obviously in a hurry to get the check. I wasn't about to let her off that easily.

"Why isn't it a good idea? I'm sick of hiding. I want to see my brother again. We lost our parents, Fran! My parents are dead and my brother and I can't even comfort each other." I kept my voice low, but I leaned forward over the table, hoping she could read the anger and despair I knew was etched into my face. Fran hunched her shoulders a bit, as if trying to hide from my glare.

"Your brother agreed with what we're doing. He wants you to stay safe." She was parroting herself again, telling me something that they had repeated over and over again those first couple of months.

"What good is being safe if I can't be myself? I might as well have died that day, Fran. I want my life back. I'm tired of pretending. Just how high a priority is my case right now? Or am I just another case file gathering dust in some cabinet." I narrowed my eyes as I asked this and was horrified when I saw Fran wince. I had been trying to provoke another 'We're on top of things' response, but instead she confirmed my worst fears.

"That's it, isn't it? I'm just a babysitting job for you. A waste of the government's money and my life while we wait for him to either attack again or fade into obscurity." My voice shook with anger. It was better to be angry, because I refused to cry in front of this woman.

"There's a hotline. The case is reviewed every week for new leads. We're doing what we can, Christine." Fran seemed at a loss now, wringing the paper napkin to bits in her hand. I sat back in my seat, unsure what to say, what to do now. This was getting me nowhere.

"I want a copy of my case file, Fran. Is that possible?" Fran looked shocked and then her face settled into a disapproving frown.

"No, that's not possible, I'm sorry." She finally managed to flag down a waitress and I fumed silently while she handed the woman enough cash to cover the meal. She didn't give me a chance to pursue my line of questioning. She stood up and grabbed her purse.

"You're going to be late for class, Chrissy. I'll talk to you again next Monday." She rushed out of the restaurant, leaving me with a half finished plate of waffles and a bitter taste in the back of my mouth.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Renesmee and I spent our afternoon curled up on a blanket on the Green, munching popcorn and talking.

"My brother is coming to Dartmouth in three weeks. It was a shock, I guess. I went for a hike and ended up crying myself sick. It just hit me really hard. I miss my parents so much. And my brother. I want so bad to see him, but I don't think I can." I explained the situation to Nessie like I had to Daniel, managing to keep my composure this time. Nessie was as adamant as Daniel that I should be able to see my brother. I smiled at her understanding nature. After that, she seemed to realize I needed to keep things light for a while, before I spent the evening giving Daniel a blow by blow account of my stalker's actions.

Nessie officially asked me to her birthday party, finally. I was excited about that because I would finally get to meet the rest of her family. Her Aunt Alice, who seemed to know when I was going to get into trouble that even I was unaware of, and her husband, Jasper. Her Aunt Rosalie, who she spoke of often and obviously missed quite a bit and Rose's husband Emmett, who always made her laugh. Then there were Carlisle and Esme, who were supposedly Nessie's foster parents.

"The party is this Saturday. I was wondering if maybe we could make it a sleepover?" Nessie tried so hard to act like an adult sometimes, but there were times when she was obviously young. I was struck again by the fact that she had no real friends outside of her close, loving family. I felt a little inadequate to be her first real girl friend, but I wanted to try and be a good one. So I agreed readily to spending the night at the Cullen's. Not that it was a hardship to spend time with Nessie or with her family. Maybe I would get a few more pieces to my puzzle.

When we finally walked into class an hour later, I grinned at Edward. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Super secret government assassins?" He threw back his head and laughed. Some of our classmates glanced towards our table with curious expressions. They never approached us, though. Something about Edward and Bella, and even Daniel, seemed to repel people as much as it fascinated them. I sighed and slid into my chair.

"You just wait." I finished my threat in my head. _Someday soon, I'm going to come up with the right answer and you'll wish you hadn't laughed so hard at all the wrong ones. _Edward's mouth turned down into a grimace and I grinned happily. I pulled out my notebook and folded my latest assignment length-wise like Daniel preferred them. When Daniel walked into the classroom, I looked up to gauge his attitude. For the first time in the history of the class, he didn't head straight to the front of the room.

"Hi, Chris. How are you?" He used the excuse of gathering the homework assignment to pause at our table. He tilted his head at me and smiled. My heart fluttered. His smile widened and I shrugged.

"Right now, I'm fine." Which was the truth. It remained true through the rest of class. As I was gathering my things and shoving them back into my backpack, Renesmee and Bella made their goodbyes. Evidently Edward was going to hang out with Daniel and I. Renesmee had probably wanted to come. The thought of talking about the blackest time in my life in front of Renesmee made me shudder, but Nessie looked dejected. I leaned in and hugged her.

"I can't wait for Saturday. I'm counting the days. I can't wait to meet your parents." I flicked a glance at Edward then and noticed his shocked expression. I'm sure he'd caught my thoughts labeling him as Nessie's father. And Bella as her mother. His expression pretty much confirmed that suspicion beyond a shadow of a doubt. I turned my attention back to Nessie. My comment seemed to cheer her a little. At Bella's suggestion, I walked them to their car. It wouldn't do for people to see me walking out with Edward and Daniel.

After Bella and Nessie left, I realized I had no idea where I was supposed to go next. I was about to pull out my cell phone and call Nessie to ask, but suddenly Daniel was there at my elbow. I nearly dropped my cell phone in surprise and pressed my hand against my thudding heart. I glared at him and he smiled apologetically, stepping back a couple of paces and gesturing behind him.

"My car's in the faculty lot." I walked beside him, noticing that he held himself carefully away from me, hands in his pockets. He wasn't breathing again.

"I don't bite, you know." I said in a teasing tone, hoping to start a conversation with him before we got to his car, where I was fairly certain Edward would be waiting for us. I wanted some time alone with him without Edward hearing my every thought. My words seemed to be the wrong ones, though, because he stopped and turned slowly to face me. His face wore a frightening expression, his lips pulled back from his teeth in snarl. It was the same look he'd worn the first day of class as Edward and Bella had dragged me out. My danger sense slammed into me, taking my breath away.

"I do. Never forget that Christine. For your sake and mine." Those words came out in a soft growl. I was frozen in place, just staring into his golden eyes like a rabbit caught in an unbreakable snare. I watched him take a deep breath and close his eyes. I relaxed when those piercing eyes left mine, but he stood rigid. The alarm I'd felt was replaced with concern.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I know something about me causes you pain. I wish…is there anything I can do to help?" His eyes snapped open and he looked at me with surprise etched into his face. I was glad, since it erased some of the pain. He reached up hesitantly, his cool fingers brushing the side of my face. I resisted the urge to lean into them, for fear he would pull away. My skin tingled and my heart raced. So this was what it felt like to _desire_ someone.

"Have you no sense of self preservation?" Daniel's question sounded a bit strangled. I sighed softly.

"Oh, yes. I have a very good sense of when something's dangerous, Daniel." I was truthful. He shook his head, his fingers trailing down my cheek and along my jaw. I sighed softly and let my eyes drift closed. The sense of danger was fading now, with each stroke of his hard, cold skin along my own.

"Then you should have run screaming the first time you saw me. You should be screaming now, not letting me touch you." His words were confused. I felt one side of my mouth lift in a wry smile.

"I might have that first day. But not now. How can I truly fear a man that let me cry all over him?" His fingers traced my lips as I spoke, barely touching. I resisted the urge to kiss his fingertips. He drew back and I sighed. He echoed the sound.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't…your pain was so deep I needed to comfort you. It overrode the need…" Daniel trailed off. The need for what, my mind screamed, but I didn't ask aloud. In my heart, I knew the answer was both what I needed to solve my puzzle and yet, I knew the answer would be frightening. Daniel turned away and began walking again. We went the rest of the way to his car in silence. Edward was waiting, perched on the hood of the Lexus.

As I usually did when I didn't want Edward meddling in my thoughts, I was composing music. It always caused a little furrow between his brows that I thought was very endearing. I wondered idly what music sounded like to him, inside his head. Was it like humming? I didn't ponder it long, because I was working out a complicated measure or four in my head. Daniel opened the passenger side door for me and I slid onto the warm leather seat. I buckled my seat belt and looked up, not exactly surprised to find both men already inside the car.

"So, where to?" I asked softly, pushing thought of my composition aside. My thoughts were safely centered on the conversation to come now. Daniel grinned lazily and raked a glance over my powder blue tank top and cut off blue jeans. It had been a nice, warm day.

"Well, I had considered a hike, but since you aren't dressed for it, I suppose we'll have to make do with my house. Edward said you didn't want Renesmee to hear most of this and I agree. She may not be a typical girl, but she's still too young to realize just how evil some humans can be. I'd hate to be the one to steal her rose colored glasses." Edward snorted from the back seat.

"She knows how to use the internet, Daniel. She knows enough about the situation that she's already mortified. But yeah, I don't want her to hear the worst of this. I'm more worried about you being able to keep your temper, Dan." His voice ended on a quiet note. He'd been in my thoughts enough to have a deeper understanding of my nightmares than most people. His last comment sent a tingle up my spine. I had never seen Daniel truly angry and I knew without a doubt that I didn't want to.

"So, what do you want to know?" I figured we might as well get started now. Daniel asked questions and I answered them as he drove along. Occasionally Edward would ask a question or two, but it was mostly Daniel. His interrogation was similar enough to some of the first sessions I'd had with Marcus Franks that I wondered if my thought about Daniel being in law enforcement was close to the truth. Only a person with a background in hunting criminals would think to ask some of the questions he asked.

When we pulled up to Daniel's home, I looked out the windows for the first time. Daniel drove like Bella, entirely too fast. My danger sense never seemed to ping in regards to their driving, however. It was hard to convince my brain that driving over a hundred miles an hour up a winding mountain road was safe, though. Best not to think about it.

Daniel's home was a cabin in the woods. Literally. It wasn't a small, one room, moss-for-chinking cabin, however. Even in the dark, it loomed over the grassy front yard - two stories with darker squares that were probably windows. Lots of windows. As Daniel escorted me onto the smoothly sanded porch that wrapped around the entire cabin, I admired the porch swing. It was made of heavy wood, but in the soft light from the electric lanterns on either side of the front door I could see that it was carved with a mountain landscape complete with deer and bear. The door to the cabin seemed to continue the theme on the swing with a beautifully carved waterfall. How anyone could have the talent to make wood tell such a beautiful story was mind blowing.

"I think she's impressed, Dan. I can't wait until she sees the back porch." Edward's comments made me look up at Daniel and to my surprise the man looked _embarrassed_.

"You did this?" I asked quietly, my hands tracing lightly over texture of the exquisitely frozen waterfall. He nodded and jerked the door open, his hand against the small of my back as he pushed me into the living space. The bottom floor was brightly lit and open. There were no walls, really, just thick log columns every few feet, support for the second floor. I could tell some of the columns had carvings on them. I hoped I would have time later to examine them. The light wood floors were polished smooth and there were colorful rugs scattered about the space. The front of the room had vaulted, beamed ceilings. The second floor only covered the back half of the house, reached by a staircase that hugged the far right-hand wall. There was a balcony that ran the entire width of the house. I wondered if the upper floor was as open as the bottom.

"I'll start a fire. Make yourself at home." Daniel moved gracefully towards the large stone fireplace in the cozy looking sitting area in the front corner of the room. I wandered around the room while he laid in a fire, running my hand over all the beautiful carvings, the smooth curves of all wooden furniture, the soft texture of the blankets that were thrown casually over the back of a couple of the chairs. There was an exquisite, spotless kitchen at the back of the first floor with a large breakfast nook encased on three sides by windows looking out over the back yard. It was too dark to make out much but I could see a wide deck, what I thought was probably patio furniture and a wide moonlit expanse of grass that ran back towards the forest.

"Chris?" Daniel called from across the house and I turned with a disappointed sigh. I would much rather examine his beautiful home than talk about the horrors of my past. They were serious about helping me find my stalker, however, and that was enough to motivate me forward. I settled into the chair nearest the fireplace, curling my legs up under me on the wide, overstuffed cushion. Edward sat across from me and Daniel stood several feet away, standing motionless as he fired more questions at me. The impersonal tone and speed of them made it easier for me shut down my emotions and answer him in detail.

It wasn't until Daniel asked me exactly what the monster had done once he'd killed my parents and had me all to himself that I broke, unable to speak through my trembling reaction. I had never been able to answer this one. The FBI had photos, rape kit results and medical records that detailed everything, so I had never really had to tell anyone in detail before. The shrink had shown me those pictures once in frustration, trying to evoke a response. I had emptied my breakfast on his shoes and had refused to ever talk to him again.

"Daniel." Edward's voice held a warning. Evidently my memory of that day was sharp enough he was able to catch most of it in my mind. He spoke to Daniel in that incredibly fast, soft undertone that he often used with Bella. No human being would ever have been able to hear anything he was saying. Daniel obviously did, however, because I watched his impersonal mask slip into a feral snarl. He suddenly looked like a monster, a nightmare from the worst side of horror. It was horrible to see. My danger sense didn't even tingle, however. I looked away, breathing evenly to slow my racing heart. This anger wasn't for me and I certainly didn't pity the man who had evoked it.

"Edward, take Chris home." The words were hissed between tightly clenched teeth. My eyes flashed back to Daniel. I only caught a glimpse of his back as he disappeared at near blinding speed out the back door. The door had cracked ominously when he'd gone through it and I thought it might be hanging at an odd angle. My eyes widened and I looked at Edward questioningly. His expression was grim and there was murder in his eyes. He was angry as well, but he had it under control.

"Barely. Daniel…has gone hunting. Come on. I'll take you home." His voice was quiet, but I thought there was a quiver behind the words. These two men felt strongly about the events that had nearly killed me, had ruined my life. I knew it was an odd response, but I felt comforted.

"If Nessie has her way, you'll practically be family by Christmas. Dangerous as that is for you, I think it's better than leaving you to fight your demons alone. We're going to find him, Christine. We'll figure out a plan to draw the man out." Edward led me from the house and we stood on the porch for a moment as I thought about what he said. Fran was going to freak.

"Fran doesn't have to know. It would be safer for everyone involved if the FBI doesn't know we're taking such an interest in you. Daniel says your dorm room and your car are bugged. Your cell phone is being monitored. If you care about Nessie or any of us, you'll be very careful what you say to Fran about us." I nodded. I didn't want to endanger the lives of the few friends I had. I had a vague idea of what the government would do if they could get their hands on the Cullen family. I shuddered. Edward chuckled softly.

"They would never catch us, Chris. But thank you for the concern."

"Maybe not, but then I would never see you again. That would be unforgiveable." I glanced at him. "Please tell me we're borrowing Daniel's car?"

"What, you don't like running with us?" His voice was mildly amused. I growled at him and crossed my arms over my chest. He muttered something under his breath and shook the keys in his hand.

"Daniel gave me his keys. Besides, it's harder to chat while we're running. There are still some things we need to discuss. Like how you've come to your conclusion about my relationship to Nessie." His voice hardened a little. I crinkled my nose at him.

"Don't blame Nessie. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time and overheard her." I replayed that day outside of class in my head. He actually looked sheepish. I snorted.

"See, freaky non-humans aren't the only ones with sharp hearing. Not that I was completely convinced until you brought it up." I grinned at him and flounced off the porch towards the car. I heard him groan behind me before following. After we were settled and the car was in motion, I turned to him.

"So, do I get to ask you questions now?" I was excited, hoping that he might give me more puzzle pieces. His expression stopped my enthusiasm, however.

"Chris, you're better off not knowing. Safer, for you and for us. The less you know…" He trailed off and I sighed.

"The less someone can torture out of me?" I guessed with a painful grimace.

"The less likely someone will decide you know too much and you become a menu item." His words shivered down my spine like ice. Okay, that was a puzzle piece I hadn't had before. Then again, Daniel's comment about biting me earlier fit with this one. So, his kind ate humans? Okay, that caused my heart falter and skip erratically. My gaze was glued to Edward's face, which wore an odd expression. How could someone look satisfied and horrified all at the same time?

"Some of them do." I was glad he was kind enough to clarify that. Not that I was truly worried about him or Bella eating me. His expression smoothed out.

"And why is that?" His tone was conversational. I sat back with a laugh.

"Well, duh. Nessie would be devastated if you ate me."


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

I looked down at the list I had made. I had put my puzzle pieces down on paper.

1. Pale, Cold Skin

2. Eyes that change from black to gold

3. Super Strength

4. Super Speed

5. Psychic Powers

6. Superhuman senses

7. Parents to a seemingly human child who they look no more than 5 years older than

8. People Eaters, some of them (And is it actually flesh, or just the blood? Gross, gross, gross.)

My list wasn't really complete, but I had wanted to write it down and see if that rang any bells. I had done some searching online and so far my best options were zombies and vampires. The only reason zombies was an option was because the Cullen's didn't have fangs and I had seen Daniel out during the day. Granted it had been overcast. But zombies were made from dead people, rotting corpses. Vampires were made from living, breathing human beings. At least that's what the legends said. How much could I believe of what I read online? So, I was leaning towards vampires. Then again, maybe the Cullen's and Daniel were so unique, you couldn't label them.

Only time would tell. Edward was worried about my safety, but I already knew enough to get myself into to trouble. I was too curious for my own good, I supposed. So I folded my list and tucked it into my pocket. I checked my hair, which was down today and curling around my shoulders. I smoothed my emerald green blouse over my white jeans and shoved my sunglasses on my face. I had removed my contacts. For tonight and tomorrow, I was Christine Farlow, not Chrissy Radcliffe. I was going to enjoy it. I grabbed the gift bag from the chair by the bed, my overnight bag from the floor and headed out of the dorm.

I was riding with Daniel to the party tonight, since I doubted I could have made it to the Cullen's home on my own. His car was idling at the curb when I pushed out the side door of the dorm. I didn't hesitate before opening the door and sliding onto the seat beside him. I had talked to him two more times this week about my stalker and other things. He had been in perfect control of himself those two times, though he hadn't touched me beyond brief, seemingly accidental touches. I noticed that his eyes, usually a dark gold, had been a light amber.

On Wednesday before our class he had focused on what the FBI had found out about the man haunting my nightmares. It had been raining out so we had spent the afternoon in his office. On Thursday evening we were back at his house and I'd been delighted when he asked me about my music. He had a baby grand of his own, which he confessed to playing 'a little'. I played him the song I had created for Nessie and in return, he let me watch him work on the piece he was making for Nessie's birthday, a flower of some kind. His hands had moved fluidly, almost too fast to see the individual movements as shavings of wood snowed to the floor. His talent left me speechless.

"You look beautiful." Daniel gave me a bright smile as I buckled my seat belt. His face was smooth and free of pain today. His eyes tightened a bit when he inhaled, but his serene expression stayed intact. I ducked my head at his comment, fighting back a blush.

"Thank you, Daniel. You look rather smashing yourself." And it was true. His pale blue silk shirt was a nice contrast to his black slacks. I made it a habit to always check what he was wearing at least once. Most of the time, my gaze was permanently attached to his expressive face. Or his hands, which made me wish I was an artist so I could draw them. Since I didn't like watching the road while he drove, I spent a great deal of time examining those hands and the ring he wore. Most people might mistake it for a fancy class ring, but I had seen enough jewelry in my life to recognize a family signet ring when I saw it. It was the kind of ring that might have been used to seal letters with wax seals in the eighteenth or nineteenth century. The design was a sword with a rose wrapped around the blade with some rather spectacular enamel work.

As we drove to the Cullen's, Daniel asked me questions about my family. Not stalker related questions, but questions about my childhood. He wanted to know what kind of friends I'd had growing up, if I had any pets, what my favorite toy had been. The questions all seemed so random, but I realized he was trying to get to know me better. I answered the questions readily, hoping that someday soon, he would return the favor and let me ask him questions. By the time we pulled up in front of the house, I had almost forgotten where we were going. Almost.

"Ready?" Daniel asked me softly. I had been excited all day, but for some reason, now I was nervous. What if they didn't like me? What if one of Renesmee's beautiful family members _did_ eat humans. Edward hadn't really specified. He'd just said _some_. I took a deep breath to steady myself and turned to smile at Daniel.

"As I'll ever be." He reached over then, lifting my hand off the seat between us in his hard, smooth fingers. The cold didn't really register on my skin this time, only a tingle of awareness as he pulled our hands up to his face. He very slowly touched the back of my hand to his cheek. I heard him take a deep breath through his nose. We sat very still, our eyes locked as he gently turned his head and placed a cool kiss on my knuckles. I suddenly felt incredibly lightheaded. Breathing wasn't optional for the human. I sucked in an unsteady breath and he dropped my hand. The pained look was back in his eyes, but his smile was brilliant, as if he had managed a near impossible feat.

"Good, let's go before Renesmee decides we're taking too long and sends the wolves after us." I laughed, wondering at his choice of words. I glanced at the porch and sure enough, Nessie stood there with Jacob by her side. There were two other tall young people behind them that I had never met. This must be Seth and Leah. Nessie had spoken often of them. I pushed out of the car and before I could reach back in for my things, Daniel was there with my overnight bag and two giftbags hanging from his fingers.

"I've got them. Go." His words seemed to be a trigger. Nessie was off the porch, launching herself at me before I could step forward. I caught her in a hug that sent us both stumbling backwards. Daniel's hard body served to keep us upright and I laughed breathlessly.

"Nessie, happy birthday, sweetheart." She smiled up at me.

"I'm so glad you came! Everyone is dying to meet you. Did you bring your pajamas? All us girls are going to stay up all night. We'll do each other's hair and eat junk food and watch sappy romantic movies." She grabbed my hand and literally pulled me towards the house. I grinned at Jacob, who chuckled and rolled his eyes a bit.

"This is Seth and Leah. Seth and Leah, this is Christine." Nessie paused on the porch to introduce Jacob's friends. I smiled shyly, ignoring the tingles that danced along my spine as Leah eyed me warily. Her gaze kept dancing between me and Daniel and I wondered if she'd noticed our brief moment in the car. I decided I really didn't care if she had and turned towards Seth. He was the more friendly of the two, reaching out to shake my hand.

"Nice to meet you. Nessie talks about you constantly. It's good she's found a friend at school." I noticed that his hand was very warm, like Nessie's and Jacob's. I didn't have time to dwell on this because Nessie was already pulling me through the door, which Daniel was holding open. The first thing I noticed about the inside of the house was the multitude of pink and green decorations. Fresh pink roses, pink crepe paper streamers, and a sparkling pink and green 'Happy Birthday' sign hung from over the fireplace. In the background, very softly, there was music playing. It was something I hadn't heard before, something that sounded very techno.

I noticed several people around the room, all doing various mundane things. Edward and Bella stepped forward to greet me, hand in hand. I gave them a bright smile and eyeballed Edward. His eyes widened in disbelief mingled with mirth.

"Zombies?!" His laughter echoed around the room, causing heads to turn our way. I grinned and shrugged, carefully not thinking of my other option. I would save that one for later. Instead I began to think how much I wanted to meet the rest of the family. Bella punched Edward in the gut as he continued to chuckle. She hissed something at him and he snorted softly one time before he controlled his mirth.

"Come, meet the family." Renesmee dragged me away from her parents and towards the couple standing in front of the fireplace, watching me curiously. They both gave me brilliant smiles as I approached, completely at ease in my presence. I had seen a picture of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, but I had assumed the picture must be an older one. They didn't look a day older than those photos. Okay, so the Cullen's didn't age. Once whatever happened to turn them into beautiful, pale marble angels, they stopped aging. That would explain why Nessie's parents didn't look old enough to be her parents. I shifted that piece into the puzzle mentally.

"Wonderful to meet you, Christine. Nessie talks about you so fondly. Thank you for befriending her." Esme stepped forward gathered my hands gently in her own. "I heard about your family. I am so very sorry." Carlisle stepped forward and wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and seconded her condolences. I nodded with a wavering smile.

"Thank you." I answered them quietly before Renesmee dragged me on to the next couple. She dropped my hand and launched herself at the beautiful, blond haired angel that was her Aunt Rosalie. Her picture didn't do her justice. She gathered Nessie into a hug, her smile serene. She dropped a kiss on the girl's nose and then turned to greet me.

"Hello, Chris." Her voice was gentle and friendly, but there was wariness in her eyes that I had been expecting from everyone in the family. My danger sense tingled, but since I was in the middle of a room full of creatures who under different circumstances might be sizing me up as a snack, it was to be expected. I gave Rosalie a shy smile and nodded.

"Nice to meet you, Rosalie. Nessie talks about you so much. She misses you like crazy." Rosalie's expression eased a little and she ruffled Nessie's hair. The younger girl ducked out from under her aunt's hand and climbed Rosalie's husband like a tree.

"Hi, I'm Emmett." The man laughed as Nessie snuggled against his broad chest. He peeled her away from him then and tossed her into the air like she was a toddler. She laughed and rained kisses on the man's face. I smiled as his expression melted. He was bigger than Daniel, all broad shoulders and husky muscle. Only with Renesmee in his arms could he look like a big, friendly teddy bear. He winked at me and then put Nessie back on her feet. "Thanks for keeping this little monkey occupied. She's always complaining that we don't let her out enough." I smiled wryly again.

"Nessie is the one that adopted me. I'm getting more out of this than she is." Nessie rolled her eyes and dragged me away again. I was beginning to feel like a rag doll.

"Aunt Alice! Look, it's Chris!" Renesmee pulled me towards the stairs, where Alice and Jasper were sitting, looking through a book of some kind. As I got closer, I realized it was a photo album. Alice looked up and Jasper took the album from her with a wry smile and a shake of his head at Alice. Alice seemed to relax then and she beamed at me as popped up and bounded down the stairs to give me a hug.

"Oh, it's so wonderful to finally meet you. We're going to have so much fun tonight while the boys are out camping. Where did Daniel get to with your bag?" Alice was bubbly and bright, like a streak of dancing light. She was small, with dark hair that stood out around her face in a way that reminded me of a demented fairy. I couldn't help but smile at her before looking around for Daniel. He was talking quietly to Carlisle. Esme had moved with Bella into the kitchen and Edward was out on the porch talking to Jacob and his friends. I spotted my bag on the table by the front door about the same time as Alice. She walked across the room, as graceful as any dancer I'd ever seen, and grabbed it. She flew back to the stairs, a little too fast if she was concerned with acting human, and handed it to me. I took it with a laugh before turning my smile on Jasper. He was standing, his height accentuated by the fact that he stood several steps above me. He didn't step down; his wary expression was a near match for Rosalie's earlier. For some reason, my danger sense tingled sharper now. I ignored it as his expression cleared and he gave me a charming smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Christine. I'm glad you could come to the party."

"And you as well, Jasper. Thank you all for having me." I turned to include Nessie and Alice in my comment. Nessie just grinned and took my bag from me.

"I'll put this in my room. Aunt Alice, can you take her in the kitchen so she can get a drink?" Nessie bounded away, stopping briefly to kiss Jasper's cheek before disappearing up the stairs. Alice put her strong, cool arm around my waist and pulled me towards the kitchen.

"So, Daniel is helping you find your stalker, then? That's so wonderful. Too many possibilities right now, though, to know how it'll turn out. I'm hoping for the best. I'd love for us to be friends." She talked a mile a minute, too fast for me to do more than file her words away for analysis later. I just listened as she took me into the kitchen. Bella was putting out a beautiful pink cake, complete with real roses, and Esme was mixing a pitcher of what looked like lemonade.

"Can I help with something?" I hated standing with my hands idle, but I was immediately handed a cup from the pitcher.

"You can tell me if that's got enough sugar." I sipped my drink, which was actually limeade. I confirmed for Esme that it was sweet enough and then chatted with the other girls about our agenda for the evening. Evidently the men were going to go camping tonight so the girls could have house to themselves. I chuckled softly at some of the suggestions. I had never really had a childhood and during my early teen years I had been on the road six months out of the year.

"I call dibs on Rosalie's hair." Nessie came back down the stairs as we were talking about fixing each other's hair. Alice just laughed and patted my hand.

"I'll do Chris. Bella can do Esme. Then we'll switch." The conversation continued with Nessie trying to decide which movies we would watch as Bella and Esme put everything on the large dining room table on the other side of the bar. I was relieved that Edward had honored my wishes that his family not pretend around me. There were only five glasses of limeade and five plates beside the cake. That was me, Nessie, Jacob, Leah and Seth. The whole family sang happy birthday to Renesmee and let her blow out the candles. I noted that there were only four of them. Interesting. I glanced at Edward and saw his lips twitch.

The cake was wonderful. Bella proudly announced that Edward had baked it while Emmett and Jasper snickered in the background. He seemed to have knack for baked goods. Just curious as to whether or not he was actually listening to me or tuning me out, I made a loud mental suggestion that he would be an awesome pastry chef. He pretended not to notice, but he glanced at the cake with a proud smile and I chuckled. About that time, Emmett announced that it was time to get down to the 'real party business'. He picked Nessie up and flung her over his shoulder, carrying her to a chair that was set up in the middle of a pile of presents. I grinned and moved to perch on the back of the couch with Daniel.

"You're enjoying yourself." It wasn't a question. I'd stopped being surprised when Daniel told me how I was feeling. I was almost certain he was an empath, if not another mind reader like Edward. So I just nodded as I watched Nessie tear into her presents.

"So, are you going camping with the rest of the boys tonight?" I was curious. Daniel nodded.

"It'll be fun. I haven't seen them in a while. We'll catch up on some things." His tone led me to believe that 'things' weren't included in the fun he'd mentioned. He glanced down at me and I just looked at him, as I often did when he was next to me. I was shaken from my trance when Nessie screamed my name. I flinched as she hit me, knocking me backwards onto the couch.

"You wrote a song for me? Thank you!" I lay there, a bit stunned but laughing as Daniel reached down to peel Nessie off of me. She was so enthusiastic today. I wondered if she was always this way with her family. She waved the CD case in her hand at me.

"You're very welcome. I wrote three or four, actually. I put a few other things on there, too. I hope you like them. I think you'll like my other gift, too." I wanted to make sure my other present didn't get forgotten in the bottom of the bag. She gasped and rushed back to her seat, obviously having missed said other gift. Daniel pulled me back into my previous perch and I gave him a grateful smile. I noticed the rest of the family looking at me with various degrees of amusement. I saw a look of understanding from Leah. Maybe I wasn't the only one overwhelmed by Nessie's brilliance today.

"Wow, oh wow!" Nessie's enthusiasm over the pair of ornate hair sticks was heartwarming. They were dark wood inlaid with copper wire, with a tiny wolf at the end of each carved from red jade. Nessie's beautiful hair was long and she tended to wear it up most of the time, so I thought she would enjoy a new method of taming it. She often wore a charm bracelet with a small wooden wolf and a large crystal heart on it, so when I'd seen these hair sticks in the small boutique in Hanover, I had immediately thought of Nessie.

"These are exquisite, Chris. Is that jade? What a thoughtful gift." Esme had spoken. She was examining the hair sticks now with Alice leaning over her shoulder. Emmett had shoved a new present into Nessie's hands. I smiled at the praise and watched curiously as Nessie opened Daniel's gift. Nessie's eyes widened when she unwrapped a carved wooden lily. She examined it for a long, quiet moment as the rest of the group murmured their appreciation of the beautiful gift. Nessie gently put the lily into Alice's hands before flying over to give Daniel a hug. He laughed and caught her. Somehow I doubted he was in any danger of falling over the back of the couch. I watched as Nessie placed her hand against Daniel's face and smiled mischeviously. Daniel flinched as if shocked and Nessie danced away, almost as graceful as Alice, back to her chair.

"That one, I want to look at now that it's finished. You have such a beautiful talent." I stated. Daniel still seemed a bit shaken by whatever Nessie had done to him. I gently touched his hand where it was resting against the couch. He looked over at me and his expression was troubled. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

Daniel shook his head and he gave me the most brilliant smile I'd ever seen. My heart stopped and I tried to remember that breathing was a good idea. Whatever Nessie had done, after a moment of troubled deliberation, it had made him very happy. And when he was happy, my heart had a problem dealing with the consequences. Someone cleared their throat and I tore my gaze away from Daniel to find Edward standing close. He was frowning, not to me, but at Daniel.

"You really shouldn't." Edward's words were sharp. I glanced back at Daniel, confused. He looked defiant. I glanced back at Edward, who answered some comment from Daniel's mind.

"That was different." Edward paused and glanced over at Alice, his lips moving so fast I couldn't read what he'd mouthed to her. The small woman frowned and her eyes focused inward for a moment before she shook her head sadly. Edward glanced back at Daniel and shook his head. I swear I heard Daniel's teeth grinding, but he still looked defiant. Edward sighed and shrugged. "It's your decision, but so far, nothing's changed."

Okay, the one sided conversations really sucked, especially when I was sure I was being discussed. I glared at Edward, who ignored me. I had the childish urge to step on his foot, but I figured I would just bruise my instep. So I tried something else. I thought my other theory at him, the one that I had been so very careful not to think today. Vampire. That certainly got a reaction.

"Outside, now." Edward grabbed my elbow and literally dragged me off the couch. I heard Daniel growl behind me and I was suddenly afraid.

"Finally, a sensible reaction." Edward hissed at me and I found myself in the Cullen's back yard. I would have been distracted by the beautiful view, but at the moment I was resisting the urge to clap both hands around my neck. My danger sense hadn't spiked though, so I forced myself to relax. Edward suddenly let go of me and turned. He dropped immediately into a crouch. Daniel was there, his stance a mirror of Edward's.

"I'm not going to hurt her." Edward's words would have been comforting if they hadn't been hissed. _Now_ my danger sense was spiked wildly. Not for myself, but for Daniel.

"Boys, if you can't play nice, don't play at all. Don't you dare cause a scene. It's Nessie's birthday party for heaven's sake." Was my voice a little too shrill? That had to grate on their extremely sensitive ears. They both hesitated for a split second and then shifted instantaneously out of their aggressive poses. I relaxed as my danger sense ebbed back to a tingle. Edward swung around to look at me and suddenly Daniel was there, standing beside and a little in front of me. I leaned against him and sighed.

"Well, I finally got a reaction that wasn't highly amused. Guess that confirms my guess, huh?" I grinned weakly at the surprised expression on Edward's face. I thought hard at him. _Yes, you idiot, it was just a guess. Your reactions to my guesses are the best way for me to gauge the truth_. _I still can't explain Nessie, though. Maybe now that I know_…

"You really don't want to know." Edward looked resigned now. Daniel relaxed beside me and I sighed.

"Maybe not, but it doesn't matter right now. I'm sure the entire family is currently tilting their heads this way, trying to figure out what's going on out here. So let's put this little conversation off until tomorrow." I glared at Edward, who threw up his hands and flashed into the house so fast I didn't even register a blur of movement. I looked up at Daniel.

"Sorry. I thought something at him I obviously shouldn't have." He was looking down at me with a sober expression.

"You know, don't you. What we are?" His voice was so quiet, I couldn't hear it, but I could read it on his lips. I nodded. He reached very slowly and placed his hand on my cheek, his thumb stroking the skin under my ear. I leaned into his touch with a sigh.

"Yes."

"You were afraid, are still afraid." He sighed softly, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"I was afraid, for you. I was worried Edward would hurt you. Now, I'm very not afraid." It was true. He was touching me again so my heart was fluttering and my knees were weak. "Trust me, I feel no fear when you touch me like this. You're probably just reading my spidey sense tingling."

"Your what?" His voice was confused. He tilted my face up so I was looking into his eyes.

"I mentioned my sixth sense for danger Wednesday, remember? But just because something is dangerous, doesn't mean I have to be afraid of it. If that was true, I would live my life in a padded cell."

"Some people would say you should be in a padded cell for not being afraid of me, of us." His voice was tender as he continued to stroke my skin. Despite the chill, I felt my heart speed up and my blood heat. He dropped his hand and I felt an overwhelming sense of loss. I sighed and looked back at the house. I realized that I needed to reassure Edward and his family.

"I have no desire to end up in a padded cell. Your secret is completely safe with me. But enough of this. It's a party. Let's save the serious stuff for tomorrow, shall we?" Daniel sighed and nodded, moving along with me back towards the house.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the house was the silence. Even Renesmee was quiet and all eyes were staring at me. The stillness was eerie. I frowned.

"Nessie, are you done opening presents?" My question seemed to break the ice. All the vampires fidgeted on cue and the warm blooded people relaxed. I grinned and walked over to start examining the pile of gifts Nessie had accumulated. The rest of the party was subdued and I felt guilty for that. So I spent the time next to Nessie, doing my best to make her smile.

The minute the men left the house a couple of hours later, the mood changed considerably. Alice happily suggested we all change into our pajamas and make snacks. Rosalie and Bella ran up the stairs to change and get all the makeover tools while Renesmee bounced towards me. I think I was the only one concerned that Leah didn't stay with us. No one else thought oddly of it, so I shrugged it off and let Renesmee drag me to her room to change into our pajamas.

I came out of her bathroom in my Happy Bunny nightgown and Nessie was sitting on the edge of her bed in a pair of purple silk pajamas. She had been a little surprised by my modesty but I wasn't about to let her see the letter shaped scars all over my torso. Most of them were too faint for me to see without squinting but I thought her eyes might be a little sharper. I would never be able to wear a bikini or a cropped off shirt. Nessie grinned a little at the slogan on my shirt, but it seemed half-hearted.

"So, you know." Nessie's tentative question was almost frightened. Ah, so that was worrying her. I gave her a gentle smile.

"Nessie, I've known something was different about your family since the first day. Just because I've put a label on it, doesn't change anything. You're still my best friend, even if your family has rather disturbing dietary habits." I reassured her the best I could, trying to make a joke out of it. I still needed desperately to know two important things. Did the Cullen's drink human blood and what exactly was Renesmee? But those questions would wait until tomorrow. Tonight was for Nessie.

Nessie was watching me carefully, something still concerning her. I reached over and pulled her into a hug, intent on promising her again that nothing would change my affection for her. I didn't get the chance, because she put her small hand against my neck and colors exploded behind my eyes.

I saw myself, in brilliant sparkling color, the first time I'd seen Renesmee. I felt the curiosity and concern behind her decision to greet me that first day, her joy when I responded in a friendly manner and the thrill of introducing me to her parents. The vision continued though almost every minute I'd spent with Nessie and I felt her affection for me grow. I also felt darker spots, concern about something nebulous. Perhaps some random concern about my stalker, but then it had been evident the day we'd met, too. On and on the vision went, faster than I could really assimilate, but I grasped for the brighter bits. Too much, too fast, I wanted to scream. My mind felt like a balloon stretched thinner and thinner until I thought it might burst from the pressure.

When Nessie pulled away, my mind settled back into a quiet, normal sized pool of Christine-ness. It was almost painful, the loss of such brilliant stimulus. I gasped for breath and sank to the floor. Nessie hovered over me, her hands fluttering around my shoulders in concern.

"I've never done that to a human before. Should I call Carlisle?" Her voice sounded panicked. I shook my head and managed to find my voice.

"No, no, I'm...okay. Was that your memories? Of me?" I looked up at her and she nodded. I rubbed my temples and grinned wryly.

"It was like watching a movie of all our time together. Very odd, but it was interesting. I'm...flattered." And I was. Not only because she had shown me her very special gift, but also because I now understood how very much my friendship meant to her. She had an incredible capacity for love and it almost shamed me. I wondered if I had ever felt that deeply about anything in my life. Maybe my love for my parents, for my brother. But to come to love a complete stranger like that was mind boggling.

"I'll warn you, next time. If I ever do it again. Are you sure you're alright? You look dazed." Nessie gently touched my face and I chuckled weakly.

"Dazzled, more like it." Then I realized what she'd done to Daniel today on the couch. "What did you show Daniel this afternoon? When you hugged him for your present?"

Nessie looked embarrassed then, a blush rising in her cheeks. She reached out hesitantly towards my cheek and I nodded, bracing myself for the images this time. I recognized the scene as one of our picnics on the Green and the conversation was fresh in my mind because it had only been yesterday.

_"So, you like Daniel?" Nessie was picking at the sandwich in her lap. She wasn't really hungry today, I'd noticed. Her question caught me off guard._

_"Um, yeah. He's a wonderful teacher." I tried to be nonchalant about my answer. Nessie was incredibly observant. She didn't disappoint today._

-288_"No, I mean as a_ man. _He's very handsome." Nessie's voice held a teasing note. I grimaced._

_"Has your dad said something?" Nessie's eyes grew wide and she shook her head. _

_"Oh no, no. He doesn't ever betray someone else's thoughts, not usually anyway. So you _do _like him like that!" She caught on quickly that I was worried about what Edward might have said about my feelings for Daniel. I sighed._

_"He's the most amazing man on the face of the planet. I've never felt safer with another person, even one so obviously dangerous. He's kind, devastatingly beautiful, masculine...." I trailed off, embarrassed. Nessie laughed and encouraged me to go on, but I shook my head._

_"He's my teacher and my friend, Nessie. He can't possibly want me like that, so it's best to let it go and enjoy his company now that he's not avoiding me like a plague of locusts. Let it go."_

It was easier, just having her show me one memory instead of several. This was the memory that had made Daniel so happy. My heart beat an erratic tempo at the thought that maybe he _did_ want me like that. Being around me caused him discomfort; I could see it in his eyes whenever we were close. But that hadn't stopped him from becoming my champion, my pale knight in cold, stone-skin armor.

"Well that complicates things." I murmured to myself as I considered the possibilities. Daniel wasn't human. Even if we could have a relationship, breaking the 'no student/teacher romance' rule would be the least of our worries. Nessie was watching me, though, so I smiled brightly. "In a good way, Nessie. Thank you."

"Nessie, are you coming or do I have to figure out the microwave all by myself again?" It was Rosalie's voice we heard. It was barely loud enough for me to hear and I knew Nessie's hearing was nearly as good as her parents. The words were as much for my benefit as for Nessie's. The younger girl squealed softly.

"Last time Aunt Rose tried to make popcorn, it took days to get the scorched smell out of the house." Her nose was wrinkled as she darted from the room to rescue us from overcooked popcorn. I was glad for the moment alone. I pushed myself up off the floor and tested my legs. Okay, not too wobbly. There was an odd pressure in my skull like I was about to get a killer headache, so I took a few calming breaths and headed after Nessie. I was hoping Bella might have something with a high caffeine content hiding in her seldom used kitchen.

The rest of the night was very enlightening. I got my soda, which Bella stated they kept on hand for Jacob and his friends. Her comment about her own low tolerance for caffeine 'as a human' only made me more curious about how she had become a vampire. Of course I didn't ask. I'd had enough of my puzzle filled in to satisfy me for tonight. So I found myself sitting on a pillow in the living room with Alice's nimble fingers braiding my hair. Nessie was attempting the same thing with Rosalie. I graced the blonde vampire with a long suffering grin and was thrilled when she returned it. Okay, more like blinded by her beauty, but I shook it off. Weeks of keeping Renesmee company made it easy.

Someone had put _The Princess Bride_ into the DVD player and Nessie and I spent the next two hours quoting lines along with the actors. At one point, Alice and Nessie actually reenacted the sword fight atop the Cliffs of Insanity with a pair of sticks. Wesley, eat your heart out. Alice Cullen would have kicked his butt. Nessie wasn't so bad herself. I felt a twinge of envy for their grace. They weren't bothering to pretend to be human around me now, so it was even worse.

At some point after that, Nessie put the CD I had given her into the house's sound system and my latest creations lilted around us. It led to a conversation about my music. I had been playing the piano since I could remember. Music had always been my way to communicate. I was termed a 'prodigy' by the time I was five and had played at the White House when I was six. My parents had kept me fairly close to home until I was ten, at which point I was composing my own music. I had been part of my first classical World Tour when I was twelve. At that point in the conversation, Esme had confessed that she was a fan of my work.

"You have a wonderful talent. I'm sure you and my Edward get along so well, what with both of you being so musical. He owns all of your music." I was shocked. Edward and I didn't really discuss music. He probably knew a great deal about my composition technique, as often as I composed music in my head around him to keep my thoughts off more delicate things. I'd had no idea he was familiar with my music. My brother often assured me that I was a celebrity, but it never quite sank in. I had written some songs that had done well in the popular music world, had even won a Grammy for songwriting, but it would always surprise me when people knew the face behind my music. I had always assumed my piano was like a mask I could hide behind. Of course my stalker forced me to realize that wasn't always the case.

I managed to turn the conversation in another direction eventually and we chatted about fashion. That discussion prompted Alice to dive into Nessie's closet and she treated the girl like a barbie doll. Nessie seemed used to this, so I just laughed and watched. During the fashion show, I came across the photo album that Jasper and Alice had been looking at on the stairs and I was instantly enthralled by picture after picture of Nessie as a baby, as an infant, as a toddler.

"Alice makes a lot of her clothes." I looked up to see Esme peering over my shoulder. The gentle, smiling woman settled at my side and touched several pictures. I laughed.

"Why am I not surprised? You all seem to have so many beautiful talents." Esme chuckled softly. Evidently Alice was quite a fashion designer, even if she just designed for family. Esme and I looked at pictures for a while, the beautiful woman telling me some of the stories behind the pictures. Eventually, I heard Nessie announce that dress up time was over. I saw her yawn behind her hand, trying to hide her fatigue from both her family and myself. So I yawned too, knowing Nessie would never admit to being sleepy if I didn't.

"Time for the human types to get some sleep, I think." I knew it was the right thing to do because Nessie didn't argue at all. She made a whirlwind round of her family, delivering kisses and hugs before dragging my up the stairs to her room.

As we lay there in the dark, Nessie and I whispered and giggled for a few minutes before the younger girl finally drifted to sleep. Her deep, even breathing was soothing and I wasn't long following her into slumber.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I noticed was the sun falling across the bed. Nessie's room had east facing windows and her curtains were only sheers. I realized then just how much the Cullen's must trust me. At some point today, I was going to find out if sunlight was really deadly to vampires. I knew they could come out during the daylight hours, so I very much doubted it. In fact, most of the Cullen's home was made out of glass. The windows in the house afforded a spectacular mountain view from nearly every direction. So my curiosity was peaked.

Nessie was already awake, making quiet noises in the bathroom. I rolled out of bed myself and walked to the french doors that opened onto a balcony looking over the view of the valley below the house and the mountains beyond it. It was at least mid-morning. I pushed open the doors and stepped out onto the cool wooden deck. There was no furniture here, so I perched on the wide railing and turned my back to the house with my legs dangling into space. I breathed deeply of the fresh mountain air and leaned back on my hands, enjoying the sun warming my face.

"Chris?" Nessie made more noise than was usual and her voice was quiet. I grinned. She was smart enough not to startle me. I had a pretty good sense of balance. My danger sense wasn't even tingling, so I didn't think I was in danger of falling. I turned to see her already dressed for the day in jeans and a t-shirt. Once I acknowledged her presence, she jumped up onto the railing like a cat, sure-footed as she danced along the rail for a moment and then settled lightly beside me.

"This is such a beautiful view." Nessie just hmmed softly in agreement and wrapped one arm around me, resting her head on my shoulder. I laid my cheek against her hair and smiled, enjoying the quiet moment with my friend. Until my stomach growled. Nessie giggled.

"Mom and Dad are making brunch for the warm bloods. You want to get a shower first?" I nodded agreement and turned, hopping off the rail and moving back into the bedroom. I heard Nessie say something about meeting downstairs and I turned to reply. My heart leapt into my throat. Nessie was gone. I rushed back onto the balcony, almost afraid to look down for fear she might be hurt. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her running across the backyard. It was another reminder that Nessie was as remarkable as her parents. I rushed through my shower. I was excited because today, I was going to finally get my answers.

The first of those answers came before brunch. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was startled to find Daniel standing at the foot of Nessie's bed. When I saw him, I gave him a bright smile. He didn't return it. Instead, he stepped forward into the sunlight and pulled off his t-shirt in one smooth motion. For a split second, my mind was focused on the fact that Daniel was shirtless and he was breathtaking. For the rest of that second, my brain registered the fact that my beautiful vampire sparkled in the sunlight. Literally - he sparkled, like his skin was embedded with millions of tiny diamonds all catching the sun like tiny prisms. I wondered if I would see miniature rainbows on the floor if I looked. I would probably never know, because I didn't have any urge to look anywhere but his face.

"This is why we don't go out in sunlight. Freak show, I know." Daniel's voice was quiet, the tone of it hovering on a line between amused and horrified. I stepped forward slowly, lifting my hand towards his chest. I knew he could read me. What did child-like wonder feel like to an empath? He stepped forward, inviting me to touch him. My hand brushed against the smooth skin over his collar bone and skimmed up to his face.

"You are not a freak. You're amazing." I managed to say this without sounding completely stunned. I was proud of myself. Daniel sighed.

"I'm designed to kill, Christine. It's all just bait in the trap. My smell, my pretty face, my voice. Even my sparkly shine. They're all tools to get me what I want, what vampires need to survive." Daniel's words shocked me out of my awe, mostly because he was so blunt about it. I didn't drop my hand, though, and he didn't seem inclined to move away.

"Blood. You need blood to survive." I supplied this part of the puzzle myself. Daniel nodded, eyes closed as he leaned into my hand as if he was comforted by my touch. I took courage in that action. I asked the most important of my questions. "Does it have to be human blood?"

"No. For some of us, animal blood is enough. There aren't many of us, the so-called 'vegetarian' vampires. But we strive to live with the humans, try to be as normal as our kind can be with our...special gifts. Most humans are still smart enough to keep their distance, even if they don't know what it is about us that makes us different." His voice was bemused, as if he was couldn't quite figure out why _I_ wasn't one of those smart humans. I couldn't answer that question myself. All I knew was that I was drawn to him on a level that was soul deep, even when my instincts screamed at me to run and hide. It wasn't just his special vampire lures. If it was only that, why wasn't I drawn like this to Edward?

"Well, I guess I'm not smart enough, because I don't want to keep my distance, Daniel." I stroked his cheek, letting him know that I was very okay being close to him. He drew in a shaky breath and pulled away. My hand dropped to my side. He stepped out of the sunlight and pulled his shirt back over his head. My heart ached when he gave me a sad smile.

"I just wanted to show you that, so you wouldn't be startled if one of us walked into the sun downstairs." His voice was quiet, careful. I understood that we were dropping both the subject of vampires and of my wanting to be close to him. I wondered if we would be picking up either subject again before nightfall. He disappeared from the room and I took a few steadying breaths before following him down the stairs.

The rest of the day flew by. I spent most of the day with Nessie but eventually it was time for me to say goodbye. I knew the Cullens' wanted more family time without the human to worry about, so when Daniel quietly asked if I was ready to go, I kissed Nessie on the cheek and bade the rest of the Cullens' farewell. Once we were safe inside the car, Daniel took a deep breath and smiled.

"Not so bad, now. I think I can do this."

"Do what?" I asked. He laughed and shook his head. I was frustrated then, but it was shortlived.

"So, I imagine you have questions. Edward has decided it's too dangerous to let you draw anymore of your own conclusions, so you might as well have the truth." And so began my education in the world of vampires. The next two weeks were some of the happiest in my life. I really needed my head examined. Spending time with vampires should have been horror movie material, or at the very least material for a two hour Buffy special. Instead, I was fascinated by every detail. I finally had the answer to my second most important question. I knew what Renesmee was.

Half vampire, half human, Nessie had been conceived while Bella was still human. Edward had insisted that Nessie 'show' me the first memory she had of her mother. The picture of a broken, bloody human girl was forever burned into my brain, right alongside the image of my parents' bodies. They were all shoved into the far recesses of my mind, a place that I only visited in my nightmares. I knew why Edward had insisted, though. He was terrified that I might decide I wanted to get to know Daniel in a biblical sense. I had to say the thought was very tempting since I was now besotted, obsessed, and completely in love with him.

I now knew why Daniel had such a hard time being around me. Evidently my blood 'sang' to him, making me his ultimate prey. My blood was like the purest form of heroin to an addict. He would always crave the taste of my blood, like a starving animal standing in front of a smorgasbord of its favorite food. The only thing standing between that animal and the food was Daniel's will. I trusted him completely, both in spite of and because of everything I knew about him.

Daniel had been a U.S. Marshall when he was human, a man trained to hunt down criminals. He had tracked a coven of vampires who were killing their way across New York State. In the end, he had been turned by their leader. It had been 1897 and he had been 28 years old. He wouldn't elaborate on what his first few vampire years had been like, only to refer to it as hell on earth. After he'd broken away from the gang, he had become a hunter of evil men, refusing to feed on the blood of innocents. It wasn't until a chance meeting with Carlisle Cullen that Daniel had found hope in another way of life. For the past three decades, he had been like the Cullens' - a 'vegetarian' vampire who only fed on the blood of animals.

Daniel no longer avoided me. In fact, he tended to seek me out. He would touch me gently and often, kiss my hands or just draw me into a cool embrace. I cherished the memory of the one time his cool lips had skimmed across my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I had tried desperately not to let my heart pound and my blood heat at his touch, but as usual my desire for him betrayed me and he had to let me go. He was getting better at controlling his thirst, his need for my blood, but I was smart enough to learn when he was past his limits.

Another thing I learned during those two weeks was some basic, and some not so basic, self-defense. Nessie had been my punching bag since she was the only one of my vampire friends that I could hit or throw without bruising myself or throwing my back out. She was a lot harder and sturdier than she looked, too.

Nessie had Daniel's permission to randomly attack me, which she did gleefully and often. The first few times it happened, I'd panicked. I was getting better at staying calm, though, and trying to remember the moves that Daniel had demonstrated for me. Kneeing Nessie in the groin had little effect, but poking her in the eyes did seem to work pretty well. I think she'd actually winced once when I'd done that. Knowing that there was no possible way I could really hurt her physically, I was actually a little proud of myself.

As the time for my brother's concert drew near, Daniel and Edward discussed ways of drawing out my stalker. In the end, it was decided that I had to come out of hiding. The best thing would be for me to be seen at one of Raoul's concerts. I couldn't wait to talk this over with Fran. She wasn't going to like it one bit.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

My hands shook. My brother was only minutes away and I was going to see him for the first time in almost a year. I wasn't nervous; I was so full of joy I couldn't think straight. At Daniel's suggestion, I had gone over Fran's head to Marcus Franks and told him that I wanted to see my brother. He had been as unmovable as Fran, until I told him I was perfectly willing to be bait to draw my stalker out. It seemed the department was pressuring him to either do something with the case or put me in permanent witness protection. So they were going to let me meet with my brother during his trip to Dartmouth, let the news get out that I was here.

"I can't believe you're doing this, Christine." Fran was still fuming over my betrayal. I was a bit smug about that, not repentant at all. I could understand Fran's stance. She believed that safety came first. Fran just didn't understand that I would never feel safe until my stalker was behind bars; or if Daniel and Edward got their way, headless. I had never condoned violence as an answer to any problem, but in this case I was almost hoping for it. The man had destroyed my family and my life so I didn't want his end to be an easy one.

I was sitting in Raoul's hotel suite with Fran while two other agents prowled the hotel somewhere. Fran had an earpiece. Edward and Daniel were in the room directly below us, where they could hear everything that went on in this room. I smiled at the thought. I knew Daniel would come straight through two feet of concrete and steel if I needed protection. Not that I was worried about the stalker coming at me this directly. Not yet. My brother didn't even know I was here so how could he?

"He's on his way up." Fran advised me, sounding resigned. She stepped out the door and left me alone. She was going to stand outside in the hall during my reunion. I didn't need her attitude to distract me from tonight's celebration. At least I hoped it would be a celebration. Surely my brother would be happy to see me. For the first time, I felt a flutter of nerves. I jumped up from the loveseat and began to pace the floor until I heard him talking to Fran outside. I could only make out the low murmur of voices, but my heart jumped in my chest as I faced the door.

"Chris!" My brother's exclamation echoed the joy in my soul as he flung open the door. I was crushed against him in seconds, both of us weeping. His tall frame curled around mine, his strong arms lifting me off the floor. I threw my arms around his neck and inhaled. He smelled like my father.

"God, I've missed you so much, Ra-Ra." My old nickname for him caused a snort of muffled laughter. His face was buried in my hair. He stood like that for a while, until he drew me back to the loveseat and sat with me in his lap. He grabbed my face in his hands and looked hard at me, his green eyes trying to pierce through to my soul. I had so much to tell him, so much that I couldn't tell him. It was going to be a long night. I wasn't leaving this suite until morning, Fran be damned.

The next day was Saturday, the day of Raoul's concert. I woke up in his bed. He was asleep beside me, still in his clothes from the night before and on top of the bedspread. Our hands were still curled around one another's. I peeked at the clock and sighed. It was almost ten o'clock. I had gotten what, maybe four hours of sleep? Hopefully Raoul had slept as well. He looked so peaceful, his shaggy auburn hair in disarray across the pillow. He had shadows under his eyes and two days growth of beard on his face. I remembered thinking how tired he'd looked last night. I wasn't about to wake him. Unfortunately, his phone did.

"Chris? Wow, it wasn't a dream." He blinked groggily at me and squeezed my hand before he swung off the bed and stumbled to where he'd dropped his cell phone the night before. I sat up and hugged the covers around me, just watching him.

"Hey, Marty. Yeah, I overslept. No, I don't want breakfast this morning. Nope, I'll get lunch on my own. How about you meet me at the Hop around one?" My brother just laughed at something his road manager, who had been my old road manager, said to him. "For once, Marty, you're actually right. Oh, please, it's not what you think. I'll tell you all about it this afternoon."

"What did he say to you?" I was curious as he hung up. Raoul chuckled and winked at me.

"He jokingly suggested that I might have picked up a girl last night and that's why I'm breaking our usual routine. It's true, in a technical sense." He threw himself onto the bed beside me, tackling me and the bedspread across the mattress and into the floor on the other side. My cry of surprise was echoed by the thud of both of us hitting the carpeted floor.

"Ouch, that's going to leave a bruise." I laughed, not really caring as my brother and I sprawled beside one another atop the tangled coverlet. He put his hands under his head and rested his legs on the bed, crossing his ankles in the air. I copied his pose and we continued to talk.

"So, you seem happy." Raoul tilted his head so he could look at me. I sighed softly.

"I am happy. I'm so glad I talked them into letting me see you." I confirmed his comment. He hummed thoughtfully.

"I meant with your life here at Dartmouth, with your friend Nessie. I can't wait to meet her." I had told him as much as I could about Nessie and her family. I thought I'd kept references to the elder Cullens' and Daniel fairly vague. Nessie was a safe topic because she the one friend I could introduce to Raoul without fear. I knew that Edward, Bella and Daniel would be strange enough to cause warning bells to sound in his head. I wasn't the only one in the family with an early warning system. Mine was just the strongest.

"I love her like a sister, Raoul. She's been a huge support for me, her and her family. Between them and Daniel, they convinced me to insist on meeting you. I'm so tired of hiding. I'm not going to do it anymore. It might mean I'll have agents breathing down my neck 24/7, but it's worth it to get to see you again." I sighed happily.

"So, when am I going to meet this Daniel?" My brother's tone was wry. My brow furrowed as if I was confused, but my heart was thudding in my chest. What had I said to tip him off?

"You want to meet my Creative Writing teacher?" I tried to keep it nonchalant. Raoul turned onto his side, elbow on the floor with his head in his hand as he looked at me. His expression was one I remembered well. It was his 'Big brothers know everything' look.

"Don't play like that, little sister. I've known you since you were in diapers. The expression on your face when you mention him, the way you say his name like a caress…you've got a thing for this man." He watched me blush and I knew I couldn't hide my feelings from him. But I could hide the depth of them.

"He's a wonderful man, Ra. Of course I've got a crush, what girl in her right mind wouldn't? He's my teacher, though, and he's older. I'm not stupid enough to think a girl like me could ever dream of having man like him. But he's a great friend." I tried to keep my tone light, but my brother looked doubtful.

"Crush, huh? I remember when you had that crush on Josh Groben. And the crush on the kid from those Harry Potter movies, that Rob something or other." I groaned softly, closing my eyes.

"I was what, eleven or twelve years old, Raoul. I've grown up a lot since then, it's different."

"My point exactly. You don't gush about him, you're quiet about it. You glow like someone's lit you up from the inside when you talk about him. You've never really been a child, Chris. You grew up faster than most and you've never been the kind to make attachments to people. After all that's happened to you, it's a miracle that you've made friends, much less started thinking about someone romantically. He's got to be someone really special." His voice was gentle. I felt tears pricking the back of my eyelids as I struggled to keep myself from dwelling on my feelings for Daniel. The man was just below me in all his empathic glory.

"Yeah, he is. But I'm happy to be his friend, his student. There can't ever be anything more between us, Raoul. It's impossible." My voice broke on the last word. I prayed frantically that Edward's comment that Daniel's empathy only worked in close company held true, though somehow I knew he was standing right under us, his head tilted back and his expression pained. Raoul reached over and dragged me into his arms, holding me tightly. His whispered words against my hair pierced through to my soul.

"My God, you've fallen in love with him." I didn't confirm or deny my brother's words. Instead I buried my face in his chest and allowed myself a handful of tears for the futility of my feelings for Daniel. He was a vampire, I was a human. I knew it wasn't impossible for a human to become a vampire, but Daniel and Edward were both dead set against talking about the process with me. I still remembered Bella's broken body from Nessie's vision and wondered if you had to dying to become like them. I didn't want to put Raoul through that kind of pain again.

After several quiet moments, I pulled myself together and lightened the mood by suggesting we order brunch. My brother seemed reluctant to drop the subject, but he respected my unspoken plea and we had a quiet meal together before I was forced to leave the hotel so I could go back to the dorm and shower. I called Fran and she met me in the lobby. There was already a car waiting outside. I knew the FBI had at least four agents in and around the hotel today. Two of them would be escorting me to and fro the rest of the day. The other two would keep tabs on Raoul.

I walked across campus about three o'clock with Fran and the other agent, Mike, walking a few feet behind me, looking almost normal. Nessie came bounding across the Green to meet me and we continued on to the Hop. I wanted to ask her where Edward and Daniel were, but my shadows were in alert mode. Nessie wasn't supposed to be part of this meeting with Raoul, she was only supposed to going with me to the concert tonight.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Raoul as we approached the building. I was surprised to see a satellite truck parked along the back. Was this performance being broadcast? He confirmed my suspicions when he met me at the side door that led into a small area of dressing and rehearsal rooms. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and I noticed Nessie's concerned gaze. I shook my head and took a deep breath. This is what I wanted.

"Raoul, this is Renesmee Cullen. Nessie, this is my brother, Raoul." I introduced them as soon as we were in Raoul's small dressing room. Fran and Mike had stopped in the hallway to chat with the tour's security so I relaxed. Nessie wasted no time in hugging a stunned Raoul. I laughed.

"I told you the picture didn't do her justice." I had a picture of myself and Nessie from her party in my wallet that I had shown him last night. His eyes were wide as he looked down at the beautiful specimen of youthful beauty. He looked up and met my eyes. He was truly stunned. Had I looked like that the first time I'd seen Nessie? I didn't think so. Nessie pulled back and hovered at my side.

"I'm glad Chris got to see you. She's missed you a lot." Nessie's quiet words seemed to break Raoul out of his daze and he smiled at her, his gaze flashing to my face.

"I'm glad too. I've missed her more than words can say." After that, we just sat for a while, Nessie talking animatedly with Raoul about me. My brother was glad to regale her with stories of my childhood, most of which he embellished like a true storyteller. I didn't bother to correct him since Nessie was enthralled. He was in the middle of telling her about the time I took a nose dive into a refreshment table at my own sixteenth birthday party when someone rapped on the door.

Nessie came off the couch and was hovering at my side again as Raoul let Marty into the room. I grinned wryly, wondering how many people would believe me if I told them this fragile looking youth was actually my bodyguard? She was under orders from Daniel that if worse came to worse, she was to pick me up and run. She might not be quite as strong or fast as a vampire, but she was close enough that it made no difference.

"Hi, Marty." I greeted the man that had been my road manager since I was twelve years old. He was an old friend of the family and he was the closest thing I had to an uncle. Evidently he'd been warned I was coming so he didn't look surprised, just ecstatic. He rushed forward and grabbed me into a bear hug. For the next hour, a handful of other members of my old tour crew slipped into the room to greet me. Luckily everyone seemed to be under orders to keep it light. No one mentioned the attack, though several people commented on how good I looked. By the time five o'clock rolled around, I was relaxed and happy. Not one ping on my danger sense.

At five o'clock, one hour before the auditorium doors opened, Raoul had a final soundcheck and I had a surprise for all of them. There was a place in the set where Raoul and the another pianist on the tour played dueling pianos. I drew Preston Mason aside and whispered a request. He was immediately accommodating. So when Raoul yelled for Preston so they could practice the rather challenging piece, I slid onto the seat of the smaller piano.

Raoul didn't notice the change in partners. He'd only heard the stool creak behind him. He began and I followed. The first part of the duel was easy, as each player simply played something complex and the other tried to copy him or her. It was the second half of the duet, where the pieces were supposed to be played so that they blended together into one seamless composition that was difficult. I wasn't terribly worried, unless someone had tweaked the arrangement that Raoul and I had written five years ago.

After I answered Raoul's first, fairly simple measures, I threw something completely new at him. He turned on his stool to stare at me as my fingers danced over the opening measures to Renesmee's Song. I had to play it for him a few times before he turned back to his piano and tried it. It was the only unfamiliar bit that I added to the routine. We ran through the rest of the routine a couple of times to make sure I was still familiar with it. It felt so good to be playing with my brother again.

"You'll have to let me hear the rest of that piece very soon, you little tease." My brother's words were joyful and I laughed.

"I'll burn you a CD tonight. Now, I've got to go get dressed. Unlike you, it'll actually take me more than ten minutes." I left Raoul to meet with Nessie in the wings. Her eyes were sparkling. Evidently she'd enjoyed the dueling pianos. We left the auditorium and made our way backstage towards the dressing rooms. I saw Fran disengage from a chat with Marty to follow me. Instead of waiting outside the room like she usually did, she came in and sat on the arm of the worn couch that dominate the tiny room.

"So you're determined to do this?" Her words were quiet, resigned. I moved to where my dress, which Nessie had brought over earlier with Bella, was hung. I unzipped the white plastic bag from around it and noted with satisfaction that the dress was white with black trim. It was a perfect foil for Raoul's black tuxedo and white tie, a gimmick he and I always used for dueling pianos. I turned back to Fran as Nessie began pulling lace underthings from a bag on the small, well lit dressing table.

"Yes, Fran. I'm going to do this. We'll never catch him otherwise. I have to put myself out there, where he can see me. I didn't realize this was being broadcast, either. Even better I suppose." Fran grimaced.

"So Agent Franks thinks. Alright, we've got local security on all the exits. I'll be your shadow all night and the other three will keep a tight watch on the stage and the crowd. Just so you know, I'm actually glad I'll get to listen to the show." She slipped out of the room. I stared after her with my mouth open. That was the first time Fran had ever said anything that could be construed as a compliment regarding my life's work. Nessie put her finger under my chin and pushed my jaw back up.

"Come on, you don't have time for that. Let's make you all pretty."

The concert went off without a hitch. My danger sense only tingled a few times and since I knew that Edward, Bella and Daniel were all in the crowd, I didn't think much about it. Now Fran was escorting Raoul and me to the small reception being held at the observatory across campus. I had to get through the reporters first. There were two news cameras and a half dozen reporters yelling at me. Nessie wasn't with me at the moment. She'd been sent to sit with her parents. I knew Edward had been monitoring the thoughts of the crowd for anything dangerous, so I hadn't been worried about someone trying to shoot me on stage or something equally dramatic.

Fran and one of the local security people pushed me through the crowd of reporters as I murmured 'no comment' a few times. I was already in the back seat of the car when my danger sense spiked. I glanced through the car windows on all sides frantically as Raoul slid in beside me and Fran slipped into the front seat and pulled the door closed. All four doors clicked loudly, the locks engaged.

"All Clear, bravo team. Head to the reception. We'll be behind you once we clear these reporters." Fran spoke into radio, sending the rest of the agents on ahead of us. The car inched forward, careful of the hovering reporters. I tried not to hyperventilate. The last time I'd felt like this was when my stalker had broken into our house in Colorado. The danger was intensified because it wasn't just for me, but also for those around me that I loved. Raoul noticed my panicked expression and took my hand, looking down at me in concern.

"Chris?" His voice was low, against my ear. Fran was giving the driver directions to the observatory and didn't seem to notice my distress. I clutched Raoul's hand and grimaced, shaking my head. The danger didn't ease as we pulled out of the lot and began to move faster. In fact, it was pinging so wildly I was seconds away from screaming at the driver to stop the car. Was I the only one that noticed we weren't driving the right way? Fran wasn't paying attention to the road, her head bent over her blackberry. I turned in my seat to look behind us. We were already off campus and there wasn't a car to be seen behind us. I clutched at Raoul's arm.

"Something's wrong, this isn't the right way." I murmured it to him and he leaned forward to talk to Fran in a hissed undertone. The woman turned her head to respond to whatever Raoul had said when the driver raised his hand, pointing a gun at Fran's head. The sound of the gunshot roared through the car, the flash momentarily blinding me. I felt warm, wet droplets on my face, could taste them on my tongue because my mouth was open in a scream. Raoul's body was suddenly on top of mine, curved protectively around me. I felt the car accelerate. The sound of _his_ laughter from the front seat made me whimper.

"To think, I was going to catch the brother for a little fun and imagine my joy, my surprise, when I get the entree along with the appetizer." His voice sent me into a nightmare, spiraling down into a deep pit that I had already clawed myself out of once. _Edward!!_ I screamed in my head, over and over, praying he was close enough to hear, close enough to help. Because if I lost my brother I wouldn't have the fight left to claw my way out of the pit again.

"I'll give you anything, but please, let him go." My muffled plea made the madman laugh again, made Raoul clutch me tighter and growl a protest in my ear.

"That's a promise I doubt you'll keep once he's gone." I heard another gunshot, felt Raoul jerk and curse above me. I felt a trickle of something warm and wet dripping down my leg. My howl of despair was drowned out by the sudden sounds of screeching metal and breaking glass as the car jerked and swerved off the road. Raoul and I tumbled around in the back seat like a pair of pinballs. Seat belts would have been good, I thought hysterically, just before the car came to very abrupt stop. Raoul and I were thrown into the floorboards, hard.

"Christine?" The sound of Daniel's frightened voice was the most brilliant thing I had ever heard. I didn't fight the cool hands I felt pulling me from the car, reaching down into the dark pit to pull me back from insanity. I found myself cradled against his hard, cold body for just a moment before I was laid on the ground beside the car.

"Are you hurt? Maybe I shouldn't have moved you..." His hands moved over my body swiftly, looking for injuries. I did a brief self examination and decided that other than a mild twinge or two, I was merely bruised and shaken.

"Not me. Raoul's shot. And Fran's dead." I don't know how I managed to form words, but Raoul was more important than me right now.

"Bella's got him." I struggled to sit up but Daniel's hands very gently held me down. I turned my head to see Bella lay Raoul out beside me. We were surrounded by trees so the car must was gone off the road. There wasn't much light, just the glow cast by the one headlight on the car that was still working,

"Raoul! Oh, please, talk to me." My hand reached out to catch his, squeezing his fingers. His strong hand squeezed back after a moment.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It just grazed my leg, Chris, I swear. You, are you okay?" His voice was frantic, but calmed after Daniel's quiet, deep voice reassured him. I trembled and pulled Raoul's hand to my face, leaning into the warm skin as tears of relief streamed down my face. He was safe, I was safe. My danger sense was back to tingling lightly again. No doubt because of all the blood. It was probably very hard for the vampires to be near us right now.

"What happened to _him_?" I asked the question hesitantly, wondering if Daniel and Edward had done their worst. Daniel growled low in his throat and I felt his hands leave my body. Despite the coolness of them, I missed his touch. I could almost feel his internal struggle to control himself.

"Broke his neck when the car hit the tree." Edward's voice echoed from the other side of the mangled car. His voice was sour, as if he felt that too easy a solution to the problem. I couldn't muster enough malice to agree with him now. All I felt was relief, mingled with guilt. Fran was dead. Our plan had worked, but it hadn't gone as smoothly as it should have. Fran had paid the price for that.

"Fran's not dead. Your stalker was obviously the world's worst shot. Bullet took a chunk out of her scalp, but unless she bleeds to death, she'll survive to face reprimand over this bloody, freakin' mess." Edward's angry words sank into my brain like a balm and I stared blankly up into Daniel's face.

"It's over, Daniel. Really over." Daniel nodded and his fingers touched the side of my face that wasn't still pressed against Raoul's hand. His smile mirrored the relief I'm sure was obvious in my own expression, only I thought I saw sadness there as well.

"Yes, Christine. It's really over."

I heard sirens in the distance.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

I sat in front of Renesmee in Glee Club and stared into space. Dr. Jorgen was praising us all for the wonderful job we'd done at our final concert. It had been last night, Thursday night. Today was the last day of regular classes before finals next week. I barely registered when Dr. Jorgen dismissed us with a cheery 'Happy Holidays'. It had been a month and a half since the nightmares from my old life had ended. My stalker was dead, my brother was safe and I was free to live that old life again. Problem was, I didn't want my old life back.

"Chris?" Renesmee turned around with her best smile on high wattage. I barely noticed, giving her a distracted smile of my own as I pulled on my coat and gloves. She took my smile as permission to grab my hand and drag me down the risers and out of the rehearsal room. I half walked, half ran behind her as she wove through the crowded hallway and out the front doors of the Hop.

"Where are we going today, Nessie?" I asked this, slightly curious about her excitement. Slight curiosity was the best I could muster. At least it was better than complete apathy, which had been my response to almost everything lately. I almost felt guilty about that, but even seeing the concern in Nessie's eyes over the past several weeks hadn't been able to break my dark mood.

When I'd heard the sirens that night, I had immediately sat up despite the protests of both Daniel and Bella. I had insisted they vacate the crash scene immediately. The last thing any of us needed was to have to explain how the three vampires had beaten the emergency teams to the scene. Without a car. I finally convinced them to disappear and both Raoul and I had managed to get to our feet and stumble around to the other side of the car where Fran lay. Edward's bandage on her head was impeccable, made from his dress shirt. Raoul had the presence of mind to remove his own shirt and rip the sleeves off, using them to apply pressure to the still seeping wound. There had been millions of questions in Raoul's eyes, but he'd remained silent that night.

My brother's wound had been more than a graze, but not terribly serious. He'd been stitched up and released that night. I'd ended up with a couple of cracked ribs and a multitude of bruises, but I got taped up and released along with Raoul. Fran had needed more care, but I hadn't seen her again after that night. Not that I hadn't see plenty of the rest of the FBI. After two solid days of debriefing, someone had finally gotten around to asking me the most important question of all. What was I going to do now?

I had decided to finish out my semester at Dartmouth, maybe even a real college career. All because I wanted to stay close to the Cullens'. And of course, Daniel. I did, however, spend a week of quality time with my brother in Colorado. Raoul had asked me some hard questions that week, most of which I simply couldn't answer. I knew he wasn't going to let it go completely, but he had stopped asking after a few days. He had kissed me and wished me luck before I'd boarded a plane back to New Hampshire.

My flight had landed after sunset. I had chosen that on purpose so that the Cullens' could pick me up from the airport. I had been hoping Daniel would be with them, but I'd been disappointed. Two hours later, when I finally got up the courage to ask Nessie how Daniel was doing, disappointment had turned to devastation. Daniel had taken a leave of absence from school. I had understood, then, why he had been so sad at our last meeting. He had decided it was safer for both of us if he didn't have to be around me anymore.

When questioned, Edward had told me sharply that Daniel was sacrificing a great deal to make sure I was safe and could be happy. He had immediately seemed to regret his words, but he'd only spoken the truth. Daniel would never be happy if I wasn't safe. The irony was, safe and happy were two concepts that could never coexist in my world. Daniel had become my happiness. So he had sacrificed for nothing and we would both be miserable. My mind and my heart had splintered and I sank into a dark pit of despair so like the one Daniel had pulled me from so gently only a week ago.

Occasionally Renesmee would visit me in my pit, a bright light holding back the darkness for a while, but it always returned. I walked through the rest of the semester in a haze, somehow managing to speak when spoken to and get all my schoolwork done. I hadn't accepted another invitation to the Cullen's, nor had I gone to Creative Writing again. I knew the failing grade would look bad on my transcript, but if I walked back into that classroom I would lose my mind.

"I thought you might like to go Christmas shopping with me and Mom." Nessie sounded hopeful now. I really hated to disappoint her.

"Your dad?" My question was asked warily. I hadn't seen Edward since the day I'd come back from Colorado. He had made his opinion of me quite clear. I was the human that had ruined Daniel's life. In a way, I knew that was true and I didn't need Edward reminding me of it every time I saw him. I had ruined my life too. What human in her right mind would fall in love with a vampire?

"Chris, he really does want to see you again. He misses you." Nessie's voice was pleading and it nudged at the small piece of my heart that Daniel had left with me. I didn't think I could endure an afternoon with Edward. My one defense from him was composing in my head and these days, creating music was painful.

"Please, just for lunch? Then we can ditch him and go shopping, just us girls." She was practically begging. I grimaced. I hadn't done anything specifically _for_ Nessie in a while. I felt horrible making her sad. So I forced a smile and nodded. It was worth it just to see her eyes light up. She pulled me along towards the student lot. I saw the Guardian parked and idling and immediately began a faltering attempt at piecing together a cheerful tune in my head. I slid into the car beside Nessie and muttered a greeting to the vampires in the front seat as I fumbled with my seat belt.

"Hi, Chris." Bella gave me a warm, welcoming smile. My return smile must have been a little lackluster, because hers faltered. I ducked my head and dragged notes through my brain at a desperate pace, not caring if they made music or just mental noise. Edward hadn't even acknowledged my presence, so maybe he was ignoring me. I turned back to Nessie and divided my attention between her chatter and the discordant mess in my head as the car moved forward. It wasn't until we pulled up in the drive that I realized we were going to the Cullen's home for lunch.

Nessie pushed out of the car and bounded for the porch. Bella followed her, leaving me alone in the car with Edward, frozen with terror at the thought of walking into this house with all its memories. I looked up and met Edward's eyes in the rearview mirror. I lost track of the notes in my head and my mental wail of anguish reflected back to me from his face. I saw his eyes close, as if to shut out the incoherent grief I knew I was throwing at him. _I'm sorry. _Somehow I managed to insert that into my thoughts. I saw him wince and I knew I had to get out of the car before I lost it completely. I pushed the door open and scrambled after Bella and Nessie as fast as my feeble human legs would take me.

When I walked through the door, I was disoriented. The furniture layout had changed. It took me several seconds to realize why. The pink and green birthday decorations were back up and the furniture had been pushed back to leave plenty of space for dancing. I looked over at Bella, who was putting a small cake on the table. She gave me another warm smile and this time I returned it.

"Is it your birthday? I'm sorry, Nessie didn't say." If I'd known Nessie had wanted me to celebrate with her family, I would have tried even harder to be cheerful. Nessie herself danced over to me and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me close.

"No, silly! It's your birthday today. How could you forget your own birthday? You're twenty, too. Not a teenager anymore. Does it feel weird?" I stammered something that I hoped was appropriate as I tried to gather my scattered thoughts. It was my birthday?

"You're slipping, sis. You were always the one that never forgot any occasion." The sound of my brother's voice teasing me from the top of stairs caused me to cry out with joy. I pelted up the stairs and threw myself into his arms. He caught me with a laugh and sat down hard on the top step, hugging me close.

"Wow, if I'd known I was going to get this kind of greeting, I would have come sooner." Raoul patted my back and I relaxed against him. I tucked my head under his chin and breathed deeply.

"Why are you here, anyway? I'm coming home next week, silly man." Despite my words I thanked God that he was here. Especially now. My mind felt calm and my heart didn't ache so much. I couldn't compose music but I could focus my thoughts on my brother.

"It's your birthday. The big two-oh. I didn't want to miss that." He said with a chuckle. I sighed and pulled away from him, shaking my head.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." I said this quietly and he touched my nose with his finger.

"Any time, little sister. Day or night." His words held a wealth of meaning, but I couldn't examine it now. After the party, maybe I would let him drag me to whatever hotel he was staying at and cry on his shoulder. But for Nessie, I would play the happy party guest. For the next hour, I laughed, joked and smiled with my brother and the Cullen's. It felt good to leave the lights on in my pit for a while. Then it was time for presents.

I trembled when I touched the one present that I knew would break what was left of my heart. Just the fact that Daniel had left this with the Cullen's had given me a brief sense of hope, until I'd read the card.

"To my Christine. Remember me always. Love, Daniel."

"Selfish Bastard." Edward's words were muttered but obviously meant for me to hear. I flashed him a look so full of malice that he actually stepped back. I knew what he meant. He thought Daniel was selfish to give me something to keep his memory, and thus my love, fresh in my mind. _The man took my heart when he left. At least now I'll have a tiny piece of him as well. _Edward sighed and looked away from me then. I took some comfort in the fact that Edward seemed concerned about me.

"You're my friend, Chris. Of course I am." Edward's gentle words picked at my carefully cultivated cheer. I ignored him and opened the box in my lap. I pushed aside a wad of tissue paper and pulled out an exquisitely carved wooden sculpture that filled both of my hands. It was Daniel's family crest in three achingly beautiful dimensions. The wooden sword wrapped by a rose was such a picture of our love. The dangerous blade loved by the tender flower. I stroked edge of the sword, noticing that it pierced the leaves of the rose once. Right through my heart, I thought. How ironic that he had carved and painted a single drop of red on that leaf.

"Not Selfish. Stupid to think I would ever forget him." I said this aloud and gently replaced the carving in the box and went to close the lid. Edward's hand stopped me. He pulled a thick envelope from the box, where it had been taped to the side. I looked at it with confusion as I slipped the flap up and pulled the legal document out. I suddenly understood Edward's words and agreed with him completely, but my hope flared again along with my anger. He had deeded me his cabin in the woods.

My brother and I sat in the living room of Daniel's cabin. I couldn't call it mine. I was perfectly willing use the term 'ours' if Daniel ever came back. I was hoping this meant he was seriously considering it. He wanted me living in his house. On the surface, it seemed as if he was just trying to tell me he was never coming back. But deep in my gut, I thought that maybe it was just the act of a man in love. It was the gut feeling that made it possible for me to be here without screaming. I couldn't help breaking down though. Edward had driven us up and then had left us alone with the keys to the Asten Martin, stating that he would run home. Why hadn't Raoul looked surprised? The Cullen's house was a good thirty minute drive away.

I hadn't made it past the front porch, falling to my knees with my hand resting on the beautifully carved door. As tears streamed down my face, my brother had gently taken the keys from my hand and opened the front door. He had picked me up like a child and carried me inside, where Edward had obviously been earlier today because there was a fire going in the fireplace. It was a good thing, too, because December in New Hampshire was extremely cold.

After I cried myself out, I pulled out of Raoul's arms and smiled sadly.

"Sorry, I got you all wet." Raoul snorted softly, wiping at my tears with the sleeve of his coat.

"Like I care. But since you're already crying, I think it's time we had a little talk. All Nessie told me on the phone was that you needed me. She didn't tell me that man had broken your heart. Why didn't you tell me he left?" His voice was gentle, but I heard an undercurrent of anger.

"He's thinks I'm safer without him. Stupid, noble man." I whispered, avoiding the question. My brother's hands stroked my hair and he didn't say anything for a long moment, as if he were thinking something over.

"Maybe he's right, Christine. Maybe this is for the best. You'll get over him and find a beautiful young man to fall in love with. Someone human." My head came up and I looked at him with shock evident on my face. Raoul sighed.

"It's not impossible, Christine. People fall in and out of love all the time. You just need some time…" He trailed off when I smacked his neck with my hand, my eyes wild.

"Someone _human_?" I asked breathlessly, touching on the part of his speech that had caused my shock. The rest of it I could ignore as part of the obligatory brother speech. This, however, I couldn't let pass. Raoul's expression darkened.

"Yes, Christine. Someone human. Do you know what your boyfriend is, Chris? Really know exactly what he's capable of?" His words were hushed, as if he were afraid someone might be listening. I grimaced.

"Yes, Raoul, I know what he is. What the Cullen's are. I know they are my dearest friends and that I can trust them with my life. Even if Daniel doesn't trust himself." That was what made me saddest. Daniel didn't believe he could be with me. I suppose I hadn't really believed it either, until he was gone and I realized that I didn't want to be without him. If he had actually been man enough to say goodbye to me, I wouldn't have let him go and said damn the consequences.

"How can you trust them, Christine? I saw him that night, in the car. I saw the demon land on the hood of a _moving _car. He broke the windshield, reached in and snapped that man's neck like a toothpick with one hand. And the look on his face, Christine, before the car swerved out of control and he disappeared…" Raoul shuddered before he continued.

"I literally thought I was dead when Bella pulled me out of the car. I thought she was a real, live angel come to take me to heaven. Then I saw you laying there with your own angel, watched him touch you so gently and ask if you were alright. It took me a moment to realize that you're angel was the demon that had killed your stalker and wrecked the car."

I was frozen in Raoul's arms, realizing he had just enough information to be a danger to the Cullen's and to Daniel, wherever he was. And yet he hadn't said a word to anyone about what he had seen. Of that I was certain. I took my brother's face in my hands and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you. For not saying anything, thank you." My fervent thanks caused his eyes to widen in panic.

"So, it wasn't a dream?" His choked words made me smile humorlessly.

"What, did you think you were just insane? Seeing things?"

"I was hoping for temporary insanity, at the very least. You love these people so much, how can they be monsters? No wonder Daniel left, Christine! What happens if he loses control when he's with you and he snaps your neck with a flick of his fingers or something?" Raoul's eyes were wild and his hands flew about like they always did when he was agitated.

"They aren't monsters, Raoul. They're vampires. So trust me, Daniel's fear isn't so much that he'll break me as it is that he'll forget himself and I'll end up as a snack." My brother went very still under me and I tightened my hold on his face. "Don't freak out on me, Raoul. Please? They're good people and they don't eat humans. Just animals."

"But they'd rather have humans." Raoul's words weren't a question, they were a statement. His next words weren't so certain. "Chris, we have to…we need…who should we…" His words cut off and he winced when my fingernails dug into the skin around the edges of his face.

"Raoul, you are my brother and I love you dearly, but if you tell anyone what you know, I'll kill you myself." I was having a panic attack of my own, now. I had just betrayed a dearly held trust. The Cullen's would never forgive me. My threat was empty of course. I would never hurt my brother. But Edward might, if my brother betrayed his family. And the horrible thing was, I couldn't blame him if it happened.

It was another twenty minutes before Raoul and I were both calm enough to discuss things without one or the both of us freaking out. It was a very good thing that my brother trusted the fact that his own eerie premonitions of danger hadn't bothered him at the Cullen's today. Once we got our hysterics out of the way, I showed Raoul around the house. He was stunned by some of the intricate carvings. I finally left him to poke around in the kitchen and went upstairs. I didn't want any company when I entered Daniel's room.

I had never been on the upper floor of the cabin. The balcony ran the width of the floor and there was a broad hallway splitting it in two, leading back to a pair of glass doors that opened out onto a second floor veranda. There were two guest rooms on the right with a connecting bathroom. It was the room on the left that I was most curious about. Daniel's room. Unlike the open room downstairs, Daniel's scent lingered here. I sucked in a breath and stood very still. I could almost imagine him standing across the room from me, his golden eyes watching me intently. I could almost feel his cool breath on my cheek, his fingers trailing against my neck. But he wasn't here. Just a pale impression of his scent and the cold. There was another fireplace up here but Edward hadn't bothered to lay a fire. If I decided to live here, I would need to have central heat and air installed.

I walked forward to put my hand against the beautifully carved four poster bed. I knew that Daniel didn't sleep, but evidently his talent had led to this particular vanity. I was glad for it, because just touching the smoothly carved wood made me feel closer to him. I would have examined each post in detail if the headboard hadn't caught my attention. My heart pounded as I moved around to the head of the bed, my hand shaking as I flipped on the lamp on the bedside table so I could see more than a vague outline. I crawled onto the bed, scattering the fluffy pillows with my knees as I ran my fingers over the contours of my own face, etched into the wood.

"My god, that's you." My brother's voice echoed from the door. He stood there with two steaming mugs in his hands. Probably cocoa. I doubted there was much in Daniel's kitchen, but he'd known how much I loved hot cocoa, so he'd had some here the last time I'd come over. The day we'd shared our first and only kiss.

"Yes." It was all I could manage. He had captured me sleeping, somehow. Just the thought that at some point he'd watched me sleeping should have enraged me, or caused my blood to turn cold. Instead it comforted me. I was crying again, silent tears this time. Raoul set the mugs down and climbed onto the bed with me, wrapping me up in a hug as he examined the headboard with a critical eye. In the end, he just sighed in resignation.

"The man loves you, sis. Alright, so maybe love isn't the right word. Obsessed? I found another carving of you in the breakfast nook. Just a small one of you laughing. Not anywhere near this detailed." Raoul reached across me and handed me one of the mugs. I sipped it carefully and then leaned back against my brother. We sat there in silence for a while, just sipping cocoa and watching the sun set over the trees in the backyard through the huge picture window on the back wall. Raoul was the first to break the silence.

"Is the biggest problem that you're human?"

"It's the only problem, now, as far as I'm concerned. He's not my teacher anymore, so it's not like the school could fire him for breach of conduct or something." I found it a bit amusing that I'd ever considered that to be an issue. I suppose in a normal relationship, things like that might be important. But when your boyfriend was afraid he'd snap and eat you, it really narrowed your perspective. Of course, even the term boyfriend didn't truly apply. It was a colorless, generic word that didn't come close to describing what Daniel was to me. Soulmate, a word that might have sounded cheesy in any other situation, was the best I could come up with.

"Well, can't you become like him?" Raoul's words were pained, as if just saying them was difficult. I could only imagine what offering that solution had cost him, since he knew practically nothing about Daniel's people except that they had super human strength and had a weakness for human blood. But by offering me those words, Raoul opened up an avenue that I hadn't allowed myself to consider before for fear of losing my brother. I couldn't choose between the two men I loved more than my own life. But what if somehow, I could have them both?

"I don't know. Edward and Daniel refused to discuss the process with me. Bella once mentioned it was very painful, but that's all I know." I swirled the last few bits of cocoa around in my mug as my mind considered the possibilities. Raoul hugged me tight.

"Well, don't you dare even think about it without getting all the facts first. And if you do it without telling me first, I'll never speak to you again." His tone was teasing, but I felt the undercurrent of fear there. I leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I promise I'll let you know before I make any life altering decisions, Ra-Ra. Besides, I'd only do it if I knew Daniel would come back. Otherwise, what's the point of giving up chocolate?" My words make him laugh, just a little. After that, we made our way back downstairs so Raoul could bank the fire and we left. Raoul finally got excited about something as he remembered that Edward had left us the Asten Martin. I chuckled and buckled myself in as my brother laughed manically and started the car.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

I stared at Alice Cullen, my brow furrowed in confusion. Her husband, Jasper, was wandering around Daniel's living room, examining the carvings. I had moved into the cabin after Christmas. I had kept all of Daniel's beautifully made furniture, but had added a few of the precious antiques that my parents had collected during their world travels. All of my mother's Christmas decorations were up around the house, including the decorations on the huge Christmas tree that Edward and Nessie had helped me wrestle into the house. I kept them in hopes that Daniel would decide to bring himself home as a belated Christmas gift. It was already the middle of January.

The kitchen was now well stocked and the central heating system hummed quietly in the background. Oh yes, my brand new grand piano now resided in a place of prominence in the open front room. I was sitting on the piano stool now, turned to face Alice. She and Jasper had been staying with the Cullen's since just after New Years.

"So, you're telling me you can predict the future?" That seemed like such an outrageous talent, but it fit right in with the Cullen's other talents.

"I can see what will happen if you stay on the course you're on." Alice looked serene. Did that mean she knew I would take her news well? I had the urge to laugh, but managed to suppress it. I saw Jasper flash me a grin and I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't ask, though. The last thing I wanted to find out was that there was another mind reader in the Cullen clan. Being around Edward was bad enough.

"So, I'm assuming that something in my future is bad enough that you felt the need to come warn me about it. Or are you just here to try and talk me out of asking Daniel to change me?"

"You wanted to ask Daniel to change you?" That had actually startled Alice. My heart plummeted.

"Does that mean you don't foresee him ever coming home? Edward promised to ask him. Maybe he just hasn't called." My shoulders slumped forward. Of course, Edward had smugly told me there was no way Daniel would change me. Maybe he was right. Maybe Daniel had already gotten over me, maybe he had a vampire lady hidden away somewhere who had made him forget I even existed. My mood changed from sad to angry in a split second. I would claw her eyes out. Alice raised an eyebrow and I realized my lips were curled into a snarl. My face smoothed out as I felt oddly calm and reassured. Of course he hadn't found anyone else. Daniel loved me. Didn't he? Doubt tried to creep in, but it warred with that odd sense of calm and the calm eventually won. I relaxed. Alice sighed.

"Well, I have a slight problem seeing you sometimes, like when you're with Nessie or her warm-blooded friends." Alice seemed uncomfortable admitting that and I was surprised. Who knew the Cullen talents weren't infallible? I pondered that for a moment.

"Is there anyone I can bribe to follow me around so that Edward can't eavesdrop on my internal chatter?" My tone was hopeful and Alice laughed.

"Actually, Bella can. She's a shield. That's one reason, I think, that Edward fell in love with her so fast. She was the only female he couldn't read and he was forced to get to know her the old fashioned way. But back to the reason I came. You're in danger." I checked my danger sense automatically. Nope, just the usual vampire tingle.

"Just tell me what's going to happen and I'll avoid it." That sounded simple enough, right? Alice looked forlorn, however.

"It's not that easy. I can't see what's going to happen. All I can see is...the after. It's why we haven't been able to stop it. So far, nothing we've done changes your final outcome. Not killing your stalker, not Daniel leaving, not your deciding to go to college this spring instead of going off on tour. Nothing." I felt a rising sense of panic that was quickly quashed by my newfound calm. Okay, that wasn't normal. I looked over at Jasper, who wore a focused expression. I narrowed my eyes at him and he relaxed, giving me a brilliant smile that made my danger sense flare briefly. He looked startled. I rolled my eyes.

"Another empath. Great." My words were muttered under my breath but I knew they could hear me. "In case you aren't aware, I have a talent of my own. I can sense danger. That, Jasper, is what you just felt when you grinned at me. Tends to happen whenever one of you shows your teeth." I had never seen a vampire on the verge of panic before, but Jasper was. At least until he glanced at Alice and she shook her head.

"It's not fear?" He asked hesitantly. I shook my head and smiled wryly. I was glad I'd already had this conversation with Daniel. It made finding my words a little easier.

"I've learned that something being dangerous and me actually being in danger are two entirely different things. My spidey sense doesn't differentiate, so I've learned to ignore the little tingles. So no, I'm not afraid of you. I'm just smart enough to respect your appetite and try not to aggravate it." I gave Jasper a brilliant smile, which for the first time in our acquaintance he returned without the shadow of doubt behind his eyes. Wow, Jasper was really beautiful when he smiled. Alice cleared her throat then and I blinked. I hadn't been snared like that since Daniel'd left. Never look directly into the smile, I reminded myself.

"So, I'm in danger?" I repeated, eyes firmly fixed on a strand of Alice's hair. "Just tell me, Alice. There isn't much that'll spook me after the last year or so."

"All I can see is you, dying. The setting keeps changing but you never make it to a hospital. The people in the visions change, sometimes there's an ambulance and sometimes there's not. Sometimes I can't even see you. You're life just goes blank. Something must happen while you're with Nessie, or with one of Jacob's pack. So far they're the only ones I can't see around." Alice's voice was strained. I pulled my heels up and hung them on the edge of the piano stool so I could wrap my arms around my legs. I knew I should be panicking, but I had the strange feeling that Jasper was somehow controlling the emotional mood in the room. I knew Daniel couldn't do that. But, since I was calm, I was able to think about the problem rationally.

"What's wrong with me? In the visions?"

"That's just it. There's nothing visible. No blood, no obvious burns or broken bones. You just look...peaceful. I've shown my visions to Edward. He's had a lot of medical training, but he can't see anything either. I've seen him after, both he and Bella. They're devastated, so I can only imagine what Nessie's going to feel. She loves you." Alice was frustrated. I could almost feel the same. I glared over at Jasper, but he wasn't looking at me. I couldn't even feel properly irritated.

"How long have you seen this...vision?"

"Since Edward spoke to Daniel and told him that I'd seen him attack you in class. Your first Creative Writing class. That's why they came to Dartmouth, why Nessie was so determined to befriend you. We all thought you'd be safe after that, but I had these new visions and Nessie was adamant that we had to save you from that, too. When we found out you had a stalker, we thought that was the problem. But we got rid of him and nothing changed. So whatever it is, it's still coming."

I was stunned. Odd calm or not, I was stunned. If not for Alice's odd gift for seeing the future, Daniel wouldn't have seen me coming. He would have sucked me dry and then probably would have killed every other student in class to keep from exposing himself and others like him. I would be dead and he would have been devastated. Not because of me, specifically, but because everything he'd built for himself over the past several decades would have been gone in an instant. I had seen it, the pride he took in being a 'vegetarian' vampire, in being able to say he co-existed with humans and lived a fairly normal life. I threw myself off the piano stool and hugged Alice so hard I was bound to have bruises.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you, thank you!" Alice pushed me gently away and looked over at Jasper. The man shrugged, his face a mirror of the confusion and concern on Alice's face.

"I just told you that you're going to die, Christine. And if my timeline is correct you won't be around for another six months. Please tell me that Daniel leaving didn't make you suicidal." I shook my head and flounced back to my stool, smiling happily.

"I'm happy because you saved Daniel from me. For me. Even if I never see him again, I try to be okay with that. As far as the other...Death has been chasing me for a year, Alice. I'm not suicidal but I'm not going to run screaming from it. Besides, now I have ammunition for my argument that turning me isn't synonymous with murder as Edward seems to believe."

"Has Edward told you what being a newborn vampire means?" Jasper's question was sharp and the odd calm was suddenly gone. I expected to feel panic or at least a little dread, but evidently I was still so happy that Daniel had been saved from eating me that I only felt mild concern for my coming fate. Either dying or as a newborn vampire, I would face the rest of my life without fear. I looked at Jasper and rolled my eyes.

"He's been doing his best to scare the crap out of me. Or course he's told me. I'll be a lean, mean hungry machine for about a year. Human blood will be irresistible and I'll be as grumpy as a bear until I've learned to control my thirst. Which is why I'll be taking Bella's advice and moving to Antarctica. I hear there are plenty of penguins, a few elephant seals..." I trailed off. Evidently my exasperated, slightly amused tone didn't go over well with Jasper. He growled something at Alice and disappeared from the room. Alice reached over and patted my knee.

"Don't mind Jasper. Newborn vampires are a touchy subject for him. Not to mention Bella's easy conversion still has him rattled." I perked up at that.

"Easy conversion?" Alice's eyes widened as she realized she had told me something I hadn't been meant to hear.

"Oh, Edward is going to yell at me." Alice's voice was sad. I sighed.

"Comeon, Alice. You've already spilled the beans, so you might as well dump the rest of them into my lap. What easy conversion?" I listened as Alice explained that Bella had woken up from conversion with a healthy dose of self control and had been able to interact not only with her half human baby but also with her human father without incident.

"Don't get me wrong. Bella will be the first to tell you it wasn't really easy, but what she did was truly amazing. Don't tell Jasper I said this, but I think he's jealous of Bella's instant self control. He...had a harder time than the rest of us adjusting to a non-human diet."

"Ah...okay. But really, what was different about Bella's conversion?" I wanted to know everything, anything that might save me from a year in popsicle land eating penguins by myself. Or if I was very lucky, with Daniel.

"Um...I'm not the expert on that stuff. Edward and Carlisle did a lot of research and made a lot of notes about that. You'll have to ask one of them. Frankly, Chris, I don't even want to consider that option until we've had Carlisle do a full medical workup on you. That's why I'm really here. I want to take you back to Forks with me so we can run some tests, see if there's something hiding in there that we can fix."

I lay back against the hospital bed and started counting the pinholes in the ceiling tiles again. I had been here for two days now. The hospital's cable was on the fritz so TV was out. Alice hadn't given me time to pack anything more than a toothbrush and a pair of sock before she'd whisked me onto a flight to Seattle. I had nothing to keep me company but my own thoughts. I would have called Nessie on my cell phone, but it was in my purse, which was still in Dr. Cullen's car. Which was back in Forks, where he was making his rounds at the tiny hospital there. Evidently he didn't have to be present for most of the testing he'd ordered for me.

Somehow, Carlisle Cullen had enough clout with the hospital in Port Angeles that they allowed him to admit a patient and run a battery of every diagnostic and lab test known to man. All without a diagnosis. No, wait, what had he told me I was in for? Ah, yes. Fainting spells and migraines. I had never fainted a day in my life. Granted I had been known to nurse a nasty headache on occasion. More so since Daniel had left, but I always dismissed them as symptoms of stress and an obsessive amount of weeping.

"You could try reading a book, you know."

My heart crashed in my chest at the sound of that voice. Had I finally gone insane due to absolute boredom? I turned my head and stared at the figure leaned against the doorframe. Okay, I must have fallen asleep and now I was dreaming. Strange, I thought, that my dream Daniel had never had short hair before. It still covered his ears and a lock of it fell across his eyes, but it only brushed the top of his collar now. Still long enough for me to bury my hands in, I thought randomly. It was something I had never dared do in real life. But this was a dream, right?

"Are you real, or am I just dreaming?" Best get this question out of the way. If I was dreaming, then I was free to throw myself into his arms and kiss him senseless. If I wasn't, I still might throw myself at him, but I wasn't sure if it would be to kiss him or to beat my fists against his chest in anger. My heart shuddered as I watched him step into the room and kick the door shut with his heel. I let my eyes drink in his beautiful face. This couldn't be a dream, because my dream Daniel's paled in comparison to the real thing. My human memory just wasn't up to the task of remembering the perfect lines of his face, even when they were etched with pain.

"Not a dream, Christine. I couldn't stay away anymore." He walked slowly forward and I watched his chest rise and fall as he forced himself to breathe normally. I stayed perfectly still as he approached the bed, afraid to move for fear he would stop his forward motion. Four feet, three feet, two feet…and then he was there, standing over my bed with his hands clenched by his sides. I kept waiting for my danger sense to tingle or spike or something. It was completely dormant. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"You can't be real. My spidey sense is quiet." Those whispered words made him smile tenderly around the pain. He perched on the side of the bed and I inhaled his scent with a shuddering breath that ended in a sob. I curled my fingers into the covers to keep from reaching out to touch him.

"Can I touch you?" His words made my breath catch.

"Here I am, doing everything in my power not to wrap myself around you like a vine and you ask if you can touch me?" Did that sound a little hysterical? Perhaps, but I think I got my point across because he reached out with gentle fingers to brush against my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

"I gave up the right to do this when I left you, Chris. You should tell me to go, to leave you alone." I opened my eyes and glared at him. He flinched.

"I've tried alone and it sucks, Daniel Gray. I wish I could hate you for leaving me. I didn't have the strength to climb out of the dark pit you dropped me in for months. I made Nessie sad, and for that crime alone I should tell you good riddance. But if you're giving me a choice this time, I'm going to hang on tooth and nail and be damned the consequences. I'm dying anyway, so what does it matter if you slip up? I'd rather die in your arms than in the back of an ambulance headed for the morgue."

Daniel was still for a very long moment, as only one of his kind can be still. Slowly, the pain on his face changed, mingled with what I thought might be joy. He leaned down and I felt his cold, smooth lips press against my temple and slide down my cheek and along my jaw. He spoke, his deep, smooth voice vibrating through my bones.

"I love you, Christine Farlow, and I will never leave you alone again."

"Please promise me." My whispered request was full of all the pain and loneliness I have been holding inside since he'd left. He gently slipped his arms around me and drew me close.

"I promise." His words eased the ache in my heart and I reached up and buried my hands in his hair. His lips captured mine in the sweetest of kisses. My blood heated and raced, as per the usual when he decided not to be so careful around me. I kept waiting for him to tense and move away, for my danger sense to warn me that he was on the edge. It didn't happen until someone knocked on the door, startling us both apart. Carlisle walked into the room and Daniel actually hissed at him. I was working up to a snarl myself.

"Uh, bad timing?" Carlisle's innocent expression made Daniel relax. I sighed and let my hands fall from his hair to rest in my lap. Daniel gathered one of them in his own, lacing our fingers together. I looked hopefully at the doctor.

"So, does this mean you've come to let me out of purgatory?" Carlisle chuckled and eyed us speculatively.

"Looks like purgatory agrees with you."

"I can enjoy Daniel's company anywhere, but it's so much nicer when we don't have to worry about unexpected company. Like a lab tech wanting another vial of my blood." I waved my free hand, which had an IV port taped to it. "I still haven't forgiven you for this atrocity, Carlisle."

"Necessary evil, I assure you." He paused at the foot of the bed and his face turned serious. Daniel's fingers tightened on mine and I ignored the fact that I was losing feeling in my fingers. I felt a fissure of fear run down my spine.

"What did you find?" It was Daniel who asked, his voice quiet.

"You have three cerebral aneurysms, the largest of which is inoperable." Carlisle's words were grave. My brow furrowed, as the only thing I knew about aneurysms was that they had something to do with bleeding in the brain. Carlisle very gently explained the medical jargon so that Daniel and I understood.

"So basicially, I have a bomb in my head with a pressure switch trigger." My voice was shaky as I considered Carlisle's words. Daniel had shifted me gently so that I was reclining back against his chest, his arms around my waist pulling me tightly against him. His face was buried in my hair, but he wasn't breathing. It was like being cradled by a cool, marble statue. For most people, that might be disturbing. For me, it was the only thing holding back the hysteria.

"A bomb that I can't defuse. The odds of coming out of that kind of surgery with less than significant brain damage make the risks greater than I'm willing to accept." Carlisle looked so disappointed that I refused to break down in front of him. As resigned as I was to my fate, I still wasn't ready to let go of my life. Human nature, I suppose. As much as I wanted to be Daniel's match, someone he could love without fear, I wanted more time to be, well, human.

Up until twenty minutes ago, my priority had been finding a way to convince Daniel that I wanted him, danger or no danger, and that I was willing to become like him so that we could be together. Now that I had him back, my priority was the need to spend time with my brother. How long would it be after conversion before I was able to be near him without the overwhelming urge to make him into a snack? We were planning a summer tour together, something that would impossible as a newborn vampire.

"How much time do I have?" This was the most important question now. I heard Daniel inhale shakily. I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand as I waited for Carlisle's answer. The pale, elegant doctor shook his head.

"We can discuss that in detail later, with Alice. For now, I'll tell you that it depends on how willing you are to follow a few strict rules. We have to keep your blood pressure down, so that means you can't do anything that will get you too…excited." Carlisle was giving us a very stern look. Daniel began to peel me away from him. I realized what Carlisle meant and I really did snarl, at Daniel.

"Don't you dare decide to leave me again, Daniel Gray. If this means I can't kiss you until I'm converted, so be it. But if you think that leaving me again is the best idea, you might as well just bite me now. I will _not_ live without you anymore, kisses or no kisses." I wasn't so much angry as I was afraid, but either emotion was bad for me in my 'condition'. Daniel froze, panic in his eyes as he looked from me to Carlisle and then back again. I took his smooth face into my hands and held him there with all my might. Not that it would help if he took the notion to really pull away.

"Converted?" Daniel's voice was low, desperate. His cool breath barely brushed against my flushed skin. I sighed, frustrated.

"I'm going to kill Edward. He promised to tell you. What part of '_I will not live without you anymore_' didn't you understand, Daniel?" My voice was low, too, though I knew it was futile to try to talk to him without Carlisle hearing.

"You're brother…" Daniel started in with the one argument he'd think would make my decision waver. Silly Daniel.

"I have his blessing, Daniel." I said this gently, knowing he could feel the truth of that. It was hard to lie to an empath. His expression turned from desperate to stunned.

"His _blessing_?" His words were strangled, choked. I stroked his cheek, hoping to calm him down.

"This is something I've been considering for a while now, even before I knew I was scheduled for an early death. My brother…well, he saw you the night you stopped my stalker. I had to tell him something. He knows most of it and he's not exactly okay with it, but he understands how I feel. We'll miss each other the first year or so, but then I'll be able to see him. Bella and Edward are fairly certain I'll be able to control myself." I watched as he considered this, his hands coming up to gather mine. From his expression I knew he was about to say something profound. Carlisle interrupted again.

"Incoming." Just as he said that, there was a knock on the door and the nurse pushed into the room. Daniel was already standing next to Carlisle, as if we hadn't just been wrapped up together. I frowned at him and he gave me his most beautiful, serene smile. I didn't hear a word the nurse said, caught up in his beauty. Until Carlisle murmured something to him and his expression slipped into panic again. He disappeared without a word and suddenly the nurse's voice fazed into my consciousness.

"…get that IV out so you can go home. So who's your…um…friend?" The nurse looked back up towards where Daniel had been standing only a moment ago. The look of disappointment on her face when she saw that he was gone was almost priceless. I couldn't help a smug smile.

"Oh, that was my boyfriend, Daniel. He's going to get the car." The nurse sighed.

"I don't suppose he's got an older brother, hmm?" Her hopeful expression made me chuckle.

"No, he's an only child." The nurse muttered something that sounded like 'More's the pity' before jerking out my IV port. I hissed softly and she gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, hun. All done. I've got all your discharge paperwork here. I guess Dr. Cullen has already gone over your discharge orders with you?" Her apologetic smile turned into a sad one, filled with concern. Yeah, she knew what my chart said. I didn't want her pity, though. Better if she'd asked for Daniel's number so she could call him after the funeral. I just nodded at her and glanced back up to see that Carlisle had slipped out of the room, too. The nurse dabbed at the tiny droplet of blood on my hand and then taped a cotton ball to it.

"Yeah, he did. I can get dressed now?" The nurse shook her head and had me sign a half dozen pages. Then she handed me three prescriptions. I grimaced and nodded as she told me I could get dressed and gave me the number to call a patient escort when I was ready to leave. I sat down heavily on the bed as she left and stared at the little pieces of paper in my hands, signed with Carlisle's beautifully scripted signature. I felt a bubble of hysterical laughter rise in my chest at the reminder of how unusual everything was in my life. Even my doctor didn't have the usual illegible scrawl of his comrades. I pushed back the hysteria roughly and made myself get dressed.

When I got into the car downstairs, I realized that Carlisle was driving me and Daniel was nowhere to be seen. Had I scared him away with all the talk about conversion and forever? Maybe he only wanted me while I was human, the novelty of a loving a human woman only strong enough to hold him for my short lifespan. I began to hyperventilate. Carlisle looked over at me as he pulled out of the hospital lot.

"Chris, deep breaths, please. Don't fall apart on me until we get back to the house. Daniel will be there waiting. He needed a run to clear his head." I took several deep breaths and calmed my heart. I couldn't stop the tears from sliding from my closed eyes as I rested my head against the seat. I laughed harshly.

"I'm so pathetic."

"You're not pathetic, Chris. You just found out you're going to die. Top that off, you're in love with a vampire who fears to be around you because he knows he could bring about your death either indirectly or directly. It goes against everything we are, predator falling in love with prey. I never thought I'd ever see another couple like Edward and Bella, but God must have more of a sense of humor than I gave him credit for."

Both Carlisle and I were quiet for a while. My tears continued to fall, just silent drops. I was torn between fear and joy. Joy, because Carlisle had explained Daniel's fear to me. Perhaps he really was just afraid he would be the cause of my death. Well, if that was the case, then today should be a wakeup call for him. I was human. Nothing he did or didn't do could change the fact that my days were numbered. Which explained the fear.

Carlisle stopped and dropped my prescriptions at a drug store in Forks, where he promised someone would go pick them up later. By the time we reached the beautiful white house by the river, the tears were dried and I was literally breathless with anticipation. Carlisle had to remind me to breathe two more times. I was thrilled to see Daniel waiting in the drive as we pulled up. He had the door open before Carlisle had shifted the car into park. He unhooked my seatbelt and scooped me into his arms, carrying me towards the house. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I missed you." My words were muffled against the fabric of his shirt. I felt more than heard him breathe deeply and he sighed. I thought it was a happy sound.

"I missed you, too. Sorry, I just didn't think I could…not after so long away."

"It's okay." His arms tightened around me because, as I mentioned before, it's almost impossible to lie to an empath. I felt the subtle change in temperature as we entered the house, just the difference in being out of the wind. Vampires didn't really need central heating. I heard a subtle rumble as if someone nudged the thermostat, though.

"Edward's here?" I asked. Daniel chuckled.

"No, I just think Esme remembered she's got a human in the house again. That or Alice saw you turning into a popsicle. Kick your shoes off here." I complied, nudging my shoes off. They dropped to the floor and Daniel shoved them under the bench by the entryway with his foot before carrying me into the living area. Alice was perched on the back the couch. I looked at her happy expression.

"You saw him come back, didn't you?" My question was disgruntled. Alice's laugh was like chiming bells, making it impossible to stay angry with her.

"I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Come sit. I'll get you something warm to drink. Tea or Cocoa?" I smiled up at Daniel and he answered for me.

"She'll have cocoa and a blanket."

Alice disappeared and Daniel sat down with me in his lap. Despite the chill, I snuggled into him.

"So, you're serious about becoming a vampire?" Daniel's question made me cringe.

"You're killing my snuggle time, Dan. Can we have this argument later?" I traced random circles on his chest. He snorted softly.

"We aren't going to argue. We're going to have a conversation." I grumbled a bit and sat up, crossing my arms over my chest. I looked at his chin. The eyes were dangerous. I needed to be completely coherent for this.

"Edward said you'd never consider it. I have several very good points to make, however, that I think you'll see it my way in the end. If not, I'll just have to talk to Carlisle. I can do popsicle land on my own, I suppose…" Daniel interrupted me.

"Chris, Edward doesn't speak for me." He was smiling wryly. I paused in confusion.

"The man can hear your thoughts, Daniel. Are you telling me he was just lying about you refusing to even consider it?" The thought made me hopeful and I couldn't stop my eyes from traveling up to meet his. Oh, big mistake. I felt my heart flutter. He frowned and turned his head away before responding.

"Edward knows what my thoughts on the subject are, but they are very different from his own. Over the last three months, all my objections to your becoming part of my world have been erased. Your brother, the whole human experience, your celebrity. None of that matters now. I can't live without you either, Chris. I've tried and I didn't even last three months." Daniel's voice held a bitter note. I reached up and stroked his face with my fingers, a sense of wonder spreading through me as I realized what he meant. He wasn't going to fight me over my decision to become a vampire.

"Does that mean I don't have to move to popsicle land all by myself?" My question was quiet and it made him laugh, which was my goal. He turned his face back towards mine. Alice chose that moment to reappear with a mug of cocoa and a fluffy blanket. I found myself wrapped like a burrito, tucked snugly into the corner of the couch beside Daniel. I would have rather been in his arms, but I sensed it was discussion time and I didn't need the distraction. So I sipped cocoa as Daniel quizzed Alice on what she could see about my future.

"I'm still getting a multitude of possibilities and none of them are clear. There are just too many things that could happen, too many people making too many decisions. I'm hoping once you both make some solid decisions about what you're going to do in the next few months, I can get something more stable." Alice sounded resigned and I realized how much of a burden her gift must be.

"Have you seen her as one of us?" Daniel's next question was an important one and Alice smiled.

"Multiple hazy futures or not, that's definitely a possibility now." I relaxed and took another sip of my cocoa. At least I had hope. After a few moments of silence, I asked a question of my own.

"How long do you think I have? I don't want to push it too long, but I have some things I need to do before..." I trailed off and watched Alice's gaze turn inward as she flipped through the visions in her head. I leaned against Daniel as she focused and he pulled me tight against his side, planting a kiss in my hair.

"I think you'll be okay until the summer. Most of the visions show you in light clothes." Alice seemed mostly sure of her answer, but she called quietly for Carlisle, who would no doubt hear her from anywhere in the house. The tall, handsome doctor appeared in the room with Esme tucked by his side.

"You'll just have to behave yourself, Chris. No drama, no sports, no nothing that'll raise your heart rate or your blood pressure. Not even conversion can save you if you're brain-dead before we can get enough venom in your bloodstream." And so, I was to become a couch potato with minimal outside stimulation until such time that I was ready for Daniel to bite me? Or whatever would occur. I was still a little vague on the process. I was only certain of two things. One, I was going to be in agonizing pain for three days. And two, it would be worth every second of that pain for the promise of being with Daniel forever.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Daniel and I were curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace at the cabin. Our home. It felt odd to call it that since I had thought of it as his for so long, but Daniel had insisted since we both kept our belongings here. I was watching the fire dance across the logs in the fireplace and tried to feel content. It wasn't that I didn't love snuggling with Daniel, it was the stillness of the act that made me restless. What was the point in waiting for conversion when I wasn't doing anything constructive with the time I had left as a human?

"What's wrong?" Daniel's voice rumbled through his chest and vibrated into mine. I turned my head up to kiss his jaw and smiled wryly.

"You know what's wrong. This is pointless, Daniel." I heard him take a deep breath and sigh softly. I ducked my head under his chin.

"Not pointless, Christine. I want to be able to turn you myself, not have Carlisle do it. I need you close to me for a while." I pressed a kiss against the soft fabric over his heart.

"Not the being close to you part, Daniel. I love you with all my heart and soul. I don't want to be away from you. I just need to be doing something. All this sitting still is driving me crazy. I want to finish up my album. It will be a perfect excuse to throw a party for the people I want to see before I'm too different to get close to them. I want to do another tour with my brother, just a few dates. I want…" I trailed off on the last one, because we had never discussed it. I was almost afraid to bring up the subject for fear he would scoff.

"You want?" His voice was gentle as he pushed me away from him and forced my eyes up to look into his with one finger on my chin. I blushed and immediately took a couple of deep breaths to calm my heart before Daniel decided I was getting too excited.

"I want to marry you." My words were whispered. I watched his expression and it gave nothing away. There were times when his face was an open book to me and other times, he had such a perfect poker face.

"Why?" Daniel's question was cautious. Okay, so I couldn't tell anything from his face, but his voice give me a hint. He was worried about my motivations for wanting this.

"I will always love you. It's a soul deep commitment for me. For me, marriage is not only a picture of that commitment, but it's a promise made between you and me and God in front of witnesses that we will always belong with one another. I want them to know that I don't want to…no, I _will not_ exist without you."

"And you think God will smile on such a union?" Daniel's expression was tender now, but his voice actually shook. I cupped his face in my hands and smiled.

"God is love, Daniel Xavier Gray. He gave you to me, my savior and my heart. Of course he will smile on such a union." I leaned in and kissed him tenderly. He drew me into his strong, hard embrace then and I felt him tremble, as if he were weeping. My heart ached for him, thinking for a moment that I had made him sad. But then he stood up from the couch and we were upstairs in an instant. He kicked open the door to the master bedroom and sat me down on the chaise at the end of the bed.

"Daniel?" I asked in confusion. He shook his head and held up one finger. I tilted my head and watched him disappear into the closet. I hadn't removed any of his clothes since I had moved in, only taking up a small portion of the giant walk in closet. It had comforted me to walk in and smell the faint scent that was Daniel. It was so much stronger now, of course. I closed my eyes and inhaled with a contented sigh. A gentle, cool touch against my face made me open my eyes. Daniel's smile was questioning. I blushed and told him exactly what I was doing. He chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you like the way I smell, since I have quite an addiction to your scent myself." He leaned in and ran his nose along the side of my throat as if to demonstrate. My skin heated curiously under the cool touch of his skin and I felt my breath hitch. For once, he didn't pull away. Instead, he kissed a trail from the hollow of my throat, along my jaw and up to my lips. I knew he felt the joy as I pressed into him. Our kisses were few and far between. Daniel was afraid, not that he would lose control of his thirst, but that I would get too excited. It must be a special occasion.

When Daniel finally pulled away, he sat back on his heels and held out a small wooden box carved in the shape of a rose. I held out my hand and he placed the box in my palm. My eyes were wide as I examined the intricate bud and ran my finger over the satiny smooth petals before prying the top from the box. Nestled inside the box was a ring. It wasn't a traditional engagement ring with a diamond in a plain setting. Daniel would not have settled for something so plain. My ring was gold, the color a near match for Daniel's family signet, and from the design I thought perhaps made by the same jeweler. The band was etched with a rose leaves and thorns. The delicate, rose shaped setting was crowned by the hilt of a sword. The stone was a brilliantly cut, round red stone that I assumed was a ruby.

"Christine Elise Farlow, I will not exist without you either. Will you marry me?" Daniel's words were uttered in a deeply reverent tone that shook me to my core. The ring was beautiful but it had nothing on Daniel's smile, his eyes, his flawless pale skin.

"Of course." My voice was a little breathless. I thought that I had become immune to being dazzled by Daniel's beauty. Obviously not. And then Daniel's whoop of joy startled me into dropping the ringbox. He caught it, of course, and he slipped the ring onto my finger. I was laughing then, joyfully. I threw my arms around his neck and he picked me up and whirled me around.

"So, now I have an excuse to throw two parties." I said. Daniel's playful groan made me laugh again. He carried me back downstairs and deposited me on the piano bench.

"I'm thinking engagement party slash album release bash would be better. Two birds with one stone, you know. So, get to work woman. The quicker you get composing, the sooner we can tie the knot."

I played a chord and then broke into the Ode to Joy. About that time, Daniel's cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it.

"Nessie," he muttered, rolling his eyes. I modulated into a quieter tune as he answered the phone. I giggled when he started arguing about wedding dates. Evidently Alice had called her niece with the news. After a moment he growled and handed me the phone. I took it and was greeted by a cheerful chirrup.

"Chris! I'm so glad for you. Alice made me promise not to say anything until tonight. I didn't ruin it, did I?" The girl was suddenly contrite. I laughed softly and assured her that she hadn't ruined any surprises. She was immediately chipper again and immediately launched into a litany of wedding plans that had me cringing. I hated to ruin her fun, but the look on Daniel's face was frantic.

"Nessie, hun, we can get together in a couple of days and talk over things. I'm sure Bella has wonderful ideas, too. I'm still getting used to the idea right now." That seemed to calm Nessie down, but only after I promised to come to the Cullen home on Saturday for a 'Wedding Planning Party'. As usual, I couldn't say no to Nessie. When I hung up the phone, Daniel sat down on the piano bench with a sigh. I patted his arm.

"What, were you hoping for a Las Vegas elopement, my love? Not with Alice and Edward for friends." He shook his head with a wry smile.

"Big weddings take time to plan. I really don't want to wait that long. If I had my way, we would visit the court house in the morning and I could be calling you Mrs. Daniel Gray by twilight tomorrow." I leaned up and kissed his cheek and he wrapped his arm around me. "But if you want the big wedding, I suppose I can wait." His long suffering sigh made me laugh.

"I thought you wanted me to have an album slash engagement party? Even if I have enough pieces to record next week, it'll still take a couple of months for post production to wrap up on the album. That'll give the girls plenty of time to plan our wedding while we do more important things." I leaned into him and he hummed softly to himself for a moment. He tended to do that when he was thinking. Me, I tended to compose. I let my hands trail over a new melody as he thought, idly adjusting a chord here and a run there. It wasn't the first song I'd written about my love for Daniel, but it was the first one that wasn't colored with sadness or despair.

"Okay, but don't let them pick your colors or you'll end up with pink everything. I know you wouldn't like that. Um…what more important things?" Of course he picked up on that.

"Planning a couple of things. First, I want to do a dozen or so tour dates after the album comes out. And second, we have a honeymoon to plan." Daniel stiffened beside me and I looked up to see a look of horror on his face. I sighed.

"Daniel, I know we can't have a real honeymoon while I'm human. As much as I'd love a little Nessie of my own, Carlisle was blunt about my chances of surviving the kind of pregnancy that Bella suffered." The horror slowly drained from Daniel's face, letting me know I'd addressed his primary fear. "But I want a honeymoon, so I'll have to do it as a vampire. We've been avoiding an in depth discussion of the when, where and how of my conversion and that needs to happen soon. Because everything else will revolve around that date."

Daniel sighed and nodded. I knew he wanted this as much as I did, but he was still torn about the details. I trusted him completely, but he didn't trust himself. Hopefully by the time I was his wife, he would be comfortable exchanging my life for a new one. One where I could be his equal partner, his lover, his other half. Forever.

The last rays of sun cut across Bella's hand as she passed me my bouquet, casting a rainbow of sparkles across the white lilies and red rose buds. Nessie had proudly announced she was doing my flowers and I wasn't surprised she excelled at being a florist. I looked over at her and smiled.

"It's perfect, Nessie." The girl beamed at my praise, a pretty blush rising on her cheeks. I was concentrating on my beautiful best friend to keep myself from turning into a puddle of nerves. She was dressed in red, a gown made by Alice for my one and only bridesmaid, my maid of honor. It was a simple sleeveless dress of floor length, gathered silk with a sweetheart bodice and a black sash belt. It was a style match to my wedding gown, which was snow white silk with some delicate red embroidery on the bodice. The embroidery was echoed on the edges of the white veil.

Nessie had been adamant that I follow the 'rules', so I ticked off the list in my head. The dress, of course, was 'new'. The blue garter I was wearing was Alice's, so that covered 'borrowed' and 'blue'. The 'old' was my engagement ring. I had learned from Daniel that it had been his grandmother's, made to match the ring that he wore, which had been his grandfather's. I had also learned that the red stone was not a ruby, but a rare red diamond.

"_Only the rarest, most indestructible gem on the planet could symbolize my love for you."_

His words echoed in my head every time I looked at my ring and I felt my love for him grow each time. It had grown so much over the past months I thought I might burst with it. His ring was the only piece of jewelry I wore today, the only piece I needed to wear until we exchanged our wedding rings.

"Nervous?" My brother was standing there, looking dashing in his black tuxedo and white bow tie. I smiled at him, shaking my head.

"No, just excited." So excited I was trembling. I took a few deep breaths and tucked my hands around Raoul's arm to steady them. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I had managed to discourage Alice from turning my head into a work of art. Of course she'd taken Nessie's head hostage in revolt, but Nessie hadn't minded so much. Daniel loved my hair down, so it was down, curls peeking from under the tulle veil. I blinked against a flash of light and smiled. Bella had designated herself photographer.

"Last one. I'm heading downstairs now." Bella leaned in and kissed my forehead gently. "You look so beautiful. He'll be beside himself." Her whispered words made my heart ache. It was something my mother might have said to me. I blinked back tears and gave her a tremulous smile. She brushed her cool fingers over my cheek and then left the room. Nessie slipped out into the hallway after her mother. I knew she would come back in to tell us when it was time to go downstairs.

"She's right. You look beautiful, Christine." Raoul dropped a kiss on my forehead as well, the contrast between Bella's cool lips and his warm ones almost shocking. I looked up at him and couldn't stop a tear from slipping down my cheek.

"I just wish mom and dad could be here." My voice trembled with sadness for the first time today and Raoul gathered me into a hug.

"I know, sis. But they are with you, in spirit, watching over us today. They were always so proud of you, Christine, would be so proud of you. Just like I am. You've shown me just how precious each moment of our lives is, Christine. Becca and I have decided to get married, in the fall." My brother knew how to both comfort and distract me. He and his on again, off again girlfriend had been dancing around commitment for years. I suspected it had been mostly Raoul who had cringed away from it. But my brother had changed over the last year almost as much as I had. I had always liked Becca and was thrilled for them.

"Oh, Ra-Ra! That's so wonderful. Now I don't have to worry about leaving you alone so much." My comment made him laugh softly. We just stood quietly for a moment before Nessie tapped on the door.

"It's time. I'm headed down." Her grinning face hovered in the doorway for a moment, scanning my dress to be sure nothing was out of place before she withdrew. I clutched my bouquet and glanced at Raoul. He must have read panic in my eyes because he smiled gently.

"I thought you weren't nervous?"

"I lied. I think I might need to throw up." The butterflies in my stomach had decided it was time to migrate and were working overtime. Raoul shook his head and drew me out the door of Nessie's bedroom towards the top of the staircase, obviously trusting me to resist the urge to retch on his shoes. I heard the Wedding March playing and managed a couple of deep, calming breaths. The stairway curved on its way down to the first floor, effectively hiding me from everyone downstairs until Raoul and I swept around the last curve.

As we stepped into the open front room of the Cullen's home, I was aware of the dozen or so guests standing to watch me walk towards the fireplace. My eyes went immediately to Daniel, who stood with Edward at his side. I barely even noticed Nessie standing on the other side of the minister. My brother's hand tightened over mine as my feet and my heart both picked up tempo, eager to reach the ultimate goal. My gaze swept once up his body, registering the black tuxedo and red tie. After that, I was content to look at his face for the rest of the ceremony. His expression was bright and loving, his eyes sparkling with excitement. The butterflies stopped and my heart melted as Raoul put my hand in his and moved away.

I think I managed to say my own vows in a clear, bright tone, but honestly all I remembered later were the tears that spilled down my cheeks when Daniel spoke his own vows. His 'I do' became a two note symphony in my head. My next clear memory was being gathered into his arms for a tender kiss. I thought my heart would explode from the amount of joy I felt. Daniel's lips curved into a smile around mine and I knew he could feel that joy. Looking into his eyes, I saw the emotion staring back at me. Not a reflection of my own, as I so often saw, but a double portion straight from both of our hearts.

"So, this means I get to keep you, right?" I whispered the words against the corner of his mouth. Doubtless most of the wedding guests could have heard it, but I didn't care. Daniel's lips feathered across my cheek up to my ear as the minister introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Gray. A round of applause covered the soft words murmured into my ear, for me alone.

"Until the end of time, beloved."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

I was surprised afterwards that I could remember anything other than the burning pain, but I could recite every tender, pained word of Daniel's comforting litany from those horrible two days of my conversion. He had never left my side from the moment he had injected his venom straight into my heart and then bit me several times to help spread the venom faster. I hadn't managed to endure it in complete silence, but after the initial scream I was able to limit myself to whimpers and sobs. I think the convulsions at the very end had been the hardest on Daniel.

It was over now. I would never again take freedom from pain for granted. It was a glorious feeling, the cool stillness of my own body. Well, all but the dry, parched throat. That I had been expecting. According to everyone I'd talked to, that thirst should be the only thing I was able to concentrate on during my 'newborn vampire' stage. Daniel had told me gently just before he'd started this process that he was willing to wait for me as long as it took. I was hoping I could be more like Bella, however. I didn't have as much patience as Daniel.

As I lay quietly, I realized that I wasn't breathing. I inhaled, feeling the rush of air into my lungs. They reacted indifferently to the influx. I didn't need to breathe anymore, but in my first breath as a vampire, I tasted heaven. I inhaled deeply again, letting the flavors of smoky cinnamon and chocolate invade my new senses. I knew this odd combination of scents, but in my human memory it was only a poor, dim copy of this perfection. Daniel's scent was like ambrosia. It didn't ease the burning thirst in my throat, but it distracted me from it. The touch of a smooth, warm hand against mine startled me into opening my eyes.

"Christine? My love, are you with me?" His voice wrapped around me like warm velvet, despite the concern in the musical tone. My mind was still marveling over his voice while I gasped in wonder at the clarity of ... well … everything. The light itself sparkled, its entire spectrum visible. Even the dust motes were things of beauty, spinning and dancing along the beams of sunlight spilling across the bed. It was morning.

My mind felt expansive, so much more space to consider my new senses. I listened and I could hear the sound of the waterfall at the back of Daniel's property, the sound of the wind rustling leaves on the trees outside, the scratching of insects from the forest. I pondered all of this in the split second it took to turn my head so I could see my husband's face. He was propped up against the headboard of our bed, in our cabin. I reached up to touch his face, wondering at how much more beautiful he was now that I could really _see_ him. My human eyes had been too feeble to perceive his true beauty before. His skin was no longer cold to my touch, for my skin was now the same temperature as his.

"My love." Another distraction, my own voice, sidetracked me again. It sounded like a delicate wind chime. But it also drew attention to my throat. I grimaced as the burning ache grew nearly unbearable. Daniel frowned and was off the bed in an instant. He held out his hand to me.

"Come, let's hunt."

I didn't hesitate, jumping off the bed as agilely as a cat, lighting in front of Daniel with my hand in his. He grinned, brilliant light sparkling off his teeth. I was momentarily dazzled. Bella had promised that I wouldn't lose the depth of my feelings for Daniel as a newborn. Jasper and Edward hadn't been so optimistic, telling me that Bella's case was more than likely an exception. Most newborns thought of nothing but their thirst. I was delighted to prove Bella right. I felt an electric tingle run from his hand to mine and all my love for Daniel swelled until I marveled at the wealth of it.

"Can't I have a good morning kiss, first?"

Daniel's expression changed to wonder as my arms slipped around his neck and my lips brushed against his. I felt him wince and remembered another bit of trivia about newborn vampires. They were stronger than older vampires. I loosened my hold until Daniel seemed comfortable. I was then quite happily overwhelmed when he kissed me fiercely. I was no longer a fragile human who he must treat as gently as blown glass, so he crushed me to him. If my heart had still been beating, it would have been racing now as desire flashed like lightning through my body. I returned his kiss, trying to remember to be careful of my own strength. It was strange to find our roles reversed.

"This is more than I dreamed, that I would get to hold you like this so soon." Daniel's lips trailed along my cheek to my ear. I laughed softly, a merry chiming sound.

"I was hoping. Maybe if I…ugh…" I trailed off as the thirst overrode my desire to show Daniel exactly how much I loved him. A haze was beginning to descend over my mind, overpowering my ability to think rationally. Daniel seemed to sense this and he drew me to the window and we jumped to the ground. I didn't have time to ponder the fact that I had just leapt from a second story window. I just…stepped out and the ground came up gently to meet me. I landed lightly with Daniel and he chuckled, obviously feeling my surprise.

"Welcome to my world, Christine. Now, let's find you something to eat before your newborn control snaps." I didn't argue with him as he led the way into the forest behind our cabin, deeper and higher into the mountains. Daniel was fairly sure that we were save to hunt here. There were no mapped trails here, only wild, privately owned land. The thrill of the run was breathtaking, the wind whipping my hair back from my face, the trees flying by as I leapt and jumped, nearly flying over and around every obstacle as easily as if I were strolling along. I suddenly understood why vampires loved running. It was incomparable as a method of travel.

It was two hours and three rather unappetizing elk later when we headed back towards the cabin. The thirst was muted now, if not satisfied. Daniel told me gently that it would never really go away and it would be harder to control for the first several months. I had expected this. Every vampire I knew had given me advice and pointers and facts about newborn life. I was determined to prove as much as exception as Bella. Not that I really wanted to test my resolve on anyone human. But sooner or later, the Cullen's would be over for a visit and I would get my first test. Nessie. She might be half vampire, but her heart pumped very human blood through her veins. Hopefully, once I was comfortable being around Nessie without the urge to taste her blood, I would be ready to see my brother again. For now, though, I was content to enjoy my honeymoon with Daniel.

"Let me get cleaned up and what say we continue our conversation from the morning?" My suggestion caused Daniel's eyes to light up. I leapt through the open window of our bedroom and danced towards the master bathroom, enjoying with my newfound grace. I closed the door and stripped out of my messy clothes, grimacing. There was one thing I needed to learn to apply my grace to - hunting. Daniel didn't have a spot on him. As I kicked the torn and blood stained clothing into the corner, I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror and my breathing stopped.

The woman in the mirror couldn't be me. She had skin like Bella Cullen's, flawless lily-white skin, and a body that, though still petite and curvy, was tight and toned. But it wasn't my gorgeous new body that held my attention. It was my eyes. I reached up to touch my face and it was like touching satin draped over steel, but that couldn't distract me from the horror that flooded me at the sight of my bright red eyes. That terrible emotion drew him to me, his concern for me overriding any gentlemanly thought for my modesty. I turned into his arms, burying my face in his shirt.

"Christine, love, what?"

"I'm hideous." My words were sobbed out against his chest. He stroked my back with gentle fingers and I felt more than heard his quiet chuckle.

"Chris, you aren't hideous. You're beautiful." His voice was filled with joy, despite the waves of fear and discontent that were rolling off of me. I clutched at his shirt with my hands and looked up at him, ignoring the sound of cotton tearing at the seams.

"Look! My eyes are _red_ Daniel. I look like a...like a..." I trailed off, unable to find a word that conveyed my horror. No one had mentioned this little detail. I'd assumed my eyes would be black, like Daniel's were when he was hungry. Not a bright, practically glowing red.

"Like a vampire?" Daniel's joy melted into concern as he ran his fingers through my hair. I vaguely registered the fact that two leaves and a twig fell to the floor at our feet. I really did need to learn how to eat without making a mess of myself. But that was all sideline to my major concern.

"Your eyes are never red." I said this like an accusation. Daniel sighed.

"They would be if I made a habit of drinking human blood, Christine. I guess we forgot to mention that. You've never seen anything but vegetarian vampires."

"This is normal?" I whispered the question. Daniel leaned down and my eyes drifted closed as he kissed them tenderly.

"Yes, this is normal. Give it a few months and it'll fade to amber, then to gold." His voice was soothing, but I was still unsettled.

"Unless I snap and kill people." I was frightened by my own violent mood swings. I felt everything so deeply. Everything from the joy of being with Daniel, to the thrill of running faster than the wind and even the horror I felt seeing the color of my eyes was intense. As intense as the hunger had been an hour ago before I'd fed. I felt it hovering in the background, waiting to pull me into a haze of bloodlust again. Would I be able to control that hunger if I had human blood within reach? I felt panic rising and I almost felt cheated that I couldn't properly hyperventilate. Daniel's shirt came to pieces as I wrung my hands in distress.

"Do I need to call Jasper?" Daniel's quiet question brought me up short. Did I want Jasper to come and help control my erratic moods? No, I didn't. I was on my honeymoon. I wanted Daniel all to myself. That train of thought reminded me that I was pressed up against my husband in nothing but my under things. Not to mention I'd ripped his shirt to shreds and I had his gorgeous chest under my hands. That delicious electric tingle raced up my spine and I would have blushed if I'd been capable of it. My breathing did speed up this time, but not in panic.

"No, I do not need you to call Jasper. I need you to distract me." I then proceeded to wrap myself around him, gently so that I wouldn't hurt him, and he responded with a crushing kiss. Oh yes, distraction would work just fine. I would worry about my eyes in a few months, when our honeymoon was officially over and I was forced to face the real world again. Daniel scooped me into his arms and carried me back into the bedroom, laying me on top of the bedspread and following me to the bed. I turned on my side to face him.

"I love you, Daniel Gray." I watched his beautiful eyes melt into liquid gold.

"I love you, Christine Gray, every part of you, inside and out." He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly before whispering in my ear. "So, are you properly distracted?"

"Not in the least. You need to try harder." I teased him with a laugh. And he proceeded to distract me so thoroughly that I forgot anything existed beyond Daniel and Christine.


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue

"You can do this. I believe in you." Daniel whispered encouragement in my ear as I sat on the couch with his hand clutched in mine. Nessie sat on my other side, snuggled up against me. I drew in a deep breath, letting Nessie's scent feather across my awareness. It didn't tempt me anymore, that sweet smell of her blood. Not that just the thought of blood, any blood, didn't cause my mind to wander in dangerous directions, but I had a handle on it. But Nessie wasn't fully human, as Raoul was. I knew that the next few minutes would be hard, but I wanted to succeed badly.

It was only three months since my conversion and I felt I had enough control for this meeting. Daniel and I had spent nearly two months alone, with very rare visits from the Cullen's. I had finally allowed Nessie to visit just three weeks ago and had been so proud of my control since then. Perhaps I was blessed to have her to test myself on. If being with my best friend was easy, then hopefully being with Raoul would be merely difficult and not unbearable.

I heard the car pull up in front of the cabin and I tensed. I could hear the loud, nervous pounding of Raoul's heart already. Nessie patted my knee.

"You'll do great. Edward and Bella swear you've got nearly as much control as Bella did and she saw Papa Charlie just a day after her conversion. Just remember not to breathe too much and if it gets too hard, just tell us. Raoul will understand." Her words soothed me a little. I just hoped Raoul wouldn't freak out over my eyes. They were red-amber now, the red faded enough that I could look at myself in the mirror without having a panic attack. I refused to wear contacts or sunglasses though. I wanted Raoul to see me as I was. He deserved that.

The knock on the door was only a courtesy, a warning to brace myself. Bella and Edward let themselves into the house with Raoul a step behind them. I resisted the urge to jump up from the couch. Whether to run away from or to my brother, I wasn't sure. Instead, I made myself stand up very slowly, Daniel and Nessie flanking me. I wasn't sure if they were there to support me or to protect me from myself, but either was comforting.

"Chris? You look…wow." Raoul stepped out from behind Edward and was staring at me with cautious wonder in his eyes. I knew that Bella had shown him a picture of me on the way over, but I suppose a photograph was an abstract concept compared to reality, no matter how detailed it was. I smiled at Raoul, careful not to show my teeth.

"You look good, Ra-Ra." My comment was quiet and low, but I saw how different it sounded to him. He was startled and I saw a look of near-panic flit across his face. Then I saw him visibly square his shoulders and he stepped forward again with a bright grin.

"Not good as in delicious, I hope, sis. I've finally got a girlfriend who'd miss me if I didn't come home." He was teasing me. Raoul and I exchanged emails on a daily basis and I think we'd finally gotten over the awkwardness between us regarding my conversion. This teasing was familiar enough that I forgot to be careful and flashed him a toothy grin in response. He didn't flinch, so that was a good sign.

My danger sense was tingling now, as it had the first time I'd seen Nessie after conversion. I hadn't lost that talent, as I'd thought for the first couple of months. It seemed I was just never in danger myself any more. I only felt it in regards to danger to others. In this case,_ I _was the danger. I felt a light surge with each beat of Raoul's heart, felt it spike when I concentrated on the pulse of blood in his veins. I fought back the monster inside who was whispering how warm and satisfying it would taste. Not my brother, I snarled back at it. The danger ebbed to a tingle again. I chose that moment to drawn in a breath.

It was painful. Like a faint echo of the flames of conversion flashing down my throat. Raoul's scent was heady and I almost felt dizzy with the need to taste it. But I pushed it aside, focusing on the hard press of Daniel's hand on mine and the lighter touch of Nessie against my arm.

"No, love looks good on you, big brother." Raoul's wedding date was set for Thanksgiving. I'd always liked Becca, but Raoul's reluctance to treat a romantic relationship seriously had kept her at an armslength for nearly a decade. The fact that Raoul was willing to admit not only that he loved her, but that he wanted to spend his life with her must have come as a very pleasant surprise to Becca. Maybe the last year had changed Raoul as much as it had changed me. Well, maybe not as much as it had changed me. I glanced at Edward when he chuckled softly. He grinned at me and then winked. I rolled my eyes before focusing back on my brother as he spoke.

"Yeah, well, speaking of, do you think you'll be up to playing at my wedding? Becca's been asking for you." I completely forgot about his delicious smell…well, not completely since my throat was still on fire, but I it was the very last thing I was focused on now. I stepped towards him, my intent to hug him. I caught myself up short when I saw the shocked expression on Raoul's face. I had forgotten to move slowly. Daniel had let go of me and Edward was completely relaxed, but Bella was looking worried.

"Sorry, Ra. I'm just so amazed you asked me. Of course I'll play at your wedding, even if I have to hold my breath the whole ceremony." I stood there, two feet from Raoul, vibrating with joy and the need to hug my brother. I didn't really trust myself, so I put my hands behind my back. Raoul must have noticed something on my face that gave away my thoughts, because he glanced at Edward.

"Go ahead. She won't bite. Well, I don't think she will, anyway." He winked and gestured towards me with an encouraging smile. Raoul snorted softly but turned back towards me.

"I'm gonna hug you, now, Chris, if that's okay." Raoul warned me, stepping forward. I didn't move, letting him bring his arms up around me. I didn't breathe as his warm, soft body curled around mine. I could feel the pulse of blood under his skin, hear the lush thump of his heart. But I focused on the fact that this was my brother, that he trusted me enough to put his life in my hands. I was able to, very gently, bring my arms around him. I didn't dare squeeze. If my unrestrained hugs had the power to hurt my granite skinned husband, one distracted movement around my brother could end his life abruptly.

"Brrr, you really are a popsicle, sis." Raoul's gentle laughter would have warmed my heart if it had still been beating. He stepped back and I let my arms fall as he reached to run his fingers through my hair and then brush his hand across my cheek. "I've missed you. Email's nice, but it can't compete with actually being with you, freaky vampire body or not."

"I've missed you, too." I murmured and grinned. He smiled happily.

"Maybe you'll let me call you now that I've heard your new voice in person. I'd love to hear one of those big shot record producers tell you now that you're voice isn't 'quite good enough' to sing your own songs." I laughed at that. Now that I couldn't dare step into the spotlight again, it was ironic.

"Definitely. I want to hear all about your wedding plans. I really hope I'll be comfortable enough in a crowd by November. I'll work really hard on it. Practice makes perfect." Of course, practice also meant more opportunities to slip up. I felt a shiver of horror run down my spine and an urge to call Alice for a look forward at Raoul's wedding, just in case. Edward chose that moment to distract Raoul with a random question and Daniel slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. Nessie seemed to realize I needed a moment, so she grabbed Raoul by the hand and dragged him towards the piano, begging him to play something for her. It gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. I looked up at Daniel and was surprised by the pride in his eyes.

"You're doing great, Chris. You'll be strolling the Green with Nessie in a few weeks, I promise. I won't let you eat anyone. After that, a handful of wedding guests will be a piece of cake. So to speak." He chuckled. His confidence made me giddy and I stood on tiptoe to kiss him. Across the room, my brother played one of my songs that I had written for a romantic movie soundtrack. I watched Edward and Bella begin to dance. I looked up at Daniel with a hopeful smile. He took my invitation and drew me close, swinging us gracefully around the room in time with the music. I tucked my head under his chin and I sang some of the lyrics.

"_Love began the day I met you, my life will never be the same. You, keeper of my heart, holder of my soul_." Daniel dropped a kiss in my hair and sang the words back to me as we whirled in graceful circles around Edward and Bella. Nessie laughed from her perch on the piano stool beside Raoul and clapped her hands in delight. I captured the moment in my memory and knew without doubt that I would always think on this as the most perfect day of my existence. I had my husband, my best friends, my brother and for the first time in so very long, there was no shadow hanging over my happiness.


End file.
